Champion.

"...He said 'Fight'... Right?" I asked.
"Right?"
"He didn't tell them to sit tight?"
"Right." Bat Girl concurred.
"Damn right!" I shrieked, "He sure didn't say 'gawk at each other like bewildered pigeons.'"
"Well, that's what they're doing, all right."

Far from the high-stakes clash of titans from different worlds everyone got psyched up for, not a single step had been taken in three minutes.
If that's all that was gonna happen for the entire match, we were in for one hell of a long hour.
The crescendo of cheers erupting at the start signal quickly died down, leaving the odd enthusiastic chant from the crowd. The contestants' inactivity outlasted them as well, leaving a silence to settle over the Stadium.

"So, what's going on?" I whispered towards Bat Girl.
"Well, Golden Boy is keeping his distance, cause he can skewer her like shishkebab from a mile away with that giant Lance." She explained, "And the Champion is keeping her distance, because... Actually, I'm not sure why. I thought she'd wanna close in as soon as possible. Capitalizing on her own speed and mobility to get past the tip."
"To be fair, I'm not sure bull-rushing him would go that well," I pointed out, "That Goldfish means business. Probably he'd cut her to ribbons the moment she tried anything that predictable."
"Sure," Estelle agreed, "But you know what would be better to do than nothing?"
"Is it doing anything?"
"Bingo! Anything's better than to just stare at him like a lovesick girl! All the meanwhile he just gets more comfortable in his defence. Or maybe he'll take the chance to try out an advanced technique that she's gonna have trouble countering" Bat Girl scoffed, "So basically, the best time to try and catch him behind his polearm was five minutes ago. The second best time is now."
That realization didn't seem to strike the Champion though. Or she didn't care.

I pulled out my cellphone to record a clip of this so called fight. Just in case it was one of those deals when they move faster than the human eye could keep up.
When I hit play, though, the video showed up, well... Exactly the same! Couldn't even tell whether or not I had actually turned on super slow-motion.
I had to double check.
Yep. The match really was progressing at a snail's pace.

That was all that the silence could stand, until it could stand no more. And snapped.
It started with a lone boo breaking through, followed by another. And another again. It escalated into a choir of jeering dissatisfaction. The audience yelled at the top of their lungs for the fighters to get on with it. And actually start fighting!
"Hang on..." I exclaimed, "Did we just waltz into a riot? Man, if I made it to the Finals after he kept pestering me about it, only to be trampled to **** at his match... I'll get so miffed!"
"Don't worry," Bat Girl smirked, "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you!"

The armor clanged as he stepped forward finally. If she wasn't coming to his Lance, then he'd better get his Lance to her.
But she stepped back in sync with his advance.
He moved even faster towards her. She matched his speed, refusing to let him close the distance. Sure moved fast for someone that buff.
Round and around in circles they went. Once he discovered he was practically chasing her like a runaway chicken, he decided such a thing was beneath him and promptly slowed down to a halt. She followed soon after.

He raised both arms high, moving towards her as if inviting her for a hug. Predictably that just made her inch backwards a matching number of steps. He turned away, meeting the audience with his hands in the air like he just don't care.
But she didn't care either. When that became abundantly clear, he gave the audience a defeated and perplexed shrug, lowering his arms to once again couch his lance.

"Feel free to attack me at your leisure," He tried sounding as encouraging as he could.
"Hang on," She scratched her head with the back of her axe, "You're waiting for me to attack? I thought you were gonna come at me!"
"You thought... But I have been coming at you! And you merely retreat!"
"...That's your idea of advancing?" She cocked her head, "...Listen, if you want a piece of this, then put your back into it! For fuck's sake! Stop playing around now and goddamn hit me!"
She tapped he knuckles against her chest for emphasis. That provoked another wave of boos and cheers from the audience.

The Goldfish sighed unimpressed, shaking his head, "Your words are hollow, milady. Your conduct betrays your fear. If you are the Champion you make yourself out to be, then test your steel against me any time. I will be patient. You cannot possibly evade combat forever."
She shrugged, "Can't see why not."
"...Are you for real?" His dumbfounded stare could be felt through the visor, "The bout will come to an end after an hour has passed! If neither of us have slain the other by then, neither of us will advance!"
"So?"
"What do you mean 'so?' You will accomplish nothing! Neither you or I will be afforded a chance at the Finals!"
"Don't see how that's my problem." She said sharply.
"You-- I beg your pardon?"
She shot him a contemptful gare, "Not like I haven't won the Tournament before. Four times over. Or was it five? Don't exactly need to prove anything. So, how about you? Bet you were real excited to win this match, huh? And how bad would you crash if I made you stand there and watch your chance for that slip between your fingers?"

...Oh, damn.
So she was banking on mind games this whole time!

