Knight Time...

Day 6 of The 129th Rasheul Great **** Tournament
04:58 PM

The sound of metal on concrete rang through the storeroom as the knight stepped over the debris. His neck turned, allowing his gaze to wander between me and Wonder Witch, and the Fake Assassin.
He dropped the axe. It struck the floor with a resounding clank, and he spoke.
"Why, from this setup alone, I should be justified to think that my attendance is not desired."
...That voice. No way.
"...Regardless, I will not entertain any objections. I was invited."

Beatrice aimed her finger at the knight. I grabbed her wrist, shaking my head when she looked at me.
The knight lifted his helmet.
I couldn't believe my eyes. All my suspicions were confirmed, "Victor!"

That was my good old Victor, all right. Good old machiavellian Victor. I wasn't used to seeing him with his hair all unkempt, but it was thick, grey and packed to the brim with chemicals. Just like Victor's hair. And his face... It wasn't an old face. Sure, it showed signs of aging, but not in the kind of way which spoiled the veneer of confidence and dignity that made him... Him. If anything, it just gave him character. I gotta learn how to age the way he aged!

He carried the helmet under his arm, and approached us, "Correct. I am he. I believe your butler sent a Distress Call on your behalf."
"Oh, Max!" I beamed, "I could kiss you right now!"
"So... Do you know this oaf?" Wonder Witch asked.
"Oh, yeah! This is Victor Hayden!" I pointed at him with my open palm, "He's like the you from my world!"
"We'll see about that." They said in chorus, looking each other up and down.

"Hey!" I looked at him, "So, I guess this makes us even now for back in the Ivory Coast?"
"No. That favor was already returned during the incident with Bloody Guzman. This is for the role you played in the Thule Excavation."
I cocked my brow, "Thule? As in the Thule Society Thule? Nazi Atlantis?"
He nodded.
"Oh. Well, I hope we won't be siding with the Nazis then."
"You say that now." He mused, using his reflection in the helmet to adjust his hairdo, "Yet it might be prudent to reserve judgement, at least until you learn what the real bad guys will try to do."
"...Damn." I slumped.

"Now, Allison, no need for that attitude." He said, strutting over the barbells, "Rest assured, no trivial favor would compel me to navigate... This incomprehensible ordeal." He looked around, his eyes shifting to the Fake Assassin in a loincloth, and then to Wonder Witch, whose panties were still on display, "I do believe a distinction is called for. One between a Distress Call, and an Allison Call. A situation of this calibre far exceeds any notion of mere distress. For goodness sake! Do you have any idea how I even got down from your dirigible?"
"Did you blow it up?" I guessed.
"I wish. No, I resorted to employing the services of one of the locals." Victor snapped his finger, and a grey-skinned woman in a suit appeared beside him.

"Femto!" Wonder Witch cried out.
The Devil swiped her hand through the air, and a tornado of purple energy enveloped Victor. When it lifted, his disguise was gone. Now he stood there in his ordinary blue three-piece suit.
The Devil floated over to the Witch, "Why, hello there, miss Cannot-Interfere-Today!"
"Now, don't you pull that!" The Witch huffed, "I had to be enslaved for that to happen. And commanded against my will to do so!" Beatrice leered towards me, "What a marvelous idea that turned out to be."
"Hey! In my defence," I raised both hands, "I had no idea what you'd pull off to get out of releasing your ****! And I didn't exactuly expect the Spanish Insquisition."
"For the record," Victor said, "I would expect the Spanish Inquisition."

Wonder Witch turned to the Devil, "Femto, I do know I was in quite a hairy situation, but still... Don't tell me you assisted this egolomaniac?"
"Assist?" The Devil laughed, "Assist? Oh, no no. I wouldn't put his demeanour in the same dictionary as the word 'assist.' Our cooperation can best be described in terms of 'extortion!' Or maybe 'exploitation!' There has to be an -ex in it somewhere!"
"All things considered," Victor straightened his jacket, "I'll take that as a compliment."
"Compliment my ass!" Femto hissed, turning to her Wonder Witch, "Do you know what he had me agree to before he could even bother to help you? He made me agree to use my devil powers for a wardrobe change! All while his girl was being hounded by an entire regiment of Holy Goons!"
"Far be it for me to point out discrepancies in your little harangue, but your own behaviour was in concordance with seizing the best possible deal at the moment. After all, you did argue back."
"Oh, are we talking about discrepancies here? How about the discrepancy of the power to subdue souls and alter time being thought of as anything but a convenient wardrobe?"
"And yet you agreed in the end." Victor shot her a lopsided smile.
"That... Does not make it better. That makes it worse!"
I couldn't help but smile.
In this case I didn't mind their bickering. Not really. In fact, I'd rather not see what kind of harebrained schemes these masterminds might cook up if they got along.

"Femto, enough." Beatrice shouted, "The Holy Knights will return from their diversion any moment. We should dispatch promptly."
"Your meretricious friend is correct, Allison." Victor said, focused on pushing the buttons on his watch, "I have no intention of outstaying my welcome. I have other matters to attend."
He pushed a button on his watch, and an oval portal of swirly pink energy popped out in front of him.

I stepped towards it, then peered over my shoulder, "Well, guys... It's been a trip. And you know what? I had fun! And I think you guys had fun as well. But now I gotta make myself scarce. My own world and my own life awaits. But I'll always treasure the time I spent here."
Beatrice smiled, "So that's one less threat to this world to worry about."
"Hey, it's not like you've got a shortage!" I waved at them, and they waved at me back.
And together with Victor, I stepped into the portal.

"Will she be all right?" Fake Assassin asked behind me.
Aww, what a darling.
"She's going home." Beatrice said, "Where she belongs. Whatever the case may be, she's indubitably safer there."
That was the last I heard from them before the portal closed.

