Learning to Live with Perverts

Cover Story: From The D*cks of the World Continued - Vol. 1
Vivi had moved on from fucking the guards, the palace help, and her father, to trying to find a man who could satisfy her needs emotionally as well. She truly did love her people but found no dinging sound in letting them rut inside her. No matter how big and thick their cock or long and skilled their tongue, neither man nor woman could ding this lonesome princess. It was a tale already being adapted into story books, yet it needed an ending. And so Vivi set her sights on the reverie to find her man, or at least to change the law to let her marry a certain pirate with no strings attached...

“...”

“......”

“Kuah…!” The woman exhaled loudly, “That one’s Zoro’s.”

“No way! It’s gotta be Natsuo’s!”

“Um, the big robot man! I forgot his name…”

“Hmhm, I think you’ll find it’s Sanji’s.”

“Aaaaand, ding ding ding! Robin is the winner!”

Multiple groans and growls emanated from the other girls, “Wha-?! Again?! She must be cheating using her powers!” Perona seethed in rage.

The four girls were all sitting in the library with blindfolds on… and sniffing underwear. Nami had won the first sexy challenge, able to out thief the ghost girl thanks to her knowledge of where Franky stores his precious sea-panties. But the two had decided to keep the fun going with Robin and Marguerite by trying to identify all the owners of the underwear by smell alone.

“It is getting uncanny, Robin. I worry that you’ve been smelling the guy’s crotches too much recently.” said Nami, reaching over to once more have a sniff of her boyfriend’s underwear (the one round she’d conclusively won).

“The score is now 1-7-3-4.” Brook explained. The judge was bribed with a pair of underwear from each of the women to play the role, a bribe that he happily wore on his head like a trophy, “I’d say that Robin has already won, but to make it interesting let’s have this one be worth five points! Yohoho! Drama!”

“Hey! That means I still can’t win!”

“Your fault for not at least going with my answer for Usopp and Margey’s answer for Luffy. That crap’s obvious!”

Robin nodded with a smile, “I’ll accept that, but try and make it interesting.”

“Hmm, I’ll see what I can do. Be right back!” Brook announced before barrelling out the room. The girls all patiently sitting with their blindfolds still on, chatting about this and that while they inhaled more of their boyfriend’s underwear air. It wasn’t a long wait as the skeleton quickly returned. “Here we are! Though I have no nose I think this should provide an adequate smell challenge for you! Give it a whiff!”

The garment was passed around, each taking their turn before holding their breath with it for a bit. Though the uncertainty seemed to be strong this time.

“Hmm, I dunno… Franky?”

“Uhh, Chopper!”

“Even I’m unsure about this one. Could it be you, Brook?”

“I think…” Marguerite ended, seemingly having a long thought before exclaiming, “Is it Empress Hancock’s?!”

“Yahoo~! We have a winner!” Brook exclaimed, clapping his bones together as everyone took off their blindfolds, “They were the only pair I knew none of you have stolen yet, because they were hidden inside the big backpack of packed lunches that the Empress gave to us!”

It made sense, though Perona was still pissed off about it. But just as she was about to yell out ‘rigged’, Marguerite’s big smile gave her pause, “I did it! I won! Yay~!” The happy Amazon exclaimed, totally diffusing the Perona bomb about to go off, who was honestly just happy that neither Nami or Robin won.

“Yeah, well done, blondie.” The pinknette clapped, “But next time I’ll be a **** to be reckoned with! I’m going to smell all the men’s dicks n balls until I can identify them a mile away! Then I shall be victorious!” With that exclamation, Perona floated off out the door.

Robin giggled, “She left like she was a comic book villain.”

“Um, what do I win?”

“It’s mostly just bragging right, but feel free to take any underwear you’d like,” Nami explained, standing up from the couch and stretching her body a bit, “Hoo~ All that manly scent has given me a massive lady boner. I’m gonna go get that looked at, see ya girls later!” And with that, Nami left the library too, followed by Brook and his multiple pantie prizes.

“How about you, Ms. Kuja?” Robin asked sweetly to the girl hungrily looking at her underwear horde, “Are you in need of Luffy’s services?”

“Um, I think he’s eating right now. He gets a little cranky when you interrupt third lunch…” She almost sadly frowned before blush formed on her cheeks, “I was just going to m-masturbate a bit instead.”

