Geared Down

“M-My Lord!”, Sanakia was gasping and blushing while (poorly) covering her eyes.

Lucky was giggling.

And Sylphid just gave me a thumbs up.

I was modeling(more like squirming) the utterly ridiculous Kyan-Kyan suit for my party.

“A snow Kyan-Kyan suit…”, Sylphid spoke reverently. “An item truly worthy of the classification “Ultra rare”. Handsome, you have no idea how blessed you are to be able to wear this.”

“S-shut it! Y-You think I want to wear this?”

In truth I would rather die then walk around in this outfit.

But thanks to “lay it bare” I am unable to put on anything else. It was either this or running around naked.

Although perhaps being nude would have been preferable.

“You look amazing, Handsome!”, Sylphid gushed as she circled me, making sure to get a very good look at every single inch of my outfit. “I love the way it accentuates your cute butt.”

“And that fluffy tail and the long ears are super adorable!”, added Lucky.

“I look ridiculous”, I growled while crossing my arms. “And I can’t even wear any shoes because of this stupid curse!”

“Eh, they would just ruin the look anyways”, Sylphid responded while poking my body at all manner of places. “Shame we didn’t find the stockings to complete the set. But your bare legs look sooo hot like this! Good thing you shaved yesterday. Hmm...I love a guy who can rock a Kyan Kyan suit. This is even better then having you naked!”

Ugh…why does this always happen to me? This was even worse then when I was **** into that Princess outfit!

“It is certainly a most debasing garment”, Sanakia agreed, peeking through her fingers at me every now and then. “B-But on the bright side, my Lord! The shame you are feeling from wearing this utterly humiliating and degrading attire will keep your body warmed up!”

Shame is not a proper conductor for retaining body heath!

“And think of the stat gains you get! +25 Evasion? That is absolutely crazy!”, Sylphid grinned while fondling my butt. “And all you need for this is to just flaunt your assets, Handsome. So lucky!”

“So me!”, Lucky agreed.

As much as I hate to admit, Sylphid actually brought up a non idiotic reason to wear this thing.

Evasion is one of the most highly sought after stats. Even my build, which is focused on speed and skill and thus had a natural inclination towards the stat only achieved an evasion of 9. This skimpy suit more then quintupled that. In terms of evasion I handily eclipse Sylphid now. And that’s not even getting into my other stat increases.

It was a tremendous boon to my combat power.

…

Let me make one thing very clear: I will NOT wear this to my fight against Minerva. I rather kill myself.

“So, fucking hot!”, Sylphid kept going on.

I inhaled deeply, trying to stomach my indignation. “Stop touching me.”

“Eeeeehhhh?”, Sylphid looked like I just rammed a sword through her chest as she was **** to stop her molestation. “But Handsome. If I don’t do this your other curse will flare up!”

Right.

Touch starved.

That one was even more of a nuisance then “Lay it bare.”

Out of sheer necessity we decided to test it. I have a perfect sense of time so I could determine that it takes exactly three minutes of not getting touched before the freeze ailment kicks in. That was a fairly generous grace period or perhaps perfidious would be the proper term. Three minutes was just long enough that you might miss the deadline.

Of course, in the end that also meant we still had to use an all cure to get me cured after all.

At any rate, it was obviously far more prudent to simply keep touching me at all times, which the girls had no problem with.

“I-I shall do the touching, then!”, Sanakia announced shoving Sylphid away and taking over on butt grabbing duty. “P-Please calm yourself, my Lord. We can get these curses cured in Rasheul Cathedral! Please bare with it a little bit longer!”

I would, if everyone wasn’t insisting on touching me on the most inappropriate places. Holding my hand should work just as fine!

“Everyone ready?”, Sylphid asked. “We know were the stairs are, so we can move right ahead to the next floor.”

Oh right.

Taking another deep breath I attempted yet again to explain to my idiot team why this whole expedition was doomed but Sylphid interrupted me.

“Handsome”, she started “Think about it. Regardless if we end up finding Nikkou or not, we got this amazing gear out of this expedition. You essentially doubled in power in the blink of an eye! A haul like this would normally be unthinkable!”

“Yeah, but...”

“And it is all thanks to Lucky, “Sylphid continued. “Don’t you think we should make the most out of this opportunity?”

“Even if you say that...”

Sylphid paused, casting her eyes downwards. “Valk...when I think about her...the suffering she has to endure this very moment...I...I want to do everything I can to increase your chances of winning even a little bit.”

