vs. Seductress Tanja

Day 2 of The 129th Rasheul Great **** Tournament
09:57 AM

My Lord, my Lord, my Lord, my Lord!
Good Lord!

I feel bad for that girl. Really, I do. But that incessant prattling about Goldfish Knight-senpai and her unhealthy crush on him could not have ended soon enough!
Let's leave Bird Brain to the Fake Assassin, and all other Hardy Boys and Girls of the A-bracket, shall we?

This story is about the C-Bracket. And in the C-Bracket they were just done settling who would be my opponent tomorrow. Should I win my next match, I mean.

No. It wasn't Evil Evans.
Unfortunately.
I'd love nothing more than to get my grubby hands on a spectacular douche like him, letting him pay back all the deplorable little things he's done to the other woman. With interest. Under the reign of my hips.
Alas, that was not to be. Which isn't to say he didn't get a lesson from the gal who ended up beating him. Yup. The one I'm gonna face tomorrow is none other than Estelle Bright!
Bold. Strong. Confident. And doesn't take no smack from nobody.
In other circumstances, the both of us would've been exceptional friends. But as it turns out, fate has conspired to have us bludgeon each other to an inch of our lives with baseball bats.
Should I win my next match, of course.

My next match was waiting just behind the corner. I was facing the Seductress who so haphazardly claimed her previous victim as her property.
The smoke across the arena lifted. And there she was. Standing seductively yet boldly with hands resting on hips, offering an enticing smirk towards me.
If Jessica Rabbit and Betty Boop had a baby... Well, then something exquisitely crazy and fun must've happened, and everyone on the Internet must be devastated for having missed it.
But that demoness looked like shared the most alluring traits from both characters.

Or so I'd assume. Honestly, I was busy fiddling around with my phone.

"Mmmmm, oh, have I been looking forward to this, my darlin'?" She started, tossing her long, black hair over her shoulder, "Mmmm, simply the prospect of gathering such a specimen in my collection... Why, that would be the very blah blah blah blah blah..."

That might not be exactly what she said... But yeah, I think I got the gist of it.
"Mmmhmm... Mhmm..." I reassured her.
"Hey..." She snapped her fingers, "Are you even listening, darlin'? Put that... Thing away."
"One moment... " I clarified without gazing up from my phone, "This is important."
"Mmmmmm... Such utter disrespect... This moment is meant for pre-match banter, and yet... Mmmmm, once I get you in my clutches, then the first thing I will do is..."

FIGHT!

That was the signal.
I pressed my thumb on the 'launch' tab for the satellite control app I programmed last night, and the coordinates I input just then were sent to the ether.
A pillar of bright red light extended from beyond the sky, entered through the barrier and struck only a foot away from Tanja. Sparks flew like popcorn from a white hot blistering pool of sand where it landed. The beam swept through the space of the temptress. It popped her like a piñata full of bacon before she could even so much as utter a vowel.
The way I recall it, she became bloated like a balloon just a moment before exploding. I know that couldn't have been what happened, but that image is so vivid in my head now that since I've convinced myself it's what happened, I can't unconvince myself anymore!
Nothing remained before me except chunks of smoldering Tanja sprinkled over half the Arena, and a trail of shimmering glass leading up to the wisp of smoke rising from where she once stood.

Hah! She thought she was hot stuff?
Well, apparently not as hot as an orbital laser!
Sure, guys around these parts might be strong enough and fast enough to give your friendly neighborhood gunslinger his money's worth. But nothing is faster than light! Not even light!
Which means by the time they understood there was something to dodge, they'd already been hit!
This fight was a shoe-in!

But Allison, you might ask, weren't you going to rescue that Twisted Sister?
Well, I thought about it... But nah.
The thing is... I don't want any slaves! That'd make me a ****-owner. I don't wanna be a ****-owner, so I won't try and collect any slaves. And that's all there is to it!
Yeah... I was making that way harder than it had to be.

Now, do I feel bad about Twisted Sister?
Sure I do! Here's the thing though; these contestants are banking on you withholding your sure-kill weapons in order to, for one reason or another, try and claim them as your ****. That'll give them a chance to turn the table on you, and before you know it... WHAM! You'll be the one held by Tanja on a leash!
Part of the game is playing on your sentimentalities. They're trying to exploit your sense of empathy.
Don't let them do that.

I sure won't!

