Cleaning the employee toilets... with the other employee

"The boss put me in this monkey suit just to clean up piss in the bathroom?"

Zed shrugged. "It's brand new, so there won't be much to clean. I'm sure he's just being paranoid; he's got a... thing about dirt."

L'Abbee made a mental note never to let the boss find out where he slept. Begrudgingly, the elf put down the seemingly empty crate and started walking towards the bathroom. As he opened the door, Zed called to him one last time, "The cleaning supplies are already in the bath chamber. Cindy will show you what to do." L'Abbee just gave a lazy thumbs up and closed the door behind him. He knew very well how to mop floors and shovel shit, and he doubted he'd need some peasant girl to show him how to do it.

The employee bathroom wasn't hard to find, but that certainly wasn't because it was big. At the end of the hall, a door was left ajar to a room that couldn't have been bigger than a broom closet. L'Abbee had seen privies that were roughly that size before, but Zed had talked about it like it was some grand undertaking. The poor kid probably hadn't had to deal with real bad latrines, he supposed. L'Abbee shivered as he recalled the dwarven mining colony Patty had made him raid once; let's say sulfur, sweat and raw mutton did not smell like potpourri, especially coming out the other end of a gaggle of dwarves.

L'Abbee pushed open the door to get a better look at the privy. There were two seats with a wooden divider in between them, which seemed standard enough. However, he could tell from the stench that something was backing up the underground storage tunnel. Was that my job, today? L'Abbee shuddered at the image his mind conjured. There should at least be water to drain it, right?

As if in response, a grunting noise erupted out of the adjacent toilet. L'Abbee turned to look behind the divider and saw a pair of long, red horns sticking out of the hole. "Codswallop... son of a whore's rat... Asmodeus' arsehole..." An angry voice delivered a series of foreign swears in an accent unfamiliar to the dark elf. It was a woman's voice, he could tell that much, so he assumed this must be that "Cindy" that Zed mentioned.

"Um, do you need help?" L'Abbee ventured, nervously.

"Argh!" A sharp bang echoed as the pair of horns knocked against the edge of the hole. "Focking burnin' iron dildos!" A small pink hand reached over the edge of the hole, followed by a pair of bulgy arms and oversized head. A short demon-like woman stepped out of the toilet, her skin a bright pink to contrast her long black ponytail. She couldn't have been more than two feet tall, and her horns were nearly half as tall as that; so top-heavy that L'Abbee thought she could keel over at the slightest jostle. In contrast, her hands and feet were small and soft, like a baby human's. Most of her body had a soft plumpness to it, particularly her thighs and ass. Of course, this was only noticeable due to her skimpy attire; she was clad in nothing but a set of black, lace lingerie and a thin scarf draped over her front, like a banner one might find in a noble's castle. L'Abbee couldn't help but wonder if he'd been too conservative for all those years he was crossdressing; being half- or all-the-way-naked seemed to be the height of women's fashion these days.

"Gods' pale arse, if it ain't one sack of lizard dicks, it's another. What's a gal gotta focking do to get a normal living in this cockery kingdom?" L'Abbee had to hold back a snicker at the ridiculousness of the doll-like woman beside him cursing like a mountain troll. It was rather cute, to be honest, but he doubted she'd agree.

"Pardon, miss. Are you Cindy, perchance?"

"Too right, I am." She looked the dark elf up and down. "The boss got himself a proper twink, then? You a stripper or a private toy for the little man, eh?"

"I'm uh... here to clean the bathroom, actually." L'Abbee replied nervously, though now he was having his doubts.

The short woman scoffed. "Really? Seems like a bit of a waste of good dick, if you ask me." She smirked as she eyed his tight pants, which were about at her eye level. "That is, if the wrapping fits the gift and all that."

L'Abbee mentally groaned, suddenly feeling lucky that his own wife had any sort of filter whatsoever. "I'm sure that's an easy assumption for a succubus to make, but I'm not a hooker. Well, not here, anyway."

Cindy let out a low growl. "I ain't a godsdamn succubus, you semen-blooded cunt. I'm a demon, tits and all." A thin, whiplike tail swung out behind her, making a crack sound as it hit the floor.

"A full demon, eh?" L'Abbee made an exaggerated motion of looking downward. "I heard demons were supposed to be massive creatures, not smaller than a goblin." That wasn't quite true. The dark elf had heard of one species of diminutive demons who often found themselves on the surface: imps. The lowest of the low-ranking demons in the Eleven Hels, they were very often short, angry, horny, and none too bright. They made for very fun additions to nobles' orgies, but other than that, not a lot of people chose to spend time with them. Which begged the question what one of them was doing in a place like this.

Cindy's face blushed even pinker. "I swear on me mum and her five fucktoys, I'm a full-blooded demon. All the way from Hel. You wanna test me, gray boy?"

"Oh, no, perish the thought." L'Abbee chuckled. "Especially since you're my senior, and everything. I wouldn't want to make enemies on my first day."

Cindy smiled. "Of course you wouldn't. Maybe you do have a brain in that head 'a yours. And not the one down here, either."

"Of course. Now, if we could get to the business of what I need to be doing here."