contractual obligations II

“Woah! Seriously? I mean, seriously? Woah!”

Ben blubbered and gasped as he gaped at me with huge, bulging eyes.

“You...you...you can’t just do thaaaaaat!”, he finally sputtered out. “Changing your form so drastically violates all manners of contractual obligations! It’s super illegal! What were you thinking? Were you even thinking? Or did you just wake up today and decide to commit fraud?”

Our next stop was the arena. Or rather a fancy office deep in the bowels of the arena.

Ben was already briefed on my...situation but that didn’t stop him from having a complete freakout upon seeing me.

“I didn’t do this on purpose, you know”, I grumbled. “It’s not my fault the church won’t get rid of this.”

“Not your fault", Ben repeated. "N-ot your...f-f--fault. N-N-Not y-y-your f-f-f-faaaaUU...."

Oh great, now he started giggling.

“You think I care who’s at fault here? Because I don’t care who’s at fault here. Wanna know what I care about? I care about the contractually binding arrangement that YOU decided to toss away like used panties!”

“Look, what’s even the big deal?” I do not need to suffer from an Arrogance curse to recognize that my body was a complete bombshell and absolutely qualifies for the beauty standard. “I even fight in this stupid costume if it makes you happy.”

“I just...I can’t. I can not deal with this.” Ben closed his eyes, slumped back on his too large fancy chair and massaged the bridge of his nose. “Maria, honey, do me a favor, will ya? Tell Mr. I wanna be a sexy bunny girl what the big deal is.”

Maria bowed and addressed me.

“According to chapter VII, subset section rule VIII, paragraph three of the extended 129th Rasheul Great **** Tournament Ruleset, combatants must ensure that up and during the period of the tournament their body does not deviate substantially from the standards established during the preliminary evaluation. This includes but is not limited to weight gain or loss, lack of hygiene, accelerated aging or de-aging, injuries or general uglyfication, diseases, illness, changing race or gender, dying, cellular body restructuring…”

Ben held up a hand which caused Maria to stop her recital. “When they evaluated your body during the preliminary evaluation YOU. WERE. MALE! Changing your gender is only allowed AFTER a match has started! You have read the contract, right? Maria, tell me this blow up doll bimbo has read the contract!”

“My apologies.” Maria bowed. “I will take full responsibility for my Masters irresponsible behavior.”

“This might get you fired”, Ben snarled like the little gremlin he is. “Heck! This might get ME fired! First that fiasco with Ojou-sama, then the giant audience orgy who’s lawsuits have still not stopped coming in and now THIS! What is wrong with this years tournament? I was killed! KILLED! All I wanted is to have a respectable career in the **** Tournament business. Is that really too much to ask for? IS IT?”

Ben opened a drawer on his desk, fished out a small bottle and dumped a worrying amount of brightly colored pills into his mouth.

“How most peculiar, oh battle maiden”, Nikkou commented while Ben was rambling/overdosing. “Thine acquaintances doth seem possess a set of rather unorthodox qualities.”

Please don't link me with this guy.

Unfortunately, not even the legendary Holy Blade seemed to placate Ben in any fashion. He was still too busy switching between rambling and staring daggers at me. In fact he looked ready to throw a dagger at me.

“Perhaps you should apologize, my Lady?”, Sanakia whispered. “Mayhaps if you were to offer up your body...”

“I don’t want to hear it!”, Ben cut me off before I could even make the attempt(which I wouldn’t). Seemingly having taken his meds he suddenly jumped off his chair walked up to me and squeezed my breasts.

I almost cleaved his head in with Nikkou.

“Relax, I’m not into girls, remember?”, the little shit had the audacity to say. “Alright, I need you to strip for me.”

“EXCUSE ME?”

“Listen, Buster.” Ben poked my chest. “You have NO idea in how much trouble you are right now. I am your God now. One word from me and you spend the rest of your life as a quadruple amputee serving as a male meat toilet. Got it, cum slut?”

...

Should I cleave his head in?

