Our inclinations are hidden in looks

Nick and Marley crawled out of the secret passage and walked over to the door. Nick turned the key in the lock, and the door opened, leading them to the next room.

“Huh?!” Marley’s jaw dropped in surprise.

The room seemed completely off-theme from the previous ones. While the underground lab might have been more high-tech than the dungeon they’d started the escape room in, it still fit the idea of a witch’s laboratory.

This, on the other hand?

Everything was bright, lit up by spotlights shining down on a large, raised dais in the center of the room, which resembled a stage. A wide box with a bench in it sat on the stage, which looked like a prop for some kind of game show.

That was it! A game show! This looked like the set of a game show!

“What… what is this?” Marley asked, looking around in confusion. She walked over to the door on the far side of the room and tried to open it. “The door’s locked… Nick, check that box and see if you can find a key.”

“Right,” Nick said, walking over to the stage. But before he could get there, they heard a crackle over the walkie-talkie.

“There’s no need for that,” Dakota purred. “I’ll tell you where the key is.”

Just like that, the ceiling opened and a string with a key on the end slowly descended down towards the stage. But it hovered several feet above where Nick could feasibly reach.

“Huh? What, am I supposed to climb onto Nick’s back or something?” Marley asked, walking up beside him. They both stared up at the key dangling from the ceiling.

“Well, if that’s the way you like to do things I won’t say you can’t,” Dakota purred. “But it won’t help get you where you need to go.”

To prove her point, the key slowly slid back up towards the ceiling, much to their chagrin.

“Okay, alright, we get it,” Nick groaned. “So how do we get the key?”

“Hmm? Is that a hint I hear?” Dakota taunted them. “Careful how you word your questions, Nick, wouldn’t want a dose of aphrodisiac, would we?”

“You called us for a reason,” Marley snapped. “What do you want?”

“Oh, it’s a simple thing, really,” Dakota assured them. Which was her way of saying that it wouldn’t be simple at all. “We’re going to play a little game! Think of it like a game within a game!”

“A game?” Nick’s heart sank. His instincts were right- this WAS the setting for a game show! He could only imagine what sort of twisted nonsense Dakota would pull out of her hat.

“Tell me, have you ever watched… The Newlywed Game?” Dakota asked.

Marley’s face turned bright red. “N-newlyweds?!” She screeched. “B-but, we’re not like that! Nick and I, we’re just…”

“It’s a game show, Marley,” Nick assured her. “She’s just trying to goad you.”

“Right you are! It’s a very fun game show to watch, though,” Dakota said. “Here’s how it works. You will both be asked some questions. We’ll alternate between questions for Marley, and questions for Nick. As you are asked questions, you’ll write your answers down on the whiteboards provided.”

Nick dug around in the box, and found two whiteboards resting on the bench.

“So what, are we trying to match answers?” Marley asked.

“Exactly!” Dakota chirped. “When it’s Nick’s turn to answer a question, without consulting or peeking at his answers, Marley, you have to try and guess what answer he put down. And if your answers match? That’s a point! Now, for the fun part. To get the key, you BOTH have to get three of your partner’s answers correct! That’s three for Marley, and three for Nick! Do that, and the key will lower enough for you to grab it!”

“So it doesn’t matter how many we get wrong?” Nick sighed in relief.

“Not one bit!” Dakota assured him. “In fact, the more wrong answers the better! It will help you get to know each other, hopefully! You see? This is part of the reward, Marley! A bit of intimacy to help get along better with your boy.”

“This doesn’t feel like it’s how escape rooms work,” Marley dryly replied.

“…Here on Harem Hotel, we like to take some liberties,” Dakota understated. “Now! Into the box you two, chop chop! We’ve got questions to get to!”

Nick and Marley sighed and sat down in the box. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, meaning they had to be practically hugging each other. Marley’s breasts pressed up into Nick’s arm, which turned him stiff as a board.