“Then I could join you, if you’ll have me?”

The blonde smiled widely, “I’d love to! I’m used to playing with myself near other women, so it’ll actually be a big help!” The two quickly removed their panties and began to apply their fingers inside their very moist pussies. Taking long drawn out smells from the underwear while playing with themselves.

It was a lovely bonding experience for the pair. Giggling and sharing the various scents, talking about the best positions and places to put one's fingers, and generally getting to know each other through shared masturbation. Robin going so far as to show off her cloning powers and how they could be used to eat herself out next to them.

Though Marguerite didn’t know that Robin needed a little extra assistance, as the older woman had spawned her rear in front of her currently relaxing boyfriend, who proceeded to spank and massage her bulbous clone butt while she sniffed his sweaty balls through his boxers.

It ended with them both orgasming at around the same time, the exhausted blonde having a nap on Robin's lap as they returned their pulses to normal levels. All while the archaeologist continued to read a little.

The way of the samurai is a hard fought one. Training must never cease for even a single day, as to fail your body is to fail yourself. Even after all the years away from it, Zoro appreciated his gym in the crow's nest. It was almost a sanctuary where he could be alone, away from all the hijinks of his captain and wacky crew. Lifting his over 4,000 kilogram weight while admiring a school of horned blackbilled seals swimming past his window. The underwater beauty a good backdrop to keep him focused and-

SLAM

"Whew! Your crew is pretty fun when they're not trying to kill you!"

The woman he'd unknowingly impregnated had floated into his sanctuary and loudly laid down on the couch. He'd have sighed, but to let out his breathe like that could mean instant failure in his training.

"Y-yeah? G-good for you." He squeezed out through gritted teeth before returning to counting his squats, "...3,134. 3,135. 3,136..."

Perona was too high on happiness to worry that he'd been curt with her, not that he didn't have a good reason to anyway. "You probably saw from up here, but that idiot captain and robot guy were trying to see who could catch the most fish! Neither of them expected me to swoop in there and turn all those silly fish into depressed husks, easy for catching and snatching the win!" She proudly boasted, puffing her chest out expecting further praise for her accomplishments.

But all she got back was numbers.

"...you know, even that chef guy complimented me on my fish catching. Though then he complimented me too much and it got weird." She looked over, expecting to get a rise from her boyfriend but only getting a slight semblance of a smile instead, "What's with you and him? No long lingering homosexual feelings between you two, is there?"

If anything was going to throw Zoro out of his training, that would have been it. His legs buckled as the mental image **** him down to one knee. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

"Hmm, maybe so..." Perona scratched her chin, floating over to one of her bags she'd brought onto the ship and taking out a notebook, "Horororo, it's already giving me tons of new fic ideas."

"Fick?"

That made her angry. Perona scowling at Zoro with quite real annoyance in her face and voice, "I've TOLD you I write stories before. Do you never listen to me?"

"Hm? Oh right, yeah. The ones about swordsman or something, right?" Zoro nodded, continuing to work out as he remembered her explaining it to him one night over dinner with him and Mihawk back in his castle. Though Zoro still had no idea what a 'fick' had to do with it, it at least made her anger subside.

"Yeah. You X Mihawk. I wrote about how you and him probably went into the forest to do suck each other off instead of training."

Okay, that definitely was enough to **** Zoro to stop. Buckling his other knee and sending him and his weight crashing to the ground. After a rough scramble through his own samurai failure, Zoro emerged from his weighted cocoon with a very angry expression. "WE NEVER FUCKING DID THAT!"

The girl just snorted at his rage, "Duh. That's why it's called 'fiction'." She rolled her eyes like he was the dumbest guy ever, "But it was hot to imagine you two being lovers, so I wrote about it. I was just... nervous about telling you the saucy details back in the castle so I just said I wrote about swordsmen and the 'care they took of each others swords' or whatever."

"...so that's why you didn't want me reading it." He grumbled, grabbing his nearby towel and wiping off the sweat from his body, "Whatever, write what you want. Just make it clear that its not something that's happened, alright?"

Perona giggled at his reaction, "Aww, is Zoro-kun getting all worried about his sexuality? Worried people are gonna call you 'gay'?"

