Lord, its a real mother for ya yeah

Nick looked like he was going to die of embarrassment.

“Neither!” He shouted. “The answer is neither!” At this point, he didn’t even care if Dakota gassed him with aphrodisiacs for giving away the answer.

Nola pouted. “That’s not how this works!” She snapped. “You have to pick one! So think about it! Think really, really hard, and figure out who you would rather sleep with! And Marley, you do the same, okay? This is supposed to be a hard question!”

“I was okay with the first questions, but this is going a little too far!” Marley replied, her face red as a rose. “There’s embarrassing, but then there’s… whatever this is!”

She shook her head. She wished she could do a protest vote of some kind, but as Nola had just made abundantly clear, she didn’t have the right to “turn down” the question.

She needed to give an answer.

So either Nick wants to sleep with his stepmother… or he wants to sleep with Sylvia? He wants one of them more than the other, and I… I have to figure it out?! Marley scooted away from Nick as best she could on the tight box. It was just so embarrassing, sitting here next to him, languishing in her thoughts about who he wanted to have sex with. It wasn’t like she was some chaste version who couldn’t think about sex, of course, but…

…

So what? She teased him a bit. But when it came to the matter of Nick and Sylvia… her mother… then that, that was…

Aargh! What a dumb question! I don’t want to think about that! Marley wailed internally. It was one thing to think about Nick having sex with her sister; Carly was Carly. But when it came to Sylvia, it was just different somehow!

“Hey, Marley…”

She felt Nick’s hand over hers, and gasped.

“N-Nick?” She stammered, turning to him with wide eyes. She hadn’t expected him to reach out to her like that. “What’s up? Are… have you finished your answer?”

“No, it’s not about that,” Nick said, shaking his head. “I’m just worried about you, Marley. You seem like you’re really bothered by something. Would you like to talk about it?”

“Better not, if it’s about the question,” Nola warned, glancing warily around the room. She was looking for somewhere to hide in case the aphrodisiacs came out to play.

“It’s just… I was thinking about Sylvia,” Marley admitted. “And about how much I didn’t WANT to be thinking about her, that’s all. I mean, she… she’s my mom. And thinking about your mom in a sexual context is…”

Marley’s voice trailed off as she looked at the tension spreading across Nick’s face.

“…Oh. Right…” She hadn’t even thought about that. Marley winced. “Sorry, Nick. But it’s just not something I’m used to, you know? What’s the matter with me? I can think about my sister in the context of sex all the time, but when it comes to a woman who was literally created to be the host of a sex show, that’s a step too far? Unless…”

A dark thought passed Marley’s mind, and she leapt to her feet. Her whiteboard clattered to the floor.

“Dakota!” She shouted, grabbing her walkie-talkie. “Let me out of here! I’m done! You can take your stupid reward and shove it, okay!?”

“Marley!?” Nick exclaimed.

“Wh-what’s going on!?” Nola’s head swam with confusion.

“I don’t want to be doing this anymore!” Marley shouted. “Just throw me in bed with him and make us screw, if that’s what gets your rocks off, bitch! But I’m done!”

“If you want out, then solve the puzzles.” Dakota’s voice crackled in Marley’s ear. “But don’t think you’ll get anywhere by running away from your issues.”

Marley stiffened like a board.

“That… that’s…” She stammered, clutching the walkie-talkie so hard her fingers turned white.

“Marley, what’s the matter?” Nick asked gently.

And then, to his horror, he saw tears start to well up in the corners of her eyes.

“I… I…”

Nick wasn’t having any of this. He grabbed the walkie-talkie from her hands and pressed the button. “Dakota, it’s me. Don’t do this. She wants to go, so just let her out! What’s the point of all this if you’re just going to make her cry? Even at your lowest, I don’t think you would want that from her! Come on here!”

Dakota was silent for a long time.

“…I’m not the one you need to be talking to right now,” she finally answered, and the walkie-talkie went silent once more.

Nick winced.

Then, he felt Marley’s fingers tug on his sleeve.

He turned to look at her, and gasped. She seemed so… delicate.

