Things Are Running Smoothly This Morning

I awoke feeling somewhat sticky (not uncommon for me) but also to the sounds of shuffling downstairs. After getting the energy to open my eyes properly I found that Wiz’s cramped bed was missing its original occupant. Now just full of the three of us lazing in bed, Aqua for once being the big spoon for Kazuma who was being the big spoon for me. It was a tricky manoeuvre but I managed to slip out the bed quietly and tiptoe out the room. I wanted to get started with the day and not have to wake the two sleeping angels, even if Aqua was drooling down Kazuma’s neck.

Upon seeing me come down Wiz placed a hand upon her mouth, “Oh no! Did I wake you up?”

“No no. I’m somewhat of an early bird myself.” I replied, beginning to stretch myself out to wake up properly. “I was about to go for a quick jog to begin the day.”

Wiz beamed at me. “That sounds wonderful. It’s important to stay healthy while you can, I’m just opening up the shop before Vanir gets back from his morning pranks. I think on Saturdays he uses magic to make a group of people believe it’s Monday so they get up and feel disappointed they couldn’t lie in.”

I nodded in amusement. Of course that’s what he did.

Before I could make it out the door I was interrupted. “Um, Darkness?” called out Wiz. I turned to see her looking somewhat embarrassed, but not unhappy either. Blushing and smiling slightly, “Aren’t you going to… come say goodbye?”

My mouth couldn’t help sharing her smile when she extended her arms out to me. Marching confidently over to my wife and diving our mouths together as she giggled in happiness. I couldn’t help giving her the full make out package: lots of soft tongue on tongue action, breasts mashing lightly together, and hands roaming her body from butt to shoulders.

Once we decoupled she looked very satisfied. “Thank you.” Wiz cooed, stumbling slightly as I let her go. Though it was a ploy, as when I caught her she reached up and pecked my cheek one last time. “Enjoy your run.”

“Thanks, I’ll see you later, wife.”

My lungs filled with fresh morning air. The sun was high enough in the sky to be beaming fresh warmth down on me, while still casting enough shadows that it never felt overwhelming. As I did a lap of Axel, I could see the rest of the town starting their days as well as I walked through it, waving at a few people who I recognised. The rare sight of Succubae buying fresh fruit was a nice surprise. I often forget how impactful my words can be, and now that they had no need to hide themselves the demons were enjoying the simple life more.

Though my normalised state had some drawbacks too. Namely no one was staring at my bouncing bosoms as I wore my skin tight black top with no bra to run in. I'd probably feel too embarrassed to be ever seen again if they weren't ignoring me, but the lack of opportunity to feel that shame was still disconcerting in a strange way.

Still, it was hard to feel bad today. This was the day of mine and Kazuma's date. We hadn't really discussed it much since the night of Xara. He just vaguely asked me things about what food I'd like to eat, and any preference of timing. We'd settled on staying in Axel to eat at Michelangelo's, leaving the mansion sometime around 7 pm. I'll finally be rejected and be able to close the book on living that life.

I took a moment to look back at the town as I reached the edge of it. Currently I was by the main town gate, a few battle scars from our various encounters littering the field and letting me reminisce a little while I stretched out my body before I began. This was where the dullahan cursed me with that horrible (and annoyingly healable) curse. But I shouldn’t think too much of the past, my training was something I was proud of myself for sticking to, even in the sexual flurry my life had become.

“So, where we running to?”

“I thought we’d start with jogging to the farm estate and then circle back to the mansion.”

…

I blinked.

When I turned around I found I was much less alone than I thought I was.

Kazuma and Aqua were in their own running gear, the former in his iconic green tracksuit and the latter in a white tank top and brown pants that looked like what she used to go to work in. Though what was really strange was the fact they were both moving in a way that looked like they were stretching themselves out.

“K-Kazuma?! Aqua?! What are you two doing up so early?!” I yelped, really not expecting the two to be out here. “Are we under attack?! Did I miss the siren?!”

I received an eye roll back smile combo at me, “C’mon Darkness, can’t we just want to join you for some actual real exercise?”

Aqua nodded in agreement, “Yeah! My big loveable Darkness keeps going off all by herself every morning and I don’t want her to get upset again!”

I turned, trying to hide my teary eyed expression from them but I heard giggles that I clearly hadn’t hid it well enough. “I-I see..” I choked back my feelings and took a breath. “I would love the company, so thank you both. But I must ask, when was the last time you did some… ‘real exercise’?”

“We ran from Xara the other night and then after kidnapped Kazuma yesterday!” Aqua protested, “Give us a little credit, Darkness! We aren’t THAT out of shape!”

“Blerg…” Aqua groaned in my arms, a thin dribble of rainbow vomit still present on her lips after her violent outburst some minutes ago. “I shouldn’t have eaten all that chocolate and cum before we started…”

“No, you really shouldn’t have.” I sighed. Truthfully it wasn’t that annoying, trudging through the grasslands with a goddess in arms was probably just as much a workout as a run would be, I just worry about Aqua hurting herself from improper training. “Just tell me when you’re feeling well enough to walk again, okay?”

