Thinking About Things

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"Swapped Into The Girl" is a story of two body swapped best friends who just might become more!

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Thank you and I hope you're enjoying Chapter Nine of My Second Chance!

As if, while I watched boy-Kim give his clearly very practiced speech, I travel back through whatever brought me here and I'm in my old body, my old time, my old life once more.

I'm not there. I'm not even feeling like I'm there. Instead I'm staring at boy-Kim as he waxes on about the square we're in but while everyone else is wondering whether he did this before we broke for lunch I'm instead pretending that I'm back there in that bar, looking through the mirror at the birthday girl once again.

This time I don't sit there nursing my drink. I grasp it with one hand and drain it with one gulp and I stand on unsteady feet, reaching into my back pocket to withdraw my wallet and scattering a few bills on the bartop to pay for my drink. Before turning and wobbling across the room over to her, wavering through the thick crowd until I'm standing beside the table and looking down at her.

She's surrounded by friends and she's so happy. All of them engrossed in conversation but for the moment she's just enjoying the moment. A little quiet in the middle of it all and when I approach she looks up slowly, her smile freezing a little before she cocks her head to one side and lowers her eyebrows in an unspoken question.

What do I do and what do I say. For the moment it's just us and my tongue feels thick and unwieldy in my mouth, my heart pounding in my chest. And then I remember a simple thing, something that gets me through.

It doesn't matter.

It does, don't get me wrong. What you say matters and who you say it to has an effect beyond you. Butterflies and hurricanes and all of that, and if there is anything I've learned it's that little things make all the difference. Because right now in this new version of my life I have seen clear evidence that just the presence of me in a different body, in a different gender, can create a whole different result.

So what I mean by it doesn't matter is more that I lose nothing by taking the chance. The very worst that can happen is that she decides she's not interested, and I wind up no worse off than I was before. Because not taking a shot has the same result as failing, and you never know what you're going to miss until you've tried it.

"I just wanted to say Happy Birthday," I smile at her, trying for as kind a look as I can.

"Oh," she says, a little surprised that it's as simple as all that, "Thank you."

I give a shrug, "You're welcome. It's really nothing."

"No it's not," she smiles back, slowly and knowingly, "It can make all the difference."

"Yeah I know," and after I say it I get a little bashful, glancing a little awkwardly down and then acknowledging the elephant in the room that only I can see, "This might be a bit weird to say, but it's such a coincidence that I can't help but... The truth is that it's my birthday too."

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