"Huh? Why would that matter?" Zoro lowered an eyebrow after taking a long chug from his water bottle, "I don't care if people think I'm gay. I just don't want people thinking I did anything with that shitty cook." The thought made him look physically ill, a shudder literally passing through his body.

"Spoilsport." The writer shrugged, seemingly adding the request at the top of the page, "Though thanks for the permission to write more, horororo!"

Zoro shrugged, "You seem to care a lot about it. I wouldn't get in the way of that."

"...r-right... thanks..."

'What the hell?' An embarrassed Perona thought, 'Why'd he say something like that?! Does he like me or something?!' She fumed, running her hand through her long pink hair while glaring at her boyfriend. He attempted to go back to working out, apparently starting right back at number one instead of continuing from the three thousands he was at previously. The ghost girl couldn't help but stare at his rippling out in the open back muscles with some amount of awe. She'd obviously seen them before, but in new contexts the scars on his back made her almost feel things about him. Not worry, but something akin to it perhaps. The caring in her head was both annoying her and increasing her libido again, something that hadn't really calmed down since the underwear sniffing earlier.

"Oi. Want some extra challenge for your training?"

His one eye looked back at her, partly annoyed, "More ghosts? What did I do now?"

She spluttered back a growl, "Nothing! I was genuinely asking, asshole!"

"I guess." He shrugged, as well as he could with the weight on his shoulders, slowly moving around to look at her, "What did you have in m-!?"

She was basically millimetres from his face. Smiling wide as he sweated on in confusion.

"You get distracted easily, Mr. Oh-So-Great Swordsman." Perona giggled, floating her way down his muscular body and lightly kissing him on the way down. Looking like a fish in the underwater environment, as she swam down towards his pants, slowly moving them to see his rapidly hardening erection underneath. "Maybe I should see how distracted I can make you~ This'll be great inspiration for my fic, horororo~"

They both knew that if Zoro dropped his weight that she could phase through it using her powers. The only danger was to the swordsman's ego if he lost focus again so soon. So with the guppy on the end of his rod, he continued to count his squats. All while a tongue swirled around his erection, slowly making his breathing more ragged but strengthening his resolve as well.

“Robin, why’re you dragging me to the bathroom?” I asked, utterly confused by the suddenness of her request after we’d just finished another ‘massage’ session.

She looked back at me, perfectly content to let me wonder as we climbed the last set of stairs. Inside was another girl, the blonde Marguerite was staring at the bathroom mirror while cleaning her teeth.

The girl looked rather flustered when we came in, scrambling her body to the side of the room in a frantic panic, still not used to the male presence perhaps. “Ah! S-sorry! Did you need this area?”

Robin shook her head, “Yes, but you have no need to move, Ms. Kuja. I too just wanted to brush my teeth.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Oh man, does my breath stink? Is that why I’m here too?”

“You are simply here to watch.” She cooed, quickly applying toothpaste to toothbrush. I really didn’t get it. Did Robin have a teeth brushing fetish? Or like, an exhibitionist teeth brushing fetish? Getting off on having me watch her have good dental hygiene? I guess it could be weirder… or at least worse in the gross tier list. This was just kind of odd but I could live with it if she liked it.

But rose upon that oddness chart this did, when she mayhaps drop her panties.

The build up of jizz I’d left inside her now came seeping out of her reddened pussy, an act that she blocked with her toothbrush. White hot cum covered the brush, the woman having to squat gently to make sure as much of my load ended up over the minty goo underneath. When she was satisfied with the consistency of cream to cum, Robin then gave me one more smirk and applied my jizz directly to her tongue. Scrubbing it back and forth, keeping her mouth wide while looking in the mirror to make sure I watched the whole thing.

Marguerite was similarly transfixed to what Robin was doing. Wide eyes from both of us as the prim and proper girl pushed more and more of my salty cream around her flexible tongue. Soon switching to actually brushing her teeth properly. Scrubbing around her mouth and generating foam where I couldn’t tell where cum began and toothpaste ended.

“Oh man, that can’t be healthy…” I mumbled, erection rising despite my protests to the contrary. I couldn’t help it, no one had ever brushed their teeth with my cum before! It was weird... but in a hot way… shit, she isn’t giving ME a toothbrush fetish is she?

When it was all over she made a show of gulping (I guess she was never much of a spitter) before Robin turned to me and opened her mouth wide. Showing me the bull breadth of her cleaned throat as saliva dripped inside her mouth, “All clean.” She declared, smiling sweetly at me despite the perverse thing she’d just performed. “That brand of toothpaste is particularly tasty, I recommend.”