“Uhh, sure… will do…” She replied, looking rather shiftily around before snuggling into my arms a little closer.

“We could always try and wrangle some of those wild horses over there.” Kazuma suggested, pointing at a large harass of horses that were grazing amongst the trees.

I raised my eyebrow. “We?”

He slumped a little closer to my back. “Fine… you would need to do it...” He grumbled. Kazuma had been looking a little down ever since his legs had also given out, especially after teasing Aqua for it. Luckily I… remembered I normally kept a spare walking saddle near to where we were at the time, meaning Kazuma was able to sit on a small wooden seat that was strapped to my back. To him he might have thought I was being humiliated, but again, I wasn’t that bothered. The extra weight felt good and the closeness of the three of us was rather pleasant. Aqua in my arms, Kazuma sat on a seat attached to my back, it was great!

“How the hell do you do it, Darkness?" Kazuma sighed, "How can you keep going for so many miles? You're a freaking beast.”

Before I could think of any response, the goddess began squeezing my arms. “It’s probably these wonderfully thick things. Darkness~, Darkness~, she's so strong~”

“Aqua, please don’t tease me about my muscles.”

“I’m not teasing!” She protested, squeezing me a little harder. “They’re beautiful. You get to be as hard as Kazuma’s penis but all the time!”

I frowned down at her. Liking the attention only a little bit. “Yes, well… traditionally, pretty girls aren’t… built like me.”

“Tradition shmershmisshion.” Kazuma dismissed eloquently, “You think you’re not hot cause of how much of you there is?” He was suddenly on the attack as well, kneeling on the saddle chair and wrapping his arms around my torso. His hands delicately tracing my abs while he was breathing hot air into my skin as his teeth ground very gently into my neck. “Ain’t no other type a’ girl but muscle that’ll give you a piggy back while still having the strength to let you mess with them all the way.”

“S-stop it…” I whined very weakly, “I-I’ll drop you two…”

“What kind of crusader would drop her friends in need?” He hissed evilly into my neck, “No, I say this is training for you. We have fun with your body while you exercise. That’s your perfect morning workout, isn’t it?”

My whole being shuddered in anticipation, “Oh god… it is…. you know me so well…” I mewled, suddenly very aware of how close he was to me and how I could feel his tracksuit bulge growing.

Unceremoniously, Aqua lifted up my shirt to look at my six-pack. “If that's how Darkness wants to have fun then I can play with your muscles all I want to too!” She beamed, and I yelped out when she suddenly kissed my abs deeply.

“A-Aqua! I-I’m still all sweaty from the run!”

Her kiss only picked up intensity, adding her tongue to really dive deep between my stomach muscles. “Mm, still as tasty as ever!” She purred, going from ab to ab kissing deeply like she needed to meet each and every one of them individually.

Kazuma was similarly ruthless. Still sucking on my neck, his hands had continued Aqua’s work of lifting my shirt to start roaming even further upwards. “She’s fucking right, your sweat is goddamn addicting.” Kazuma said as he licked my neck skin. He was dedicated to showing my hard body a good time, for once ignoring my massive mounds to start delicately divulging my bevy of brawn. Feeling his fingers tightly pressed up against my shirt as they reached all the way into my armpits and sleeves.

For as hard and unbreakable my muscles could be, they were incredibly weak when it came to light foreplay. I could only moan at the double attacks the two were hitting me with. Sounding just like an overworked animal (like the cow that we happened to be passing). My legs were walking on their own functions while my brain focused on the attention I was receiving. I am a servant needing to be played with, these were my master’s who deserved to be carried home. Ah~ This was definitely going in my dream book~

But the real struggle came when the two upped the ante at the same time.

Kazuma, who had been mostly resting his weight on my rear after moving his arms under my shirt, began shuffling around to get more comfy and inadvertently rubbing his junk all up and down my back. Feeling how hard and eager he was in a spot so rarely touched was so amazing, the cleft of my back's contours shivering with pleasure at the girth being pressed into it. Aqua took a much more literal approach, still taking the time to lick my stomach but also slipping her hand into my panties to rub me directly.

I buckled a little when she abruptly entered me, gasping a little since it made a hard dick rub up against my spine.

“Ooh, prehaps the Lady Dustiness doesn’t have unlimited strength after all?” He teased right into my ear. Even going so far as to maul my chest and dig his fingers deep into my sensitive fatty tissue to watch me buckle and whine once more. My huge pointed nipples being easily seen through the strained black fabric of my top, “Seeing you like this is the best. Cake: Big strong girl at my mercy. Icing on top: hearing all these cute reactions to teasing you.”

“Y-yeah?” I squeaked back in return. Really struggling to walk with Aqua’s fingers going as deep as they like.