A laughter echoed from inside his helmet, "That certainly is an entertaining thought. I must grant , you, at least you have a sense of humor. However, my sacred goal-- My dream-- Is not for you to step on. It is not what you are here for either. No. What would this accomplish? We will be left with but your tarnished reputation, and my broken dream. No doubt a plan like that, which relied on avoiding engagement, felt comforting before our match. Regardless of how outrageous. You were, after all, up against me. But your resolve will almost certainly wither once you realise the absurdity of these efforts. So let us clash blades, and..."

He approached again. And again, she slipped away.
Each step optimized the distance between them, while keeping herself from being cornered.

The Goldfish groaned, "Cease this! Your stalling is clearly in violation of the rules! We are here to fight! You are not fighting!"
"Ah, but who's to say this isn't my way to fight?"
"You are!" He pointed his lance at her accusingly, "You already conceded as much!"
"Hmmm? Oh, I did say that, didn't I?" She gave an aloof smirk, "Oh, well. Who's to say admitting to that isn't my way of fighting, hmm?"
He grunted angrily, advancing to her once more. And of course, she backed away.
"Enough! You can not possibly keep this up! Not for another, what? Fifty minutes? One way or another, my Holy Lance will pierce your chest!"
"That's what I've been fucking trying to tell you." Her words were slow and calm, yet scathing, "Do. Not. Hold... Back! Come at me with everything you've got! Listen, if you want a piece of me, you're gonna have to do more than flail your spear around like a feather-duster. I need you to really fucking hit me! Hard! Hard enough that it fucking hurts! Capisce?"

I'm so glad I got all of that on film.
"Now, that's how you go 'neenur neenur you can't catch me' like a pro!" I laughed.
"Yeah, it's hilarious! Can't really say that's quite her style though." Estelle pondered, "I mean, it's not like the rules say the most annoying little shithead wins."
"Hey, it's just as she said," I explained, "It's just her way of fighting!"
Estelle looked down at the warriors standing motionless like statues, "That's not like any fighting I've ever seen."
"You bet you keaster that this is fighting! And it's a type of fighting his little gold armor won't work against! His sacred mission is to make it to the finals to fight me. It's his purpose now. The very reason he exists. But before that, he gotta spit her ass on a spike. Or, to turn it around, her ass is now a treasured commodity. By controlling access to it, she controls the fight."
"Shit!" Estelle's sounded genuinely impressed, "You could do that? All along?"
"Yuh-huh! That's cause there's no point system in this Tournament. It's butcher or bust!"
"Well, duh!" She rolled her eyes, "I mean, count points as much as you want. The winner in a real battle is still gonna be the one who doesn't have an axe lodged in his skull!"
"Sure, but here's the thing; if there are only losers in a battle, then who is the least biggest loser gonna be? Cause the answer to that question will settle the match."

The crowd murmured in confusion and impatience, with the occasional heckler yelling for the Goldfish to attack with all his strength.
Which of course meant charge in recklessly without a plan. But surely his golden brain wasn't gonna fall for something like that.

He gripped his lance with both hands, charging towards her with reckless abandon.
Well, not that much reckless abandon, really. More like he stepped in, driving the lance with one hand while guiding it forward with the other in a lunging thrust. The shaft slid in his single-handed grip like a greased lightning, all the way to the butt end so as to make full use of its reach.

His lance sure sped up like a rocket with that lunge.
Still not fast enough for the Champion though. She caught the oncoming spear with her axe! Using it like a hook to trap it!
It looked like the Lance was dead sure to hit her core, but she dodged by turning to the side in time for the weapon to lunge past her, chopping an axe down upon it as it passed.

The loud screeching of metal rang out as she kept the weapons locked to one another, closing the distance fast.
When he realized his wish was finally coming true, and may be getting more than he bargained for, he quickly reached his shield towards mad axe-woman as she raised one of her axes over her head.
Instead of bashing against his shield, she dislodged the other axe from the polearm, flinging it towards his spear arm. It wasn't gonna be a heavy attack. More like a jab which happened to end at an axe-head. Yet any hit at that point could determine the course of the entire battle. He moved to intercept it with his shield while reeling back the Lance.
He blocked it. In the nick of time. Met it by the haft with an angry grunt, pushing it away. By this time he had recovered control over his lance. He raised it over his head like a gavel, thrusting it down at the Champion over and over as if playing whack-a-mole. Like that he chased her down in an attempt to skewer her like a wish.
But you know how this song and dance go. She bounced back in a zig-zag pattern, until she had leaped out of his reach.
Back to square zero.

