Existentialism

A few rounds of passionate sex later, Mia and I are sitting on the couch, snuggling and watching more of our show. We’re approaching the end of the series of Love **** and Robots, and we’ll be in need of something else to watch soon. For now, we can still enjoy it. ‘Gemma? Can you and Mia come here?’ Ivy asks tentatively, through our mental connection. I pause the show and turn to Mia. “Ivy needs us, let’s go.” I tell Mia. She nods and we walk to the dining room, where Ivy is still sat at the table.

“What’s up Ivy?” I ask her, sitting down at the table. Mia takes a seat opposite me, while Ivy sits at the head of the table. “I need a break from researching. I’ve come to understand more about life, but I need time to think about all of it.” Ivy requests, and I nod. “Can you tell us about what you researched and what you understand?” I ask. “Of course.” She obliges.

“I first researched ‘what is existence’, in the hopes that I might better understand my own existence. I found a few different theories: Materialism, which says that the things that exist are matter and energy, with all things being composed of some kind of material. Existence under materialism is defined as being able to interact with other materially composed objects in the physical world.” Ivy explains, and I nod.

“Idealism by contrast, says that existence is thoughts and emotions. The ability to exist and be conscious, as I seem to be, is defined by the ability to think and form ideas. I now believe that my own existence is a combination of the two; my existence is made up of my ability to think, as well as my ability to interact with the physical world.”

“Having come to understand this idea, I can now start to comprehend other things about life. According to my research, part of conscious existence is having goals or preferences for things, so I started to research what some typical goals are that humans have. I found that in general terms, most humans desire a purpose in their life and people to share that purpose with.” Ivy looks Mia and I in the eyes, in turn. “I am thankful to have the two of you in my life.” She says, and I smile at her.

Ivy’s eyes return downwards, looking at the table as she remembers what she has learnt. “I then started to research what exactly a purpose is. I found that many humans derive their purpose from religion, or a greater sense of divine worth. I found the words ‘god’s plan’ referenced a few times, when looking into this idea. Gemma, does this refer to Gaia?” Ivy asks. I think about my answers for a moment, before responding. “In some religions within the abyss, assuming that’s a thing, it might. However, those words usually refer to whatever the deity that the person saying them worships.” I explain. Ivy nods in understanding, then continues.

“I found that a lot of other people believe that their purpose is determined by themselves. It is supposedly one of the more difficult struggles in life to find a purpose. Religious teachings give that purpose, so I think that might be why religion is attractive to some people. I personally feel that an idea that I found called hedonism suits me well: Pleasure and good feelings are good, and pain or bad feelings are bad.”

“I resonate more with this idea than any sense of divine purpose that traditional human religions seem to offer. I like the idea that our purpose as sentient beings should be to do whatever makes us happy, and try to avoid what makes us and other people sad. It strikes me as a simple and honest way to live life.”

“Following that, I researched things that typically make people happy and sad. The list of what makes people happy included family and friends, meaningful work, positive thinking, giving to others and personal freedom. I find that I like most of those ideas, although I’m not sure what ‘meaningful work’ I can really do.”

“I found some lists of things that make people sad, and I don’t like those ideas. **** was a big one, bad health, a lack of connections with people, fights with family or friends and people being rude or mean.” Ivy stops for a moment and shivers. “I hate the idea of either of you dying. I understand that I was created to help make sure that doesn’t happen, so I will do that to the best of my ability.” I put my arm around her, and she seems to take some comfort out of the gesture.

Smiling at me, Ivy continues. “After doing research on both ideas, I tried to think of some things that made me happy. I like protecting you and healing you. It feels like I’m doing something right, like I’m doing something I should be. After my research, I can conclude that this is what happiness feels like. I want to protect and take care of you both.”

“This is what I have come to understand for now. I need time to think about this, but I want to know how I can better make the two of you happy. It would make me happy to do so.” Ivy concludes, looking up at me. I nod, smiling at her. “Thank you for explaining that Ivy. For now, the best thing you can do is to keep protecting us in battle and spend some time with us.”

