Chapter 144
by 
Gambio
What's next?
Back at the tower, at last
It was already close to eight in the evening when I finally returned back to my tower. All in all that excursion took an entire day. Six times as long as it was supposed to.
“How dare you!”
The first to went off on me was Hebi-san.
“Foolish Mari Beta!”, she hissed. “You dare depart for that long AND impudently change your gender? We do not recall giving you permission for that! You must be punished for that!”
Yeah, get in line.
“Eh, who cares? He’s way better as a hot chick!”, Gilbert laughed and tried to sneak around my body. Not that I was having any of that. I immediately grabbed Gilbert and squeezed.
“Careful, Gilbert. I am not in a particular joking mood right now.”
“The little snake girl was quite worried about you, Daddy”, Cassandra, casually sipping on a drink as always, chuckled “You should have seen her pacing up and down the tower like an abandoned doggie.”
“S-silence, foolish human! We merely don’t allow our thrall this much freedom!”
“I told ya, they would be fine”, Fisti put in. “They got Lady Sylphid with em after all. I bet it was a complete cakewalk.”
“You were almost as nervous as the snake girl”, Cassandra further remarked.
Meanwhile Aiju had stared at me without saying anything for quite a while. Then she silently walked up to me and put a hand at my crotch.
“H-hey!”
“Dick gone. Not good”, the catgirl complained.
“W-well yeah…”
She looked up at me. “Get it back. Is needed.”
What do I even respond to that? “Uh...sorry, Aiju...I’m afraid I can’t do that just yet. Look, I brought you an Alice Doll.”
In response the catgirl hissed and dashed off. (But not without grabbing the doll)
Geez.
In case you are wondering, Sylphid and Lucky apparently went straight to bed the moment they arrived. Not that I can blame them, but still given the situation I am amazed they can find the calm to sleep.
So, basically it was business as usual here. In fact, no one even remarked on the legendary blade I was carrying with me.
Well, almost no one. There was in fact a single person in this entire tower who’s reaction was somehow appropriate to the situation at hand.
“N-No way...you...you actually got it?”
The little ex-witch stared at me, or rather Nikkou, with her mouth wide open in abject shock.
“Indeed”, Sanakia responded with a very proud smile. “My Lady, with my help, completed her quest and found the Holy Blade Nikkou!”
“It sure looks like a right fancy old blade”, Fisti agreed. “And ya can cut Dark Lord’s with it?”
The Sexy-Knight nodded eagerly. “No fell Dark Lord will bar my Lady’s path! With Holy Blade in hand my Lady will vanquish evil across the land!”
I never agreed to that.
“Hmm…”, the Huntress slowly finished up her drink. “You sure it’s the real one?”
Oh.
“Exactly!”, Beatrice immediately latched on to that. “This thing is obviously a fake! These bumbling bimbos got bamboozled like the buffoons they are!”
“Well, it can talk.”, I argued.
The ex-witch cackled at that. “Perhaps it shouldn’t surprise me that this impresses a country bumpkin but talking swords are all the rage in Zeth. This is nothing special.”
“You nonbelievers!”, Sanakia indignantly crossed her arms. “The holy blade herself authenticated her authenticity! What more proof could you require?”
I hate to take their side but Beatrice and Cassandra do have a point. We don’t have any genuine proof that this is the real article. Cell certainly seemed to think so and Ben didn’t have any objections either but that alone can hardly be called hard evidence. I can’t dismiss the possibility that this is one last trap the dungeon pulled on me.
“Just look at it”, Beatrice scoffed. “Sparkling all fanciful as if it has to proof something. Only a complete and utter IDIOT would fall for such a pathetic ruse!”
“What a rude child”, Nikkou finally commented. “Thoust thou doubt thine own eyes?”
“Hmpf! We will show you who’s a child, you counterfeit kitchen knife! Femto! FEMTO! GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!”
“Yeah, yeah...geez Bea, isn’t it past your bed time?” The devil of time slowly descended from the ceiling. “Good evening, Ma’am. I see you had quite the spelunking adventure. Got yourself a brand new sexy body in the process, eh? Nice, nice. I can relate. Say, did you know we devils actually offer gender changes for absolutely insanely low...”
“Nobody cares about that!”, the ex-witch screeched. “The sword! Identify the sword!”
“Oh?”, Femto’s gaze was at last drawn to the holy blade.
I hold it out so that the Devil could get a closer look at it. “Can you identify it?”
Grrrr….
“Devils have an inherent aversion to holy weapons”, Beatrice happily added. “A lesser devil can’t even be in their presence! And even Femto would feel sick to her stomach being so close.”
Femto happily extracted my gold coins from my fighter’s pass before carefully observing the blade.
“Go on”, Beatrice demanded with a smirk. “Tell these tardy troglodytes that this tacky table dressing is fake.”
“Hmmm…”, the devil thoughtfully scratched her chin, then she took a deep breath and...
“BLAAAARGHHHHHH!”