I almost dropped my cellphone, "What the heck just happened? Did they turn into fireworks or something? What the heck was that supposed to be?"
You have to remember, these guys are like super-warriors! They move way faster than I can keep up with. Sure, these freaks might be used to fighting opponents that move faster than a plane, but from my perspective they each turned into a whirlwind of colors at the same time! Then some metallic clanking was heard. And just like that they switched places. Or at least, I think that's what happened. By the time I blinked, they were back exactly where they started.
From now on I'm just gonna tell you what I saw later on my phone after recording it. That's much more interesting, and much less repetitive, than if I keep telling you all about what I don't see.

Anyway, Estelle beamed at me from between my legs, "She got him!"
Oh...
I stared down at the screen back at the recording. No matter how many times I played it, I couldn't quite make out when it happened. Guess it's not just about being able to look. You also need to know what exactly to look for. But as it turns out, he only managed to block the haft. The axe-blade, though? Went right past the rim of the shield, smacking against his gauntlet.

I squealed, "Ah, so that was her game! Make him do dumb shit out of desperation that leaves him open!"
"You think so?" Bat Girl commented, "Not sure that's a winning strategy. I mean, that was fifteen minutes for just one tap.. Didn't even look like it did a whole lot of damage."
"Oh, sure! It didn't draw blood, or break bones. But damnit, if it didn't bruis his ego something awful!"
"Yeah... Don't think he's gonna let that happen again though. I mean, by now you'd think he'd have learned his lesson."
"Maybe he has... But forty-five minutes is a long time. There'll be plenty of opportunities for him to second guess himself. Now, let's not kid ourselves. For a guy like our Goldfish, this is ****. I don't even mean that as snide remark or anything like that. I mean the poor guy's likely eating himself up from the inside."
"Oh, I'm sure he is! This is the type of warrior who's least comfortable when out of combat. He's just always waiting for the next fight to start. Until then he remains vigilant. Alert. So for her to **** him into a position where he always has to wait an be ready... Yeah, **** is a great way to describe it. At least he's gotta be uncomfortable as all hell. But uncomfortable won't win her the match."
"Don't speak too soon!" I raised a finger, "Remember, the match also ends if he surrenders."

I don't need to tell you that after a slugfest of epic proportion, the audience erupted in wild cheers after something finally happening for the fist time. The thunderous applause died down soon enough, though, leaving the contestants in stare-off once again.
The Goldfish Knight retreated his lance back under his arm. He paced restlessly around his spot, kicking sand up with every step.
No doubt he was displeased with himself. He got careless. He let her score a hit before he could. To top it off, when she did approach, he reacted by holding the spear up in a properly scary way. As if chasing her off!
Even if the match were to end in a draw, everyone would know that the true winner was her.

No matter. He still had some tricks up his sleeve.
He kept advancing on her, only to have her escape further back. Like that, they ran around the Arena in a mad chase without him so much as getting an inch closer. Clearly she had the quicker feet. He had the option to outmaneuver her though, but guess who had the quicker head as well?
To no one's surprise, it turns out our Goldfish had difficulty learning.
Or did he?

Cause he randomly stopped pursuing her all of a sudden. Instead, he stabbed the spear in the ground, letting it rest like a flagpole. His free hand moved before him with an eerie calm I never could have imagined on the Goldfish. His golden finger pointed towards his heart, moving in a complex crossing pattern over his chest.
A golden aura enveloped him, "Vox dicentis: Clama. Et dixi: Quid clamabo... "

Oh, so the Goldfish Knight was magic too? I guess if you could learn magic in a world where it exists, then there's no reason not to. Makes you wonder why I haven't seen more magic stuff in the Tournament.
Hang on! That random stop... It wasn't random at all! I looked up at the sky. The sun... It was behind the Goldfish Knight! She wouldn't be able to see what he was doing!
Now, she probably had no trouble dodging away from him even so by focusing on his shadow, but if he had some options to attack from range then it'd be the perfect moment to use it!
"...Omnis caro foenum, et omnis gloria ejus quasi flos agri..."

Huh, maybe there is something inside that golden helmet of his after all.
Still, the Champion charged at him like a speeding train. Not like he could hide that he wasn't holding that massive spear anymore. Not even in the sunlightl
Now, don't get me wrong. Probably it was his plan all along to lure the Champion to engage him in close quarters. What he likely didn't plan though was what choice to make once she'd be on his case. Should he continue doing his magic? Or should he stop and grab his spear?
"...Exsiccatum est foenum, et cecidit flos, quia spiritus Domini sufflavit in eo. Vere foenum est populus..."
She got ever closer...

No way she'd let him finish that little magic ritual of his once she'd get up close and personal. He'd be in a real crappy position, unless he had his weapon. But then again, close combat hadn't worked out for him so far. What if she retreated once again, and he lost this chance?
If I was a betting girl, I'd wager she chose just the right moment to run at him to make it as difficult as possible to choose.
She came into spitting distance of him. She slung the axe behind her shoulder, ready to unleash hell.

