Sunday Shenanigans

I got up Sunday morning a little after eight AM and immediately went for a morning jog. There was nothing like cool crisp morning air being sucked into my lungs and flowing over my hot sweaty body. Now when I run, I don’t keep track of where I’m going, I just go where my legs take me. I even lose track of time even though I wear a watch.

So imagine my surprise when I came home to find a giant piece of white bristle board in the front window with a schedule of time and amount requested to see Natalie naked in the window. Apparently she planned to show herself off for one and all at ten. eleven and noon. All she wanted was fifty dollars for bare tits, a hundred for bare ass and one hundred and fifty to see her in the total nude.

A fast check of my watch showed me that it was a little after eleven thirty so that would explain the crowd of guys outside my living room window who were hooting and hollering. I even heard one guy say, “Man how much would she want to let me fuck her?”

I ran to the back yard, went through the gate and through the patio door. First thing I did was grab the bristle board and tore it out of the window. Then I closed the blinds and opened the door, screaming at all gathered outside. “All future show has been cancelled, so get the fuck away from my property of I’ll call the police and have you removed!”

One called out, “Hey we are on a public sidewalk, so we can do anything we want to do!”

I shouted back “Ever hear of a Public Nuisance charge idiot? If not then just stay where you are and you’ll learn all about them!”

Man, the guys couldn’t move fast enough to clear the sidewalk in front of my place! I then screamed for Natalie to get her ass in here. Natalie came from her bedroom rolling a pair of red panties back onto her crotch!”

“What the fuck do you think your doing?”

“Just doing what you suggested, making money from anyone who wants to see me naked!”

“Really, so you’re aware that guys are offering you one hundred and fifty dollars to fuck you!”

“Oh my god Graham, you should know that I never charged anyone money to fuck me!” Then to emphasize her point “EVER!”

“So let me get this right, you won’t prostitute yourself for money but it’s perfectly okay to do so for naked pictures of you?”

“Well how else am I to get money to pay off the court?”

“Duh!, get another job!”

Never realizing that those words would come back to bite me in the ass!