“WOT ARE YA THINKING YER DOING YA DISGUSTING BEAST!”
Meanwhile Beatrice’s smug smile evaporated in an instant. “W-what?”
Femto daintily extracted a handkerchief and cleaned her lips from vomit residue “It’s the real deal. The blade is infused with godly power. And a great deal of it too. In fact, just standing near it makes me nauseous. Don’t want to ruin the carpet any further, so, toodles.”
And just like that, the devil vanished again.
“Well…”, Cassandra scratched her head. “Guess that’s that.”
“T-this proves nothing!”, Beatrice angrily and vehemently objected. “Just because it has some holy power doesn’t mean it’s the actual holy blade! I want a second opinion! You there, C-maid! Stop cleaning the floor and fetch someone who can cast identify! Do it immediately!”
“Cease your stalling!”, Sanakia shouted. “You are just angry that you now have to be my jester!”
“Oh, right”, Cassandra nodded. “There was that bet, was there?”
“A barmy naked jester”, Fisti emphasized.
“Hmph, a foolish punishment for a foolish girl”, Hebi-san agreed. “How fitting. Perhaps we can also make her clean her pets mess, with her tongue.”
“Uniiiiiiiiiiiiii.”
“Y-You..You…”
Beatrice was shaking and trembling. She seemed to take this rather hard.
I sighed. “Girls, let’s just be glad Nikkou is actually genuine and leave it at that. I think Beatrice is punished enough as...”
“YOU MORONIC NITWITS!”
Beatrice gritted her teeth in frustration and stomped her feet. “I’m telling you this thing is a fake! It’s totally a fake! Just look at that hapless imbecile! He not only managed to turn himself into a girl but he also hops around in that utterly humiliating outfit! Do you actually believe big boobed bunny brained bumbling bimbo over here capable of wielding a legendary blade? The only thing that wanton whore is worthy of wielding is a Willy! Mari Beta? More like MARI BOOOOOOOOOOOBS!”
…
..
.
“Head back! Now balance the ball on your nose!”
“A..acho!”
SPANK!
“eeek!”
“Work harder!”
A butt naked (and very embarrassed) Beatrice was working on her juggling skills with Sanakia serving as her very harsh instructor.
“Show me a big smile! Act like you enjoy this!”
The bratty ex-witch certainly deserved it(and Sanakia will be distracted from punishing me as an added benefit)
And I did at the very least limit the physical **** Sanakia was allowed to attribute towards Beatrice’s butt.
With Sanakia and my new jester occupied, the rest of us were busy discussing what has to come next over a late dinner.
Naturally, that would have been to sign Femto’s contract. However, Cassandra correctly pointed out that signing any devil contract before Minerva even agreed to the match would be stupid.
“Ya know, I agree with Rice on one point. Why are ya still wearing that get up?”, Fisti asked while devouring a Henderopa steak. “Don’t get me wrong, yer making for a wee bonnie lass but aren’t ya embarrassed?”
Of course I am!
“It is my punishment for thee battle maidens godless ways. ‘til further notice thy arth clothing thyself in shame garb ‘til thy hath repent.”
I felt pretty repentive already but Nikkou was dead serious. Unless I was wearing the entire set I wasn’t even capable of lifting the blade. Granted, the evasion benefit was so massive that I will have to wear this outfit tomorrow anyways, so maybe that is just her way of making me get used to it.
Or maybe Nikkou is just secretly a pervert.
“Accuse me not, oh battle maiden, lest you wish to battle thine fight in the nude.”
She can also read my thoughts, because of course she can.
“At any rate”, I responded, not feeling particularly hungry. “Cassandra, I had you look over the contract with Maria, right? Is everything in order?”
“Hold yer tebasakis Mari”, Fisti scowled. “Didn’t ya get the sword so ya don’t have to rely on that awfy devil?
I certainly wish that was true but...
“Does the thing even work with devils?”, Cassandra asked. “Sure didn’t look like that earlier.”
Oh. Shit. I didn’t even consider that. Femto certainly showed plenty of uh... aversion.
“Thou Holy Blade mine may be called, mine sole purpose is to slay Fiends”, Nikkou responded. “I hath no quarrel with Devil kind and doth not inflict extra damage ‘gainst their kind.”
“Ya say that, but ya sure made that barny devil vomit.”
“How pathetic”, Hebi-san sniffed. “We are unsure that foolish devil will be of much use.”
They have a point. I will have to clarify things with Femto. Perhaps if she keeps a certain distance she can handle it or...
“I am afraid, that will not be possible, Master Beta.”
Maria calmly exited the elevator and walked towards us.
Oh, I forgot. Things were going almost well for five minutes. Can’t have that.
“Cunt refused the match?”, Cassandra asked.
My maid shook her head. “She did not. However Miss Margaret stipulated some extra conditions in order to agree to the match.”
That sounds just fantastic. “What are her conditions?”
Maria nodded. “Her first condition was that no devil is allowed to partake in the match.”
“W-wait. How the hell did she figure out that I was planning to do that?”