“Marley…”

“It’s not Dakota’s fault… and she’s right,” Marley said, shaking her head and wiping the tears from her eyes. “I was running. I had a bad thought, and then… I wanted to run. But that was stupid of me. I should have just come out with it.”

“What do you mean?” Nick asked.

“I was afraid… I thought, that the reason I didn’t want to think about Sylvia sexually, but was okay with thinking about Carly sexually… was because on some level, I still think of Sylvia as my mother, but I don’t think of Carly as my sister.”

Nick didn’t even know what to say to that.

“I mean, how twisted, right?” Marley groaned. “It… it’s Carly! She’s my sister, of course she is! But if I’m not bothered thinking about her having sex with people, the way that I was freaking out about my mom, then… am I just messed up?”

She looked pitifully up at Nick, pleading with him with her eyes to say something to reassure her.

Nick wanted to, he really did. But he was drawing a blank.

Finally, he took a deep breath, and then exhaled.

“Marley… I don’t think your problem is as big as you’re acting like it is,” Nick admitted.

Marley definitely didn’t expect THAT. Her mouth dropped open and she stared at him in shock.

“What!?”

“She’s your sister, Marley. And like it or not, the two of you have already been involved in a few situations like that,” Nick pointed out. “So it makes sense that your feelings on the matter would be a little distorted. But… that doesn’t mean that your memories of Carly aren’t just as real as the time you spent with Sylvia, or that she’s not really your sister.”

Marley’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “Th-that’s-!”

Nick had dug into the heart of the matter before Marley had even brought it up. Because, at the core, that was what this was all about, wasn’t it?

Marley looked down somberly. “…You’re right,” she admitted. “That’s what I was worried about. I was afraid that… since it was me… since I was… since I felt differently about the two of them… Look, Nick, no matter what you say, it’s still a fact that my ‘real’ memories are the ones I shared with Sylvia. Everything else… all that was made up by the magic of the show. It’s not real. Carly… she’s my sister, but… is she really my sister? Aren’t I just… playing impostor in someone else’s life?”

Admitting to those things felt like digging out her heart with an open knife. Marley was on the verge of tears again. She’d been trying hard not to face those feelings, but this stupid game show had dragged them out before she even realized it.

Even Nola looked positively morose. “I… I just thought it would be a funny question,” she mumbled, looking down at the cards. “I didn’t expect this…”

Nick didn’t know if there was anything he could say to make Marley feel better or assuage her doubts. But he still wanted to try.

“Marley, can I share something with you?” He asked quietly.

Marley blinked away her tears. “Uh… okay, what?”

“If I’m being honest… I’ve always felt a bit of a connection to you,” he admitted. “This isn’t about when we were back at the university, either, or your implanted memories, I’m talking about when you first transformed from Mimi.”

“R-really?” Marley stared at him with curious hope and suspicion. “What… what about it?”

Nick bit his lip.

“You… we have something in common, you and I,” he said softly. “We both… we have two mothers. Right?”

Marley’s eyes widened. “That… yeah, I guess… when you put it that way…”

Nick’s birth mother was still a part of him, even if he could hardly remember her. And there was Amelia, too. Both women were mothers to him. “When I think about my mom… my dad’s first wife… and when I think about Amelia… I think of them both as mothers to me. But isn’t that kind of the same thing with you?”

Marley swallowed and nodded. Sylvia wasn’t the only woman who Marley considered her mother. No… there was also Carly’s mother. Her mother. The woman who had given birth to her in this twisted reality that had been created through the power of Sylvia’s magic.

“Mom…” She whispered.

“So now, think about it like this,” Nick urged. “You don’t like thinking about Sylvia in a sexual context, right? Well… what about your other mother? Can you think about her that way?”

Marley’s face scrunched up and she turned red. “Ew!” She exclaimed. “Nick, that’s just gross!”

Nick blinked. “…Really? Why would it be gross, if she’s not really your mother? I mean, Carly’s not really your sister, right? So it shouldn’t be any different, thinking about her in a sexual context the same way, right?”