April 7th 2014 06:14 PM
New York City

Beep!
Beep!
HONK!

Beep, beep, beep!
HONK!
Beep!
Oooouu-ueeeehh!!

It was faint, but I clearly heard the bustling traffic from below, even through the deafening roars of the wind.
Not as clearly as the handcuffs clasping around my wrists though.
CLICK!

"HEY!" I leered up at Victor. From the portal suspended in the air, he savoured the sight of my naked body with a satisfied smirk.
The moment I left the portal, he had swung me out towards a towering spire and chained my hands behind my back as if to a totem pole. The bright tan steel spike I was tied to joined naturally with the tapering roof on which my bare feet attempted to find purchase. My hair waved like a flag in the freezing air. The sky stretched out infinitely before me with the dim shade of green it assumed in big cities whenever it refused to entirely surrender to the blackness of night. It joined seamlessly with an orange glow that burned behind the skyline.
Looking down was beyond dizzying. It's like being struck in the face by terror and punched in the stomach by anxiety at the same time. But it was totally worth it.
The Big Apple's streets joined in a colorful tapestry beneath my feet. It was like looking at a living map, from where towers reached out to the sky like beckoning hands made out of steel and concrete.
I recognized the view.
"THE CHRYSLER BUILDING?" I shouted over the winds, "REALLY? YOU'RE GONNA DO THIS RIGHT NOW?"
My feet slid down the cold steel floor, caught just short of an untimely demise by the very handcuffs that trapped me.
"OH, ALLISON..." He didn't even look at me as he talked. He slipped his glasses from his breast pocket and wiped them with a handkerchief, "BY NOW YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE COMPREHENDED MY MODUS OPERANDI! I ANSWER THE DISTRESS CALL. I PICK YOU UP. I GET YOU BACK TO OUR WORLD SAFELY. THAT IS MY DEBT CLEARED. NOW..."

"I GET IT!" I yelled, scrambling back to my feet, "I DIDN'T SPECIFY WHEN AND WHERE! I KEEP FORGETTING WHAT A SHITBAG YOU ARE!"
Victor laughed, "ALLISON, PLEASE... YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THAT I HAVE NO INTENTION WHATSOEVER OF PUTTING YOU THROUGH ANYTHING BEYOND YOUR CAPACITY! THIS I BELIEVE IS A MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL ARRANGEMENT! YOU GET TO PRACTICE GETTING OUT OF DASTARDLY PREDICAMENTS, AND I GET TO PRACTICE...!"
"BEING A SHITBAG!"
He flashed me a surprisingly boyish smile, "IF YOU MUST!"
I looked down at the view. Holy shit, there's nothing quite like New York.
"YOU KNOW THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE PULLED THIS GREAT CHRYSLER CRISIS ON ME?" I pointed out.
"REALLY NOW?" He put on his glasses and shrugged, "THEN I SUPPOSE I MUST HAVE SEEN FAVORABLE RESULTS!"

"EHH... NEVER CARED FOR THIS SETUP! A BIT TOO KING KONG FOR ME... BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? SURE! SOMETHING FAMILIAR WOULD SIT FINE RIGHT ABOUT NOW! YOU'VE GOT ANY IDEA WHAT A WEEK I'VE HAD IN THAT WORLD?"
"AH! I WOULD IMAGINE IT HAS TO DO WITH A DEVIL!" He pointed out.
"OH, TRUST ME! THE DEVIL WAS THE LEAST WEIRD PART!" I laughed, "THEY'VE GOT EVERYTHING THERE! FROM HOLY WEAPONS, TO TICKLERS, TO DICK-GIRLS WITH SNAKES FOR DICKS! THEIR WORLD WORKS BY AN RPG LEVELING SYSTEM! AND THEY ACTUALLY FOUND A WAY TO REWIND **** ITSELF! YOU KNOW WHY? SO THEY COULD HOLD A FRIGGIN ALL-OUT FIGHTING TOURNAMENT!"
"SOUNDS LIKE YOUR KIND OF PLACE!" He said.
"YEAH, YOU'D THINK SO? BUT NAH! TOO MUCH SLAVERY THERE! TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY! AND TOO MUCH... SERIOUSNESS! LIKE, SERIOUSLY! AS IF I WANNA BE POPULAR FOR EVISCERATING SOME LADY I HARDLY KNOW!"
"AH, SO I PRESUME YOU WILL NEVER GO BACK THERE?"

That question made me stop to think.
I felt kind of bad for dropping out so suddenly. I mean, that Office Dork must be devastated!
Well, I suppose he'd miss me something awful. But he'd get over it eventually.
I also lost so much while there.
Uni.
Katey.
Bat Girl.
That was painful.
But the pain was only there because they're such great friends. If I never met them, it wouldn't hurt.

"But then... I'd never have gotten to know such awesome people existed."
"WHAT?" He yelled.
"I SAID ONE TRIP WAS ENOUGH FOR NOW! BUT WHO KNOWS? MAYBE THE FUTURE HAS MORE PLANS FOR ME AND ALL THAT!"

He turned around, facing the other end of the portal, "DO NOT EXPECT THE FUTURE TO TREAT YOU MILDLY, ALLISON! NOT IF YOU INSIST ON LETTING IT RUN WILD! YOU NEED TO HOLD THE REINS TO YOUR FUTURE BEFORE IT GOES WHERE YOU WISH!"
"YEAH..." I looked away, "THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT IT!"
"I SHALL HOLD YOU NO LONGER THEN! YOU NEED ALL THE TIME YOU CAN MUSTER FOR YOUR ESCAPE! UNTIL THE NEXT TIME THEN, GOOD BYE!"
The portal closed, leaving me alone.
Alone, with the 9 million New Yorkers below. And with my thoughts.