"Exsiccatum est foenum, et cecidi... "
He reached for the Lance, ending his recitation as the light around him dimmed. He swung his weapon at the encroaching Champion, attempting to swat her away while moving his shield to meet her attack.
Her axe came crashing down.
Right on his elbow!
Once again she wound up one axe as a feint while unleashing the other under his guard. This time she intercepted his spear arm before it could gain momentum.
The crowd roared with thunderous applause. That was a clean hit! Clear as day!

He stepped back, shielding his core until he could recover. But there wasn't any need for that. She ran right past him without following up.
He kept jabbing at her with the Holy Lance, running after her. But to no avail. The sunlight concealed her from his sight, and soon enough she stood beyond his range.
Just as always.

With a furious roar he slammed his spear into the ground, spilling up sand at the tip.
"Why can you not fight normally? If you are that terrified of Jaivardhan's might, why enter the Arena at all!?"
"...You do know your shiny spear is scary insofar as it can actually hit me? In case you haven't noticed, I've already managed to land a hit on you. Twice. You, on the other hand, can't land a single blow. Everyone here can see clear as day there's nothing under that gold but hot air!"
The Stadium was filled with uproarious laughter.
"Silence! All of you! Why do you not see!? I was chosen to wield these sacred artefacts! These instruments for the spirit of mankind! That makes me exceptional! What else can it mean if she managed to hit me, if not that she relies on dirty tricks? That means absolutely nothing!"
"Yeah... Listen, Goldie... I think you got this backwards. I mean, you're going after the Dark Lord, right? Being the true blue Holy Knight that you are? So... What? You think he uses clean tricks or something? Now, if your little toys can't help you squat against the so-called dirty tricks of a mere mortal like me, how are you ever supposed to put up a fight against him?"
His heavy breathing echoed in his helmet. His armor rattled as he shuddered in anger.
She merely smiled, "If anything, that proves what a fake you really are. Just some random clout who had no idea what divine treasures he happened upon. Geez, why don't you just give them up already? Maybe to someone who actually is worthy to hold them."

I swear I could see his armor turn hot red.
For the first time since the match began, I actually believed he ran at her to kill her. But she merely bounced back until he came to a stop.
"You- You dare question my worthiness!? My- My identity!? I have lived every day of my life to be the Holy Knight I always aspired to be! Now take that back! At once!"
"All right." She shrugged, "I'll bite. Go ahead and transform then?"
"What are you blabbering about?"
"You know... The transformation. Your little pet did that earlier, didn't she? Seems like she became one with the Lance. Gotta say, that was pretty badass. Now, if you'd be able to do that, then yeah... I'd be impressed."
She folded her arms.
There he stood before her, speechless. Unable to utter a sound beyond his heavy panting.
Once it became clear he had nothing to add, she snorted, "Wait... You really can't do anything like that? Are you for real? You're telling me, you've actually got a Galmon pet who can wield the Holy Lance better than you? And somehow... Somehow you got the gall to lay a finger on it again! No. Not even you would be so deluded to do anything that pathetic."
She shook her head. The Stadium exploded in laughter.

...Did I hear something snap?
He raised his spear over his head, spinning it around like the blades of a helicopter.
"What's he doing now?" I asked.
"He's switching to an overarm grip." Estelle explained.
"Oh...?"
"It's for throwing."

Oh.
Oh! So that was her end game all along. Get him rattled enough to do something... Anything, for even a remote chance to see her hurt.
No matter how **** and stupid.
I've got a feeling she's got no hesitation whatsoever that she can block a single linear attack. Then the Holy Lance would be hers to use against his impenetrable defense. I'd imagine she'd grab it in the air, then run at him with feral charge with the Lance in hand, while it still dawned on him what a dumbnut he had been.

Her smirk widened as she beheld just how riled up he became, like an artist admiring her own masterpiece.
She readied her stance.
His Lance locked over his head while he slung his left foot forward. With laboured breaths, he stepped back for a running start. His spear reeled back like a javelin, he dashed towards her.
With each step, his armor rang like gold bells.
For the first time, she stood her ground with a bold grin. I could practically hear her say 'come to mama' in her mind.

And...
He slowed to a stop.
The tip of the Lance dropped to the ground. He still breathed heavily, but he seemed calmer now.
"...I do not know what business you have with my former retainer," He uttered, "But this is a match between me and you. Let us put that matter aside and resume our fight, shall we? I doubt neither of us have time for these distractions, so let us just make sure to have..."
I could hear his teeth gritting from within his helmet. This guy could outpace a bullet, wield a spear the size of a table as if it was a broom, and subvert the immaculate forces of cosmos with his command alone. But uttering this one word... That was something he struggled with.
Eventually he groaned in ****, and said it,"...Fun."

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WHAAAAAAAAA!?!?!?!?