“What’s the point of this?” Marley groaned. “I mean, come on! It’s not like we can’t see each other’s answers on here! I’m staring right at his whiteboard!”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Dakota assured her with a laugh. “The whiteboards are specially-treated. The pens write in invisible ink. When it’s time to present your answers, THEN you’ll be able to see! Oh, and before I forget… allow me to introduce you to your temporary host for the evening!”

A spotlight shot down onto the stage, and Nola appeared in a puff of smoke.

“Hello everybody!” The cheery leprechaun greeted them with a wave. “Such a pleasure to be out here tonight! I’m so glad I get to help you two get a little closer together! It’s not every day you get to take part in an escape room, you know! Although I was in an escape room just the other day! Or, well, I call it an escape room, but really Dakota just locked me in the hotel basement for a few hours. Not a great experience, wouldn’t recommend it. Unless you like basements, I guess? Oh, but I’m getting off track. The whole point is that I’m here to run the show for you! And if I do a good job, who knows? Maybe the producers will even restart my own season, wouldn’t that be just fantastic? An escape room challenge would definitely be a fun one I’m thinking! Everybody working together to get out of the room? Oh, but how would I score it… ah, that’s a problem for future Nola to handle, right now I just need to think about the puzzles, and-”

“Nola,” Dakota calmly cut her off, “I would like to get started sometime this century, if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Right, right, right! Sorry about that, Dakota!” Nola chirped, scratching her head sheepishly. “Okay then! Let’s get a move on! Time for the questions! We’re going to begin! Really soon, I just need to-”

“There is just one last thing,” Dakota cut her off again, “Marley, Nick, I know you’re probably wondering if there’s some way to get out of playing the game, but… there’s not. Don’t think you can share your answers out loud, either. Any foul play will result in me gassing the whole room with aphrodisiacs on each infraction.”

“Seriously?!” Marley exclaimed.

“Come on, Dakota, that’s going too far,” Nick groaned.

Nola blinked.

“Uh, w-wait, does that mean… me too?” She stammered. “Come on, Dakota, that’s a little… oh, you’re just joking, right? You wouldn’t do that!”

The walkie-talkie was dead silent.

“…Dakota?”

Nola turned pale, her smile cracked and frozen on her face.

“Looks like you’re stuck in this with us,” Nick commented grimly.

“Eh!?” Nola wailed. “O-okay then! But you better answer the questions correctly, you two! No funny business! I don’t wanna be gassed!”

Marley and Nick glanced at each other, and shared a smirk.

“So Nick, what were you thinking about putting down for question one?” Marley asked.

“Well…”

“STOP IT! I mean it! Cut it out already!” Nola wailed, floundering at her podium. “This isn’t going to get me rehired!”

She grabbed a card from the stand and held it up. “We’re starting! And no cheatsies or I’m gonna be so mad!”

“-And horny,” Marley added, earning her a look from the leprechaun.

“Marley! The first question is for you!” Nola snapped. “Tell us, what do you think is Nick’s favorite sexual position?”

“Huh!?” Marley’s eyes bulged out.

Nick’s jaw dropped. “Oh, come on! No way!”

“That’s the question!” Nola pouted. “Favorite sexual position, go, go!”

Nick glanced at Marley, who stared back at him, just as stunned. They both knew there wasn’t really any getting out of this; Nick would have to come up with something, and Marley would have to guess what it was.

And neither one of them was all that thrilled to be gassed.

“O-okay, I’m writing,” Nick stammered, grabbing the pen and scrawling his answer onto the whiteboard.

Once he finished, Marley did the same.

Nola smirked. “Come come my dears! Let’s see what you wrote down for your answers! Marley? Since this was a question for Nick, let’s see what YOU guessed his favorite sexual position was? If you wouldn’t mind?”

Marley’s face was red as pink as the host’s hair. Biting her lip, she sheepishly raised her whiteboard up, as the ink appeared on the surface.

MATING PRESS

Nick’s jaw dropped.

“M-mating press!?” He exclaimed. “That…”

“Ah-bup-bup-bup!” Nola skipped over to the box and pressed her finger over Nick’s mouth to silence him. “That’s enough of that! Let’s show the audience- and more importantly, Marley here- what your favorite sexual position is!”