“Of course it’s different!” Marley exclaimed. “It’s different, because… because…”

Her voice trailed off and her eyes widened. Then she scowled and lightly jabbed him in the arm. “You’re a jerk, you know that?”

“Hey, I’m just saying,” Nick said, holding up his hands in surrender. “If you can’t think of either one of your moms in a sexual context, then doesn’t that mean it has nothing to do with which one of your pasts is ‘real’ then? Isn’t it maybe just that Carly is an anomaly, because she’s Carly, and you’ve gotten used to it by this point?”

“I’m not talking to you, you’re gross,” Marley pouted like a child, turning up her nose and shifting in her seat to face away from him.

But the smile on her face betrayed her real feelings on the matter, much to Nick’s relief.

“…You’re right,” she finally admitted, turning back to him and wiping the tears from her eyes. “I really did get too caught up in my head there… of course they’re both real. It doesn’t matter that I was ‘really’ raised by Sylvia… my other mom’s really my mom, too. And Carly’s really my sister. I’m sorry for worrying you, Nick… I just got a little caught up in myself.”

She raised her head and turned to look at Nola, who was shifting uncomfortably behind her podium and trying to look very small.

“It’s okay, I’m doing better now,” she assured the leprechaun. “Thanks.”

Nola blinked. “Thanks? Thanks for what?”

“And thank you, too, Dakota,” Marley said, grabbing the walkie-talkie back from Nick. “If it wasn’t for that question, I might not have even realized those worries were eating away at me. But now I’m seeing things clearly now.”

“…Do you realize how twisted it is, to thank me for something like that?” Dakota asked, her voice unusually somber.

“…Maybe so,” Marley admitted with a shrug. “But still. Thank you.”

Dakota didn’t reply. The walkie-talkie flipped off with an audible “click”.

“I think that’s the best you’re going to get,” Nick sighed, shaking his head. This is a really sensitive topic for Dakota, too, after all.

“I suppose so,” Marley relented. “But anyway, now that we’ve dealt with all the drama, shouldn’t we get back to the actual question at hand?”

Nick winced.

“Come on, seriously?”

“The game isn’t over yet!” Nola pointed out, standing up straight. “Come on, Nick! What’s your answer? You need to pick one!”

Nick frowned. He didn’t like where his brain had gone, but in spite of the embarrassment of the situation, and how critical the conversation with Marley was… he had still come up with an answer.

Actually, it was that discussion itself that had put things in perspective and helped him realize how he actually felt on the matter, as much as it frustrated him to admit.

“Okay, I’ve got my answer,” he sighed, scrawling down a name on the whiteboard.

“I’ve got my answer too,” Marley said, retrieving her whiteboard and scrawling down a name as well. She winked at Nick and he glanced away, blushing.

“That’s great!” Nola chirped. “Then everything’s going right on schedule! So Marley, who did you put down for your choice? Do you think Nick is more likely to sleep with Sylvia? Or with his own stepmother, Amelia?”

Marley’s cheeks were pink as she held up her whiteboard to display her answer. The letters slowly appeared.

SYLVIA

Nick’s eyes widened and Nola giggled.

“I see! So in the end, you thought that there was a better chance of Nick having sexual feelings for Sylvia than for his stepmother! That’s certainly a choice!” She giggled. “And don’t get me wrong I understand why! Sylvia is so adorable, isn’t she? She’s a lot cuter now, I mean, but back in the good old days she was pretty sexy too, with her big boobs… oh, not that I want to sleep with her or anything, because of course I wouldn’t want that, I’m just saying that I see how Nick would! And it’s not like she would have been placed in the harem if he didn’t have some interest in her, you know? Speaking of which, Nick, any openings? I mean, I’ve got a fair bit of experience, and you have to admit, you have a thing for Irish girls, isn’t that right? I’m just joking! I’m teasing, you know I’m teasing! But just saying if you’re ever interested, then-”

“Nola,” Dakota’s voice crackled over the walkie-talkie, “get on with it.”

Nola blushed.