“I’ll give it a go sometime…” I lamely replied, not really focusing as Robin rubbed her body against me again. “Wanna take a bath? I think you need to be cleaned up .”

With a continued smile, she scooped up another wad of my cum and smeared it onto the uncovered part of her breasts, leaving a sticky trail of jizz over her bulbous balloons, “Perhaps I should, I am a very dirty girl.” She replied like it was the most natural response in the world. “Would you like to join us, Ms. Kuja?”

Oh right, nearly forgot about her. “Don’t tease her like that Robin. Sorry Marguerite, were you needing the bath first?”

She shook her head silently with wide eyes looking down. Still stunned from the acts we’d performed I suppose.

“Okay, well, I’ll go start the water.” I replied, squeezing Robin one last time as I headed into the bath part of the bathroom.

What I missed was an exchange of some of my cum onto Marguerite's toothbrush so she could try what she’d just witnessed.

“What’s for dinner Sanji-kyun?”

The blonde chef looked up from his frying pan to see a ginger navigator. She was sweetly swaying back and forth on the small bar they had to separate the kitchen and dining room, looking at him with a nice smile and an expecting look.

He returned her smile as he turned off the stove. “Not a lot to cook right now Nami-swan. So we’re just going with hot-dogs, plenty of bread and meat in that pack that Luffy got from… you know who.” Sanji sighed a little at the reminder of all Luffy had done.

Nami just ignored his sadness to beam at him. “Sounds great! Can I have mine and Usopp’s first? I wanna go join him on watch in the crow’s nest and you know how quick meat can disappear around Luffy.”

The chef’s emotions went from happy that Nami was happy, to annoyed that she wanted to go off with her boyfriend. But, ever the gracious man, quickly prepared the two plates with a few meat filled rolls with plenty of salad in Nami’s and a little bit of chilli in Usopp’s.

“Here you go Madame, I hope you two enjoy.” He smiled, handing her the plates and letting her speed off. “Oh wait, did you guys want any sauces?”

“Thanks Sanji-kyun! We’re good!” Nami exclaimed while leaving the room. “HEY EVERYONE! DINNER TIME!”

As the rabble poured in Sanji was left completely in the dark as to why Nami had avoided condiments. Though he might have realised sooner if he’d noticed it was actually Brook’s turn to be in the Crow’s Nest. Instead, Nami had hurried back to where she’d left Usopp back in his workshop.

The sniper was hot and heavy, clearly erect, and growing much more annoyed by the second. He looked up to see his impregnated girlfriend coming down the stairs with two plates. “Y-you left me right near the edge… to refill on food?” He panted, “You couldn’t have just finished me off first?!”

Nami just smirked back at him, putting his plate down and then moving to crouch by his throbbing manhood. “No~ cause then I wouldn’t have been able to do this!” She declared, suddenly licking and kissing aggressively down the side of the sniper’s gun.

A thick groan of release gurgled up from the edged Usopp, which was just what Nami wanted. She grabbed the top of her sandwich to immediately shove Usopp’s dick into the centre as warm hot cum shot out his tip. Piping hot cream was shot at high **** into the roll, the feeling of cold salad, warm bread, and hot meat on his dick being incredibly weird for the sniper.

“That’s it, babe.” She purred, pumping her fist on his base to get as much of his ball juice as she could. “Give mommy a nice big one to fill her up. Improve Sanji’s cooking with your ‘secret recipe’.”

Usopp just gasped and choked until he felt royally drained. Collapsing back onto his workbench with a thud.

His girlfriend didn’t mind though. He’d done what she wanted, and now she got to have a truly perverted meal of sausage and cum. Nami took a proper Luffy sized bite of the first sandwich to receive Usopp’s blessing. The first few pumps making the ropes of jism drip out from the side, but Nami didn’t mind being a messy eater this time. Pushing the bread into her face and letting hot stickiness smear on her chin as the first bite touched her tongue.

It was salty and sour, but somewhat paired well with the savoury sausage and the sweet salad. Honestly it could have tasted like rotten fish for all Nami cared though, she was much more interested in showing Usopp how much she loved chewing his cum no matter the context. “Mmmm, delicious. I should have all my food made ‘a la Usopp’!” She said with a muffled tone as she chewed.