...

Shit.

I completely lost sight on what’s at stake here.

What am I even thinking whining about having to wear some stupid costume? This is nothing compared to what Valkyrie has to go through at the hands of that monster.

We still have time until midnight. Until then, I have to increase my chances at victory as much as possible.

“You’re right, Sylphid”, I nodded determined. “Let’s go, everyone.”

Sylphid looked at me and then suddenly squealed. “You are sooo cute when you try to act all serious while looking like that!”, The martial artist nodded happily and gave me a sharp slap on the butt. “Let’s head to the next floor then, bunny boy. Hop to it!”

…

Why do I feel like I just got duped?

…

..

.

Leaving our cabin, any hope that the blizzard may have slowed were quickly dashed. The storm was just as vicious as before.

However, despite being dressed so skimpily and with my bare feet touching the snow, the cold didn’t affect me in the slightest.

That was of course the effect of the “cold immunity” blessing.

But that wasn’t all. My entire body felt bursting with strength and vigor. I also felt sharper, my mind operating on a level significantly faster then I was accustomed to.

The difference was insane actually. Easily beyond what my void training with Femto achieved.

That was the boon of Pervert Power.

I was right now, more powerful then I ever was in my life.

All because I was prancing around in a sexy Kyan-Kyan suit.

The less I think about it the better.

…

..

.

Thanks to the floor map, finding the stairs to the next floor was almost offensively easy. Although, calling these stairs would be offensive to stairs. What greeted us on top of a huge ravine was a slope made of ice, that precariously spiraled down in the darkness below.

“Are you sure this is the right place?”, I asked while peering down in the dark abyss.

“Yep”, Sylphid nodded eagerly. “We call ‘em stairs but moving from floor to floor is often done via a bit more of a...funky method.”

If I don’t have the hear that word ever again it will be too soon.

“It does not appear these stairs have any guardrails”, Sanakia remarked in a rare occurrence of caution. “What would befell us if we were to drop down the sides?”

“Eh, it will be fine”, Sylphid grinned confidently. “Nobody ever dies in here, remember? Besides Floor transitions are usually completely safe actions. This is probably totally safe!”

I’m amazed someone can look this confident while using the words Usually and Probably.

I carefully put a foot on the icy, smooth surface. Sure enough this was slippery like crazy. Fortunately, we have a lot of rope in our bags. If we properly secure ourselves and slowly descend it should be possible to...

“Weeeeeee!”

Lucky had jumped on the slope.

And was sliding it down like a slide.

Headfirst.

“YOU ABSOLUTE LUNATIC! HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY MAD?”

“Alright here goes nothing!”

KICK!

Without warning Sylphid kicked me on the slope.

“UAAAARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

The slope was twisting and turning and there were even branching paths. I desperately attempted to retain some semblance of control and not fall of the sides. Regardless of **** Penalty or not that would be pretty bad!

Right! My dirks!

It took quite a few tries but I finally managed to finger out my dirks and pierced them into the icy slope with all my might. Cold sparks hit me in the face as my descend slowed with a loud screech.

Using my second dirk did the trick and I came to a complete stop.

Phew. Now all I need to do is reorient myself and...

“My Looooord. I save you!”

Sanakia slammed into me butt first and send the both of us spiraling down into the darkness.

The last thing I remembered was bonking my head at something before losing consciousness.

…

..

.

“M...ord

“My Lord.”

“MY LORD!”

“u...nggghh...”

I slowly regained my senses and already felt the onset of a very nasty headache coming. Taking stock of my immediate situation, I noticed that my head was resting on Sanakia’s lap. The Galmon gently cradled me.

“Urgh...Sanakia. What...happened?”, I grunted painfully, as my mind slowly pierced itself back together.

“My Looooooord!”, Sanakia immediately hugged me. “I thought you periiiiished! Please never do something so reckless again!”

…

Among a sociopathic witch, a ruthless slaver, my childhood friend/bully, a literal Devil, Sylphid and a girl that could quite possibly bring the end of civilization as we know it.

Why is it that I feel Sanakia might be the most dangerous of them all?

Sanakia didn’t have an answer for this either. So, I decided to ignore questions that are impossible to answer and have a look around instead.

Wherever we ended up, it looked considerably less grandiose then last floor. Gone was the massive wintry landscape, replaced with what appeared to be a fairly generic white room.