“O-oh, right,” she stammered, shifting a little behind the podium. “Sorry about that! So Marley, you decided that your choice was Sylvia! Now the question is, are you right? Or are you wrong? Nick? What did you say?”

The blush on Nick’s cheeks deepened as he held up his whiteboard. He looked away, as if he couldn’t bear to look at his answer.

SYLVIA

Nola’s eyes widened. Marley gasped.

“He put Sylvia too!” Nola exclaimed. “Wow! That means you both got the exact same answer! That’s great! Amazing! Stupendous! Congratulations you two, you get a point! Well, Marley gets a point, since it was her question. But still! That’s great! What a great answer! You both put Sylvia! Wow! So you’re in total agreement, then!”

In response to the shift in the points, the hook on the ceiling slid down slightly and the key jangled above their heads.

“J-just to be clear!” Nick exclaimed. “It’s not like I actually WANT to have sex with her or anything! But… but you said I had to choose one, so… I mean…”

He glanced at Marley and then looked away. “…After the conversation we had, when we were talking about your mom… moms… well, I mean… I couldn’t exactly put down Amelia’s name after that, right? I was a little confused and flustered, what, with the context of seeing her again as a member of my harem, but… she’s still my mom. Of course I couldn’t think of her like that…”

“I know,” Marley said, placing her hand on his. She gave him a soft smile. “Why do you think I put down Sylvia’s name myself?”

Nick’s eyes widened. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, of course,” Marley nodded. “When you were saying all that stuff about how I couldn’t see my family in a sexual light, I realized that you were projecting a bit yourself. I realized that even though you don’t want to sleep with either of them, you had a much greater aversion to sleeping with your stepmother than you did with Sylvia, since Amelia is a parental figure to you, and Sylvia, well… she’s really not.”

As much as Sylvia calling Nick “Daddy” might have disturbed him, at the end of the day, she wasn’t actually his daughter. Not in the many ways Amelia was his mother.

They’d both come to the same conclusion, in the end, and that’s why they both gave the same answer.

The walkie-talkie crackled, and Dakota cleared her throat.

“So, to be clear… because the two of you discussed the topic, against the explicit instructions of the game, you were able to come up with the same answer, is that right?”

Nick turned pale.

“W-wait, it’s not like that!” He stammered.

“Yeah, this is completely different!” Marley agreed, nodding quickly. “It’s not like we were sharing our answers together or colluding! We just connected with one another, and that’s how we figured it out! That doesn’t break any rules!”

“No! Not the aphrodisiac gas!” Nola wailed, ducking for cover behind the podium as Marley and Nick braced for the worst.

“Hmm? Not at all, of course not,” Dakota chuckled. “After such a touching, heartfelt conversation, I would never dose the both of you.”

“R-really?” Marley was stunned to hear that.

“Even though we kind of shared the answer without meaning to?” Nick was relieved that Dakota could be reasonable. It sounded so strange.

“I may have said that discussion was against the rules, but I think in this context, it’s perfectly fine,” Dakota assured them both. “After all, it’s all about getting you two to get along and confide in one another, right? So that you can both understand one another better. Punishing you for talking like adults would be rather counterproductive.”

Marley and Nick both sighed in relief.

“I just wanted to startle you a little bit,” Dakota continued. “To make sure you’ll be more careful in the future. You were getting close to the line, and I’d rather you didn’t cross it, as much as that would amuse the audience. Be careful moving forward, you wouldn’t want to inadvertently give away any more answers, would you?”

“Definitely not,” Marley agreed.

“Fair enough, thanks, Dakota,” Nick nodded.

“Great! Then let’s get on with the questions!” Nola clapped her hands, digging through the cards to try and find one that she could ask that wouldn’t result in a massive drama meltdown again. She’d had enough of that. “Okay! Here we go! Nick, this one is for you! Do you think Marley would rather have sex with you in a dark but crowded movie theater, or in a park in broad daylight but there aren’t a lot of people around?”

Marley and Nick both turned red. But the both felt a wave of relief wash over them all the same. Just because Nola was giving them a break from the emotionally-intensive questions didn’t mean they were getting a break from the sexy ones.

But that would be fine.