Feeling claustrophobic like the walls are closing in. Bloodstains on my hands and I don’t know where I’ve been.

It was the right move.

Not sleeping with Heidi was definitely the right move. Air streamed over Bob’s scalp as he took the downhill at speed, the trail lit only by a handful of broadly spaced light poles. “Right” was rapidly becoming more difficult to differentiate and as he leant into the acceptance that this was something more than just a coma dream Bob found it easier and easier to justify his actions, but was he doing “right”?

Really what was right? Was there a possibility of doing all of this wrong? If he stuck by the ‘DMT is flooding my brain as I die and making me hallucinate all of this’ theory then right and wrong didn’t exist. If this were all real then the moral implications were almost too much to wrap his brain around.

I didn’t choose this, so the only points on which I’m morally culpable are what actions I take. So is denying myself the opportunity to enjoy the company of women who seem to be willing to enjoy my company wrong? Am I taking advantage of this situation? Or am I just along for the ride here?

All of his… concubines? Inamoratas? Couldn’t even say ‘girls’ because of Robin… seemed to not only actively want him, but also to be gaining something from this. Some of it already showed, especially in Alicia’s case. So let’s look them over, shall we?

I’ve been lusting over Kayla since the day she started when she made that joke about “dad dick”. I actually had to look it up on Urban Dictionary. I knew her home life was trash and I always wanted to do something for her but I didn’t want to come across as creepy. Fuck, I’m older than her actual father.

KJ… there’s a lot to unpack there. She says she’s seen the error in her ways, and I got my catharsis out of her, but damn it, I still want her and what’s worse I want to take care of her. Can I?

Cassie… I never knew things were that bad with Ray. She never showed anything beyond the professional demeanor, never even gave me a glimpse below the surface. She can’t actually want me. But the way she just… quivered when I touched her. When she came… the way she held onto me all night. Maybe she does need this?

Is Alicia clinging to me because of her new lease on life? If I’d been in my thirties when we’d met and I wasn’t her student would we have been together? My ego wants to say yes, and for once I’m inclined to agree with it.

Morgan I’m not sure what to think about. I was attracted to her when Mattie introduced us. Hell, she gave me her business card, and really, what does an underpaid cook in an assisted living community need with a wealth management professional? Was that flirting? I dunno. I like her, but there’s still a disconnect that isn’t there with the others.

Like Darlene. If I’m honest with myself I knew Charlie had a crush on me back then. It was probably obvious to anyone who was looking. I didn’t have my head on straight enough then to know what I was seeing and I wasn’t self aware enough to know that it’s kind of what I wanted too. I’m good with this. Darlene’s mine now and even if this all blows up in my face I’ll have her.

So… cards on the table and gun to my head… how do I feel about Robin? They definitely enjoyed our night together. So did I. And damned if I haven’t fantasized about having a trappy little sissy slut to alternately take care of and ****. Yeah, let’s be honest, my darker nature really wants to totally dominate them and shape them into my little fantasy.

Dodging between trees, and lost in his reverie, Bob almost didn’t see the gathering of dwarves until he was nearly on top of them.

The fire smoldered low at the center of the clearing, surrounded as it was by the neckbeards casting crazy shadows in its low light. Thankful for the silence of skis on snow, Bob came to a slow stop and found a convenient quiet bush to lurk behind while he eavesdropped on the convocation.

“… and that’s why we have to strike!” It was the skinny one, Þvörusleikir, who had seemingly just given a rousing speech loudly enough that it had obscured Bob’s approach.

What was most troubling was the vociferous positive response to his exhortation. Eleven of the thirteen gathered around the circle cheered wildly as skinny Þvörusleikir folded his arms across his chest with a dark smile creasing his cracked lips.

The only holdout was the beardless short Stúfur, who stomped his diminutive foot and shook his head wildly. “Not only is this show we’ve signed on for a good thing because it puts those useless bitches in their place, unionizing is just so… liberal.”

The growl from behind him startled the short dwarf and he turned to face the largest of his brothers. A dwarf by association more so than physique, he was nearly Bob’s height. “I’ve had about enough of your lip.”

And with that he lifted his left arm revealing that in place of a hand he had a wicked looking meathook. The moon and firelight gleamed off of it as he raised it into the air before bringing it down with a sickening crunch and lodging the sharp point into his smallest brother’s skull

(Title: “Sweating Bullets” by Megadeth)