Blushing, Nick raised his whiteboard.

MISSIONARY

“Oh,” Marley blinked. “That’s, uh… okay? Seems a little plain…”

“Hey!” Nick exclaimed. “Don’t call my tastes plain! It was the first thing I could think of, okay?! How did you think that mating press was my favorite position?!”

“Well, you married Mary, didn’t you?!” Marley protested. “So I just kind of figured… it was either that or doggystyle, okay!? I’m not familiar with all the sexual positions you kids are into these days!”

“You’re younger than me,” Nick replied. “…I think?”

“I was a plant once, so yeah.”

“Ahem!”

The arguing pair turned to Nola, who was tapping her foot impatiently. She loudly cleared her throat again. “AHEM!”

“…Oh, right, we should probably get back to this, huh?” Marley pointed out, laughing sheepishly.

“Yeah, ya think?” Nola replied with a sickeningly sweet smile. “Come on, lovebirds! My career is on the line here!”

“Sorry if that’s not a good motivator for us,” Nick said. Marley chuckled at that, and Nola rolled her eyes.

She was usually a lot more cheerful and upbeat. But right now, the pressure of the situation was getting to her.

Still, Nola knew how important it was to put on a good show. So she **** a smile onto her lips and spun to face the camera.

“The first question was a bust! Clearly, Marley doesn’t know as much about Nick as she would like! But let’s see how things go the other way around! Does Nick know more than he thinks about our little plant princess?”

“Ooh, I like that nickname!” Marley giggled.

“Nick, here’s your question about Marley! Let us know, what do you think Marley’s best physical feature is? And Marley, let us know if he got it right!”

Nick and Marley both turned red.

“That’s a little, well…” Marley couldn’t help her shyness coming back in full ****, but Nola wasn’t about to let that pass.

“Now, to help Nick with his answer, we’re going to give Marley a chance to show herself off for him!” She said, clapping her hands together. In a flash, Marley disappeared from the box, and then reappeared onstage beside Nola, standing posed like a model.

“Hey!” Marley scowled. “I can’t move! I’m stuck like this!”

“I know, isn’t it grand?” Nola giggled. “Now Nick, take your time, admire Marley all you like, and then when you think you know what her best physical feature is, feel free to write down your answer, sound good?”

“How is this fair?” Nick protested. “A person’s best features are subjective! There’s no objectively correct answer!”

“Objectively correct isn’t the POINT,” Nola groaned, rolling her eyes. “That’s not how the game is played! You’re just trying to match your answers to Marley’s, okay? As long as you both get the same answer, that’s what matters. …Oh, but we would still like you to be as honest as you can be, okay? No cheatsies!”

“So do you want honesty, or do you want us to try to match our answers?” Marley demanded. “This show seems rigged!”

Nola’s response was a dismissive shrug. Not exactly reassuring.

“Well, Nick?” She turned to him with an amused smirk. “What’s your answer to the question? If you’d like to come down and feel the merchandise for yourself-”

“That won’t be necessary!” Nick exclaimed, scrawling something down on the whiteboard. “There, that’s my answer!”

“What about me? Don’t I have to write my answer too?” Marley demanded.

“That’s correct!” Nola nodded, fetching Marley’s whiteboard. “Here you go, feel free to write what you think Nick’s answer should be!”

“I can’t move!” Marley reminded her, still stuck in the sensual pose Nola had frozen her into, with one hand on her hip and the other trailing down her leg.

“…Right, let’s just free your arm for a second… there we go!” Nola placed the pen in Marley’s free hand, and held the whiteboard up to it. That seemed like a lot more work than was needed when she could have just freed the other girl completely, and Marley glared at her as she wrote down her answer on the board.

“…And there we have it!” Nola retrieved the whiteboard. “So Nick, what do you think Marley’s best physical feature is?”

Nick held up the whiteboard shyly, finding it hard to look the girl in the eyes. “It… well…”

Marley’s eyes widened in surprise when she saw Nick’s answer.

ASS

“Really!?” She exclaimed.