“Hopefully one day soon, I will increase your libido stat. I believe once I do that, you’ll be able to better understand some of these things. Would you like to go back into combat?” I ask her. “This is with the aim of increasing your power, yes?” Ivy asks. I nod again. “Then yes. I want you to be safe, and you being more powerful means you will be safer.” She explains.

The next dungeon run goes much the same as the first. Ivy is getting more skilled and more experienced at using her abilities to help us. Mia and I remain the primary damage dealers, while Ivy focuses mainly on supporting us. We’re in the same tier 5 rat dungeon as before, and we’re doing well. The main difference this time around is that Ivy is getting better, and I’m getting more used to coordinating with her through our mental connection.

I can feel little bits of satisfaction coming through the mental connection every time Ivy blocks a hit for me, or heals one of us. It makes me happy to see that she’s gaining happiness from something as simple as this, and it certainly works well within her role as a healer and a sort of guardian. As Mia deals the final blow to the boss and the level up window pops up, Ivy lets out a little cheer. I look at her and giggle at the satisfied look on her face.

“Did you like that Ivy?” I ask her, and she looks over to me, a smile on her face. “It was satisfying.” She replies, and I chuckle. “Ya can say that again!” Mia replies, landing softly on the grass. “I love killing that thing.” She proclaims. I gather up the loot from the rats and we exit out of the dungeon. I open my character sheet and spend my new statpoints on strength. I’m now at 20 strength, and I feel noticeably stronger, which is really good. Hopefully I’ll be able to start using that battle axe soon enough. I’ll be able to test that a little later.

Walking inside Mia’s house to recover, I sit down on the couch with Mia. Ivy remains standing, looking a little unsure of what to do with herself. I pat the couch next to me. “Sit down with us.” I tell her. She hesitates for a moment, then smiles and sits down next to me. I pull up my inventory to inspect the new loot. I am once again $15,000 richer, which I’m thankful for. My income has been incredible since I got these powers.

The rest of the loot is the same boring stuff as before, so I list the meat containers on the auction and give the other stuff to Ivy for her to eat. She begins quietly munching on the loot while I suggest a new show for us to watch. “How about ‘The Last Man On Earth’?” I ask Mia. “What’s that?” She asks. “Exactly what it sounds like. We’re watching it.” I decide for her. “Yes ma’am.” Mia laughs as I take the remote and start to turn on the show.

“Are you okay watching tv with us Ivy?” I ask, before pressing play. “What do you mean?” She asks, turning to me. “This is a way that people relax. We have shows with people who are acting in different scenarios to tell a story. It can be really enjoyable.” I tell her. Ivy thinks for a moment and nods. “Okay, sounds fun.” She says and smiles. I smile back, pressing play on the show and snuggling up with Mia while Ivy continues to munch on the loot.

After the first episode is over, I turn to Ivy and ask her how it was. Mia enjoyed it, as was evidenced by her laughter. Ivy didn’t really seem to understand many of the jokes, and this idea is confirmed by her answer. “I enjoyed the story, I did find it interesting. I don’t really understand why you were laughing though.” She admits. “It’s okay, you don’t have to at the moment. You will eventually, but a lot of the jokes had to do with sex. You have no libido, so you won’t really relate to it or find it funny until you do.” I say.

Ivy frowns at that. “Can you raise my libido so I can understand?” She asks. Mia elbows me in the ribs and I chuckle at her reaction. “Not at the moment. I’d really like to, and I will soon enough. I want to get you to 50 intellect first, then we can raise your libido. You’ll need to be level 24.” I tell her. Ivy frowns again, then looks back to the loot items. “I’ll keep eating then.” She says. One bite later, and a popup opens.

I open up Ivy’s character sheet and spend the points on intellect before I can be tempted to spend them on libido. As hot as fulfilling a years old fantasy would be, our safety is more important than that. Next to me, Mia snickers. “What?” I ask her, turning to her. “The look on your face. I can tell exactly what you want and how frustrated you are that you haven’t gotten it yet.” She giggles and I sigh. “You’re mean, taking enjoyment out of my suffering.” I tell her.