As the minced meat coalesced from across the arena, assembling themselves back into the demoness, I looked triumphantly towards the audience to meet their cheers.
But oddly enough no cheers were coming my way. In fact, they seemed to have tossed themselves to the floor, peering out like how a kid would check for monsters under their bed.
Huh... I suppose I ended that fight way too quickly...

Oh well. What's done is done. And I did it sweet, quick and painless.

"Allison the Genius Inventor is victorious! " Ben's voice boomed throughout the arena.

And... The next thing I knew I was back at the office with Loathsome McBoredom... Oh, lovely.
I sighed, falling on to the chair before his desk, "All right, buddy. Let's get this over with. Geez... Way to make the prospect of losing look exciting..."
"Just... One moment first, Miss Allison. There are a few details I need to clarify with you before we proceed."
"All right... Shoot."
He adjusted his glasses and looked straight at me, "You attacked from outside the Arena."
"Uh huh." I confirmed.
"You.. Attacked... From outside the Arena...!"
I shrugged, "I mean... Yeah. Of course! There's no rules against that! I looked it up!"
"Yes." He cleared his throat, "I am aware there are no rules against that. That is no overisght."
"Okay?" I cocked my head, "So then you're throwing a hissy fit about this... Why exactly?"
"Because," He took a deep breath, "The reason no such rules exist... Is because there is not supposed to be any need for them. That is what the barrier is for. The barrier is meant to block out stray attacks, and protect against outside interference."
"Yeah, well... It's hardly outside interference in this case! It was my orbital laser! I launched it out into space last night and everything! And it was I who activated it, so... "
"More importantly," He continued, rearranging his glasses, "It is meant to protect the audience from the replete destruction common in these fights."
"Hey!" I exclaimed, "What're you implying here? That I can't aim my own space weapon?" Now granted, there were a couple of incidents like that back on Earth... But only like twelve. And he doesn't need to know that.

"I am saying, Miss Allison," He spat out, "That the audience is our responsibility. If anything was to happen with them while in our care, then it will be our head on a spike. And I wish to make it abundantly clear that we prioritize their safety above all. Even our contestants."
"Now, that's just not fair!" I shrieked, "Who were the ones insisting on restricting what I could bring? Why, that was you guys! Most people around here? They can just go in there and... Do what they can do! But me? I need my weapons and equipment to shine! And yet I'm expected to restrict myself to them measly teleportation pods! So... I played along with your dumb little rules. Thought outside the box.... And found a way around your restrictions and towards victory! And now you're giving me the business because of that? Geez, all of this makes so much sense!"
The office clerk groaned, taking his glasses off and rubbing the ridge of his nose, "Very well... I see your point. We will get bigger pods for you. Just... Tell us how you managed to get your... Your weapon to fire through the barrier."
"Oh... Well, you can see through the barrier, right?"
"See... through...?"
"Yeah! It's translucent! It's see-through! Transparent! It's not opaque! The audience can see past it... And I can see past it towards the audience as well!"
"I know what see through is, Miss Allison. What does that have to do with anything?"
"Cause it means that light passes through! Duh! It might be able to block the most powerful magic, and any kind of artillery rounds. But a flashlight? That shines right through! And so does a concentrated beam of light... Like a laser!"
"I.... Hmm..." He rested his chin on his palm, looking away.

Heh. That bozo likely has seen the barrier tank a dozen light magic spells in his career... But that's no problem since that's magic! It's sort of how that Hebi-San gal has magic resistance, so she can tank fire spells but not fire.
"We will certainly tend to this issue shortly. I will contact our resident mage and see what can be accomplished. And... We shall take a look at those teleportation pods. Are you happy, Miss Allison?"
"Ecstatic." I said, leaping off my chair, "Well, this has all been a pleasure. Best of luck to you for administering the Tournament and whatnot!"
I waved towards him and bolted for the door.

Another day, another victory for science!
That laser trick's apparently not gonna work again though. And my next opponent is gonna be none other than Estelle Bright. She could probably take on an entire army by herself! With all the science and technology at my disposal, is there any way I can match her big stick?
I dunno! But I'm looking forward to finding out! This is it, ladies and gentlemen! The ultimate clash of brain vs brawn!
Tomorrow it's going to be settled once and for all!

"Just a moment, Miss Allison." The office clerk said, making me freeze up as I reached for the doorknob, "We still have to go over the paperwork for your victory, remember?"
"Oh, come on!"