“Really?” Nola looked stunned. “Not her boobs? Her ass?”

“What do you want from me, okay?!” Nick groaned. “I mean, yes, Marley’s boobs are nice, and it’s kind of hard to avoid them when she’s been walking around in just a bra, but- what are you trying to make me say here?!”

“I knew you were checking me out on the ladder!” Marley beamed at him. “That’s so sweet of you to say!”

Marley could be a little self-conscious about her body. She knew that, objectively, she was gorgeous, and in another reality, she probably would have been very proud to flaunt what she had.

But she had a twin sister whose body was just as curvy, and unlike Marley, she enjoyed showing it off.

“I’ve always felt a little self-conscious since I don’t like to put myself on display the way Carly does,” Marley admitted to Nick. “I mean… look at her. My sister, she’s just… my sister.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Nick nodded.

Carly could be a bit of a handful. And he didn’t mean her breasts.

“Whatever I thought my best feature was, Carly’s was always better than me,” Marley sighed. “It seemed like her smile was brighter, her boobs were a little perkier… let’s face it, most of the time a guy tried to get to know me, it was just about getting closer to her.”

They were both gorgeous. But Carly presented while Marley withdrew. She’d always been afraid that she wouldn’t have someone looking at her for who she was.

But Nick…

“That’s so sad! Aww, I feel so bad for you!” Nola wailed, wiping away the tears streaming down her face on her green sleeve. “Marleeey! You poor thing! If I could give you all the points, then I would absolutely do that! You so deserve it you poor girl! I know just what it’s like, to constantly be overlooked and overshadowed by someone everybody thinks is better!”

“I am better,” Dakota cut in through the walkie-talkie, causing Nola to jump.

“Uh, thanks, Nola,” Marley awkwardly replied, trying to smile but not quite sure what to make of a statement like that.

Nola quickly recovered and was soon back to her perky self again. “…But since I can’t actually give you all the points, we’ll have to see what you earn for yourselves!” She chirped. “Let’s take a look at the answer Marley gave us!”

She brandished the whiteboard, and the writing flashed up onto it.

BOOBS

“…What?” Marley shrugged, giving Nick a lopsided smile. “I mean… I’m not blind. I know my boobs are my best feature. Unfortunately, someone had my ass stuck in their head.”

“Better than the other way around,” Nick replied, cracking a bad joke.

Marley bit her lip and rolled her eyes, unable to stop herself from giggling at the ridiculous comment.

“I’m gonna tell Carly her boobs aren’t good enough for you,” she teased.

“Come on, don’t drag her into this!” Nick groaned.

Nola cleared her throat again. “Sorry to cut off the flirt-off, but we’re not quite done yet,” she said. “Nick may have been a complete moron not writing boobs-”

“Hey!” Nick protested. “I just thought that her ass stood out more because of what happened earlier! Marley’s boobs are still nice! …What are you getting me to say!? Damn it!”

“Right, right…” Nola rolled her eyes and moved forward. “Now then, Marley, let’s get you back to your seat!”

She snapped her fingers and Marley could move again. She was squished up next to Nick, whiteboard in hand.

“So it’s my question next, right?” Marley asked.

“Exactly!” Nola chirped. “Neither one of you have scored any points, and that’s not good! But will this question be your opportunity to turn it around? Let’s find out! Marley, the audience is dying to know! Who do you think Nick wants to have sex with more? His stepmother, Amelia? Or your mother? Sylvia?”

Marley’s jaw hit the floor.

“What kind of question is that!?” Nick exclaimed.

“The kind that you two need to answer,” Nola replied, doing her best imitation of Dakota’s glare. It looked frankly adorable, like a kid throwing a tantrum and getting mad at her parents. “Well, Marley? What do you think? Amelia or Sylvia, which M-I-L-F do you think Nick would L-F more? Think carefully now!”

Marley just shook her head in shock, still not fully computing the question.

Nick sighed and buried his face in his whiteboard. With questions like these, they wouldn’t be out of this room any time soon. He didn’t even know where to begin with his answer!