...

Was this floor 41?

The next thing I noticed was the fact Sylphid and Lucky were not with us. A quick inquiry with Sanakia confirmed that they never landed here.

To say this was bad would be an understatement. Sylphid also has the returnwoods and the rest of our items for that matter. Without them we are stuck here.

Taking a deep breath to collect myself, I slowly raised myself off Sanakia’s lap. The Galmon quickly reached for my hand. I suppose this was better then the butt.

“How long was I out?”

“About ten minutes, my Lord. Give or take.”, Sanakia responded, looking not very sure. “It is difficult to gauge the passing of time in here.”

I see. Well, I suppose that could have been worse. I touched my head, checking for any kind of injury, but apparently I got lucky and only ended up with a massive, splitting headache as well as some bruises.

Sanakia appeared to be fine too although she seemed to have lost her sword and shield during the slide.

My Dirks for that matter did not survive the ordeal either.

That was hardly ideal. Without weapons we are pretty much defenseless. My stamina was starting to get rather low too.

But standing around certainly won’t make things better. I decided to first investigate this room.

Not that there was much to investigate. The square, white room we found ourselves in had absolutely nothing of note. No furniture and certainly no supplies. The flooring consisted of a soft, fur like material that no doubt contributed a great deal in us surviving this slide without injuries. The room was well lit but I couldn’t deduce from were the light was coming from.

The only mildly interesting thing about it were the hole in the ceiling from which we presumably dropped in and one single door.

Suffice to say, trying to climb back up there would be a hopeless endeavor.

Buff Spell: Double Treasure rate!

I never felt so relieved to have the nasty black smoke invade me. That meant Sylphid and Lucky are on the same floor. And up to their old shenanigans. Should we just wait here until they find us?

No, given my luck who knows with what curses I end up with if these lunatics keep opening chests?

Besides this room has only an exit, so it’s not like we could miss each other.

Said exit was a classic wooden door and looked so absurdly simple that I was wondering if there was a trap to it.

I ordered Sanakia to be at the ready, then carefully opened the door to...another white room.

Whoever designed this floor must have had a very uncreative day.

This one looked almost identically to the last room. Medium sized, square room with two wooden doors on the opposite side from which we entered. No hole in the ceiling though.

Well, there was one, very obvious, difference.

A treasure chest sat smack dab in the middle of the room.

“My Lord!” Sanakia shouted excited and pointed. “A treasure chest!”

I can see that.

“Perhaps the Holy Blady Nikkou is in there?”

I VERY MUCH DOUBT THAT!

I grabbed Sanakia by the scruff of her neck and pulled her back as she was trying to run at the chest like an overexcited Doggie. Seriously, I need a harness for this girl. “We are not opening any treasure chests”, I stated firmly.

“But my Looord!”, Sanakia whined, also like a Doggie. “It’s contents might help us on our journey!”

“And what if it’s trapped? Or I end up with another curse?”

“But what if it isn’t?”

Sanakia definitely belonged to the type of adventurer that can not leave a chest unmolested. Luckily, I was of a calmer mind and will not engage in such reckless...

Curse: Gullible

(cursed subject is very open to suggestions and prefers to follow orders.)

…

Excuse me, what the fuck?

Who designed this dungeon and where do they live?

I could almost see the gears in the Sexy-Knight’s head turning.

“My Loooord”, the Galmon was smiling at me. “Please listen to me.”

Ugh…

“You are right now suffering from many curses…”She was gently massaging the palm of my hand. “Your decision making is currently drastically impaired, which is why you should let me take charge for a bit until you feel better.”

I wanted to refuse. In the back of my mind a voice was screaming at me. But that voice was overpowered with the overwhelming urge to agree with Sanakia.

“Just do what I say”, she further nudged. “It is for your own good.”

“Y-yes”, I finally relented. Regardless of this curse or not, she wasn’t wrong. It was certainly true that I was not in a great state of mind right now.

Sanakia nodded. “A most wise decision, my Lord! Now since you have that treasure rate Buff it would be most economical for you to open the chest.” She gave me an encouraging pat on the butt. “This will no doubt be most beneficial to you!”

That was true as well. After all, if I open the chest we will get eight items out of it. It’s also the very first chest of this floor. If I were a dungeon designer I wouldn’t trap the very first chest. I mean that’s just rude.

Let’s see what we find in there.

I opened the chest.

And was immediately hit with a sleep spell trap.