Even though he was tired and drained, Usopp watched Nami intensely. A boner slowly reformed as he saw white strands amongst her chomps. It was just too hot to look away, the thought that his cum was so tasty to Nami that she chose to chew it like this, and her suggestion to add his jism to all her food…

Her hot dog was finished rather quickly, though Nami took the time to suck each of her digits clean of any leftover Usopp, and giggling when they matched gulps for different reasons.

“Eat up or your food will go cold.” She smirked, “You know how Sanji feels about ruining f-”

Burp!

Usopp could have snarked back but Nami’s lewd burp interrupted his brain, it was somehow the hottest thing he could think of. This girl who he'd cared of for so long having chewed and swallowed his cum so erotically that she'd burped on it. He pushed her down while she giggled at his ‘I’m far too horny’ face, always loving when she could make Usopp lose control. Dinner could wait as the sniper mounted her thick chest so they could make their own ‘hotdog’.

The navigator was able to steal two more shots from the sniper, easily. Thinking to herself that she should start working out again, since Usopp was giving her stomach so much protein.

The Straw Hats had a bit of a bed problem.

It had started when both Nami and Perona had brought their men to the women’s sleeping area when it was time to sleep. While Marguerite was potentially happy to sleep wherever (including the guy’s bunks as long as she was with Luffy) the other two had made a claim on the women’s only double bed. So there was a small tiff outside the bedroom... and then again inside when they found Robin and I already canoodling inside the sheets.

So this delicate situation needed to be resolved quickly. Thanks to a suggestion by Zoro (and a little tiny normality by me to make her accept it) Perona was perfectly happy to lay claim to an entire room with her man. One that lorded over the entire crew, while working for her specific tastes as well. The room that smelled pretty permanently of Zoro’s sweat, since he used it as his personal gym: The Crow’s Nest.

Franky quickly set to work. Installing both a hammock and a pullout bed in one of the couch’s up in the nest. Then crafting a whole nother bed inside the women’s quarters, as well as a button to grow the bed into double decker beds, plus another that changed the sheets immediately. Natsuo and Usopp were incredibly impressed, especially by his speed, finishing after about eleven seconds of work on the beds. Robin just smiled at his efforts while Nami commented about his overeagerness, chasing him out the room as he explained he'd go and make the plans for the third button and its ability to transform both beds together into a pilotable mech. Usopp chasing her quickly after to keep the plans intact.

With no one left to bother us, I sat down on the underside of the double decker bed while Robin started getting changed from her cum covered bikini into an actual nightgown. After everything it was quite nice to kick my feet up, "Whew~ what a day. Can't believe we've been doing all this and we still got another few hours before we're even close to Fishman Island."

"Rayleigh's bubbles are certainly impressive, and I'm so glad nothing came from the deepest reaches of the ocean to kill us all." Her morbid tenacity to throw my relaxation into disarray as I remembered where we were, all while casually brushing her hair, "How was your interview? Are you officially our masseuse now?"

"It got interrupted by a certain ginger perv's machinations, but... probably," I shrugged, mind already starting to drift away into slumberland, a huge yawn ripping through my face as I lay my head down on the pillow, "Wah~ Though if I'm throwing in my life with a bunch of pirates, shouldn't I normally be able to pick my own role on the crewas long as it isn't taken?"

She smiled, sitting down on the bed next to me and running her delicate fingers in my hair, "That sounds fair to me, does Natsuo-kun have a deep desire to be a dishwasher again?"

"Oh. So tempting." I rolled my eyes at her tease with a smile, "I didn't mean anything by it, just that I wanna choose my own fate here since so much of it was previously controlled by Dragon." She frowned a little but didn't protest or anything, instead just lying in the bed next to me and snuggling up her amazing body to mine. The warming heartbeat and weight of her body felt so real against mine, nuzzling together what felt like both our souls and our bodies, "Maybe I'll just be the official pussy fucker of the Straw Hats. How about that?"

Knock Knock Knock

We both raised our heads, but before either of us could answer those that lay beyond the door had already entered and were now standing at the end of the bed.

Nami, Marguerite, and Perona all stood there with angry expressions towards me.

"Well? Are you going to have sex with us or not, official pussy fucker?"

...

...eh?