Actually never mind that, Sanakia looked like she was ready to do it for me at any minute. Good thing that with her armor regrown she can’t wield that sword of ruin anymore. Still, I decided to tell her to stand down, just to be on the safe side.

“Master Beta”, Maria whispered, “I strongly urge you to comply here.”

What choice did I have? Resigned, I stripped myself naked, safe for the collar of course.

“Hmm…”, Ben immediately started circling around me. “Alright do some jumping jacks for me.”

“Is that really…”

“JUMP JACK!”

I started jumping.

Meanwhile Ben just stood there and stared at me. Or more specifically at my breasts.

“Ok”, he eventually finally commented. “Give me some poses.”

What follows was something I rather not recount. Although I did go through a similar procedure back when I went to the preliminary evaluation to qualify for the..uhh..qualifiers.

Basically it involves lots of humiliating prodding and touching to make sure the combatants “qualify” for the tournament’s beauty standard. I had to stretch and pose and smile in all manners of way to ensure my assets were worthy of the **** tournaments esteemed standards.

Considering certain combatants temper, I wonder how the hell the judges survived that.

“Alright.” After a perceived eternity, Ben finally let out a deep, annoyed sigh. “You still qualify.”

“Of course, my Lady qualifies!”, Sanakia blustered. “She is absolutely beautiful and stunning! Just look at her big, bouncy breasts and supple bottom!”

“Yes, yes, she’s hot. That’s only one part of the problem solved”, Ben responded with another groan while I dressed myself again. “I will now have to explain to the higher ups that one of our finalists decided he suddenly wanted to be a girl and convince them to allow this. Fun! Love spending my free evening doing this!”

My sympathy is immeasurable. “Do you think this will be an issue?”

“No, no it won’t”, Ben sighed. “They will chew me out and huff and puff but ultimately wink it through. The alternative would mean no final and that would be absolutely catastrophic.”

So, Ben’s just bitching for the sake of bitching. Got it.

“No, because we still have one final roadblock”, Ben snapped at me. “We also need consent from your fellow finalist. Because according to the rules, Minerva is well within her rights to demand your disqualification and be crowned champion without a fight.”

Oh.

Shit.

Ben sighed again, this time less manic and more resigned. “Let me be frank here, don’t get your hopes up. We can sweeten the pot somewhat, throw in a few extra mansions and what not. But only a complete lunatic would throw away a free win.”

“Uh...what exactly will happen if the match falls through?”

Ben gave me a look. “What do you think? You and everything you own will become property of the Tournament Association. It won’t even make a dent in our incurred losses but you better believe we will squeeze every single drop of value out of you. You probably end up as a free use mascot to promote the tournament or something.”

Just as I was contemplating jumping out the nearest window, Maria spoke up.

“I would be pleased to arrange negotiations with Miss Margaret”, the maid offered.

Ben seemed skeptical too. “You think you can pull it off?”

Maria nodded. “I am confident in my negotiation skills and our position is not quite as disadvantageous as it seems. After all...Miss Margaret is in violation of the rules too.”

Oh! Of course! She turned herself into a Dark Lord!

Even Ben seemed to be surprised upon hearing this.

“However, please do not misunderstand, Master Beta”, Maria tempered my expectations. “This does not absolve you from your own violations.”

Figures. I guess I could demand that Minerva gets disqualified too, but that doesn’t really help me.

Besides, I doubt the tournament association will be very successful with pushing legal actions against a Dark Lord.

“Still, it’s an angle”, Ben pondered while stroking his chin. “Alright, do it. I arrange matters with the higher ups. Oh, and obviously failure will not be tolerated.” Ben gave Maria a serious nod and then for some reason grinned at me. “You know, massive contract violations that could get both of our butts fried into the next era aside, if we can pull this off and see the holy blade Nikkou in action for the first time in 800 years AND against a Dark Lord no less, that would be one massive PR win for the tournament. In fact I probably end up with a promotion straight to the board."

Great, I care very much about that.

But at least Ben seemed to be back to his usual obnoxious personality. “And if you ever turn yourself back into a guy, you owe me a date that goes all the way to fourth base, buster!”

I don’t think I want to win anymore.