“Oh, yeah how could the cunt possibly know that you are using one of the only few things that can harm her, Daddy?”, Cassandra sneered. “Cunt must be a fucking psychic.”
“Can we say yes and then simply summon her anyway?”, I asked.
Maria shock her head. “I am afraid, Miss Margaret demand this to be an official rule. Violating it will immediately end in your defeat via surrender.”
I figured as much. “What else?”
“Next, the match will be postponed from one in the afternoon to six in the evening.”
That was an odd request. But having a bit more time to prepare will be to my benefit as well.
“And finally...all your slaves must be given over to the custody of the **** Association before the match, to be handed over to Miss Margaret in the case of her victory.”
“No way”, I immediately declined. “I’m not agreeing to that.”
But my maid shook her head. “Master Beta, I am afraid these are the best conditions we will receive.”
“Then I officially demand she get disqualified”, I responded. “You said it yourself, changing into a Dark Lord is against the rules.”
But Maria merely smiled apologetically. “My apologies, Master Beta but...Miss Margaret claimed that she is not a Dark Lord.”
...what?
“What do you mean, she’s not a Dark Lord?”, I asked frustrated. “She clearly is!”
“Miss Margaret refused to elaborate, but claimed that if she were one, her body would have changed significantly.”
“I TOLD YOU SO!”, screamed my jester, followed by a loud smack and yelp.
“DON’T STOP JUGGLING!”
“This is ridiculous”, I shook my head. “Is the tournament just taking her at her word? She’s clearly lying! I won’t accept this!”
“Master Beta”, Maria interrupted me. “I am afraid time is not on our side.”
“What do you mean?”, I angrily asked. “Minerva herself wants to postpone the match. We have plenty of time until then!”
My maid elaborated. “The tournament association is currently in a state of mild panic and wishes this matter resolved as soon as possible. Some members of the board are already pushing to cancel the finale and pursue legal actions immediately. The longer this uncertainty persist…”
“Don’t give me that bullshit”, Cassandra snarled. “Tournament has millions of gold riding on that final. They never get that money back from Daddy, no matter how much they sue his ass.”
…
“They are coming for Nikkou, right?”, I asked and Maria nodded.
“Indeed. The legendary holy Blade Nikkou is of a worth that can not even be measured in Gold coins. Should the tournament association sue for it as compensation, the revenue loss would surely be acceptable.”
“’tis not acceptable”, Nikkou intervened. “I will not be wielded by fat, old men.”
“I doubt they care about wielding you”, Cassandra cooly responded. “Keeping you locked in a fancy case is probably all fine and dandy with them.”
I never thought I actually see an angry sword.
But that was one angry sword.
“Of course that goes for the rest of us too”, Cassandra continued. “We end up as **** for the association. Cunt’s probably planning to just purchase us that way.”
Well, to cut a long story short, Minerva was holding all the cards here and was fully intending to take advantage of that.
…
“Beatrice.”
Both the juggling ex-witch and her trainer stared in my direction.
“Is there a way to change me back to male without using the church?”
“Not a chance, you bouncy bunnygirl broad!”, barked the naked, juggling jester. “Some mage form Zeth could probably do it or maybe a Kalar, but none are close enough for us to consider this. You are stuck like this. Better get used to it, bleeeeehhhh!”
“Huh what a coincidence. So are you. Now back to juggling.”
“Ugggghhhh!!!!”
I looked at the rest of my girls. “What’s your take on this?”
“I’m for it”, Fisti nodded. “This way Lady Sylphid won’t have to give up her strength.”
“What’s there to decide? We don’t have a choice”, Cassandra downed her entire glass.
“Hmph, that Devil should not own your soul. We order you to win without her, foolish Mari Beta!”
“Hell yeah, I’m always for the way that adds more chicks to the party! Hehehe!”
“I don’t care! You stupid bunny bim….OUCH!”
“Unniiiiiiiiiii!!!!”
“That settles it then, my Lady!”, Sanakia certainly seemed not unsatisfied with this turn of events. “You will not have to rely on devilry! Wield the Holy Blade of Nikkou and vanquish the evil fiend!”
“Not exactly”, I argued. “Even if I can’t use Femto in the match I need the training in the voi...”
SLAP!
Hebi-san viciously slapped me across the face with her snake.
WHAT THE HELL!
“Foolish Mari Beta!”, she hissed. “Why waste your time with that wretched devil when you have a much superior method of getting stronger!”
...I have?
Instead of answering, Hebi-san merely pointed her snake towards our treasure chest full of loot.
The rare level up candy.
I completely forgot about that stuff.
But if I were to consume all of these I would gain powers I would never achieve through regular training.
It does feel pretty cheap thou…
SLAP!
Stop slapping me!
“Then cease your stalling and get to eating!”
“I fully believe you are capable of beating the fell fiend, my Lady!”, Sanakia gushed, while pilling all the candies up on one, very large, plate. “Now please dine on these succulent confectioneries!”
Well...
I better skip dinner.
