Checkup

What followed was a thorough exam that seemed much more invasive than I was used to in New York and the experience left me feeling **** in a way that simply being locked in a room had not. Throughout, the woman's manner was completely dispassionate except for an edge of annoyance at me.

As I sat on the exam table, trying to recover my dignity, the woman wrote some notes on a clipboard before calling out, "Entra, brujo."

A moment later, the man opened the door and entered.

"¿Está sana?" he asked.

"Debería comer menos McDonald's, pero razonablemente saludable. Sus tetas falsas estaban bien hechas, ni siquiera hay una cicatriz obvia," the woman replied.

"Solo necesito unos minutos con ella."

"Dijo cada hombre tratando de mojarse la polla," the woman mumbled as she left.