Doubt in the dark

That night, for once, the bedroom is quiet. Ferra joins you in bed, but you simply hold her close as your mind wanders. For her part, Ferra is content to simply be held, her head nestled against your chest. It’s comforting to have her there, your constant companion and lover, and knowing that she’ll be by your side calms the worst of your worries for the future.

Still, Poena’s words rattle around in your head. A battle for the fate of the world? Two champions, deciding everyone’s fate? It almost feels too melodramatic, to cliché to be real. But here you are, planning to set out for what could be the destined encounter, and risking it all on this one move. It’s such a strange thing to think about.

In the dark of night, all the little worries come to the surface. All the insecurities of the position you’ve found yourself in. What if this goes wrong? What if you get someone hurt, or worse? Supposedly no one else could do what you’re doing. But what if you can’t either? What if you’re not strong enough? What happens if you lose?

Hell, what happens if you win?!

You can’t help but think of horrible scenarios that could develop. More and more, you picture terrible things happening to you, or to those who you love. As your thoughts begin to spiral, however, a soft voice in your head snaps you back from the brink of panic.

Nicholas, stop. Your thoughts are loud. Don’t do this to yourself. Your doubts are unfounded.

Against your chest, Ferra stirs. “Lilith is correct, master. Do not doubt yourself.”

You sigh. “I wish it was that easy. I already almost got Alex killed. And the twins were not nearly as dangerous.”

Of course there’s risk. But we’re all behind you. It needs to be done.

You’re quiet for a moment, and then you give Ferra a squeeze. “I suppose you’re right, but…it’s hard not to think of what could happen.”

The golem girl lifts her head, her orange eyes glowing brightly in the darkness. “You said it yourself, master. We can not wait any longer. And you are the only one who can face him on equal terms.”

She rests her head on your chest again. “And this time, you will not fight alone, master. We will all be there. Together, nothing can stop us.”

She’s right. Now get some sleep, you goof. You’ve got a lot of walking ahead!

You chuckle, closing your eyes. “Thanks. Both of you.”