It's Almost Enough To Make You Feel Sorry For Him

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"You didn't say that... when..." he tries weakly to shoot a reply back, ready to fight until he realizes that no one is listening to him.

Rachel meanwhile walks up to Eddie and I, slipping onto the far side of Eddie and locking her arm in his.

"Come on," she says, leaning in to bump him and whisper quiet enough that only they and I can hear, "I think the tour is about to start. Maybe we can joke about all the stupid crap that Kim is going to tell us and you can point out all that interesting architecture to me?"

Eddie, clearly overcome by how much his luck has turned, smiles dumbly and blinks, "Yeah, I'd like that."

They take a half step before Rachel notices me and stops them, "Come on, Emily. You're more than welcome too."

"Yeah," Eddie grins, "Come on. Let's go."

I've been the third wheel before, enough to recognize when a polite invitation is nothing more than that. And while I'm sure they wouldn't fault me going along with them I still didn't want to do it.

I didn't think that Rachel and Eddie had the start of something beautiful blossoming here. I was, in fact, relatively sure that Rachel chose Eddie at least partly if not mostly to further punish Blake. And their budding romance, if you could even call it that, would be able to survive me tagging along for the first little bit.

But I didn't want to.

I got this feeling in my gut that the two of them needed to work out whatever was going on between the two of them and that they'd need to be... they'd need space to do that. Me being there might not end things, but it might delay them. A speedbump on the road to a better ever after.

A new chance. A second chance. For them.

"I'm good," I wave them off, then give a shrug, "Not a big fan of architecture, though I won't judge so please spare me the dressing down."

"Never darling," Rachel sing songs and swings Eddie away, the two of them starting up their conversation that wavers and fades the further they get from me.

"Alright," boy-Kim claps out, drawing all of our attention, "That's break. Hope you all had a great lunch. Now, hopefully, on to an even better tour!"

We all stifle our collective moans, or at least mostly.

I drift closer to the group but still try to stay near the edges. Getting caught in the middle of the crowd has no real appeal for me, mostly because I've always found the most you can feel alone is when you're in the midst of a crowd.

Like on my birthday, the day that started all of this. When I was sitting in that bar nursing one single drink while across the way a whole party was breaking out. That girl, the birthday girl, at the center of it all in a wholly different way.

What would I have done differently? I mean consider for a second that it hadn't been that version of me. That it was me, but with a new perspective.

This me, but in that time.

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