“Darkness is always cute, Kazuma.” Aqua shot back, taking the opportunity to motorboat my sweaty stomach and lick up her messy face of my delicious liquids after. Not helped when she activated her spell to make my abs as sensitive as my pussy, sending my toughness into spasms. “But I do like it when she gets all flustered cause she’s enjoyyying something I’m doing too much. You really like where my fingers are, don’t you Darkness?”

I could only nod. Opening my mouth would confirm in too grandiose a fashion for my honour to handle. Unfortunately, Kazuma noticed too and suddenly bit my earlobe while hissing, “Say it!”

“AAHHHIIIII L-LLLLOove where your finnnngerrsss AH~! -RE Aquaaaaa~”

The Goddess beamed up at me while Kazuma kissed my sensitive ear better. Mean. These two are too mean. Wonderfully, powerfully mean. My walking is down to one step a minute while I try to plod forward.

The two were just too knowledgeable in how to increase my heat and make me mad with lust. I suppose it was my fault for training them so well. My lewd students had become degenerate masters.

“Hey Aqua~,” Kazuma's voice slithered behind me, “I just realised we haven’t milked our dear cow this morning. She must be feeling oh-so full right now.” I could hear the perverted sneer in his voice as his hands slid my top even further up till my braless breasts were unveiled. I tried to shake my head no, knowing it would be the end of me, but everyone including myself ignored my protest as areolas were dragged out into the open air.

It took barely a second before Aqua licked her chops, hungrily yelling “MINE!” and chomping down on my bosom. I yelped in surprise and release, a jet of my milk already bursting into her mouth and splattering her tongue. I suppose I was more backed up then I’d realised, and the sudden feelings made me stop in place on shaky legs.

“What’s the matter Lalatina?” Kazuma chuckled while manipulating my one Aqualess breast with his hand. “You looked down on us for not being very fit, yet here you are barely standing from just having your titties teased. Sounds to me like you need to hit the gym.”

I couldn’t even respond. A long drawn out groan escaped me as my breast milk was either suckled from or squeezed out of my nipples. His fingers mauling my supple tissue so expertly you’d think he was the farmer. Part of me did want to prove him wrong, and we were so close to the mansion you might’ve been able to see it if you squint, but I knew this couldn’t last much longer.

With one final push from their hands in all the right places, I exploded in pleasure. Collapsing to my knees as my various liquids ejected from me along with a scream of ecstasy. And to make matters worse, I came just as the farmer and his wife were passing us. The shame of the two onlookers made my orgasm that little more pronounced. The large muscled titan that I am, on her knees, shaking to her core from the wild feelings she was defeated with.

Kazuma and Aqua were just giggling to themselves. Lying in the grassy field, commenting about the way I look and throwing playful jabs about my red face and failure to keep going.

I’d had just about enough of being on the defensive.

“You really want to see what my muscles can do?”

Kazuma was the one who looked at me first, laughter stopping instantly. "Oh my god, Aqua run."

He quickly bolted for the trees and activated his lurk skill.

Aqua was not so lucky.

It took the two of us an extra hour to reach the mansion. Though she whined about it at first, I think we both really enjoyed the display of my strength. Spanking her large jiggly butt, bending her around my body to trap her face between my thighs while kissing her bulbous rear better, and eventually just scissoring in the open plains until we both came. Sweaty and satisfied after such a magnificent work out.

"Mistress Darkness! I've done it!"

I had barely been through the door five minutes. Aqua had already run off to use the bath after 'such an intense run', and now Sena had burst through her bedroom door to greet me. She looked dishevelled, tired, a little bit manic if I had to admit. I blinked back in surprise. "Uhh, great! W-what did you do?"

"Body checks." She revealed. The ex-prosecutor smiling proudly as she leant her exhausted body against the door. "Every. Single. Succubus. All the ones in Xara's employ, and Xara herself, are now completely documented properly. I'm sorry if I seem out of sorts but it was a long journey. So many pussies to lick, so many orgasms for myself, but for now, the body checks are... done."

The woman practically fell into my arms. A soup of melted and exhausted woman, clearly smelling from lack of time to take care of herself after taking care of my harem so much.

I...

I still hadn't told her about the monsters we got to join the harem too...

"Um, Sena... about that..."

"It's okay," Sena said suddenly, squeezing me supportively, "I know you probably have more work for me to do. It's funny, for a workaholic like myself this is an absolute dream come true." She sighed wistfully, "besides, I picked up some extra items to help with body inspections yesterday from our wife's shop. They made the second half of the body checks go absolutely... swimmingly." Her voice practically oozed that word out. So much husky desire from her memories of the body checks.

"Really? What were the item-"

"Vanir will be arriving soon." She suddenly said while leaving our embrace, "There's a few things I need to have him sign as your business associate, and something he wished to discuss with you too. So please don't go anywhere until then."

The workaholic was already walking back to her room informing me of the rest of my morning. "Sure thing, Sena. Meet you in the main room." She bowed at me with a big smile and walked off. I had just enough time to change out of my own sweaty clothing in my room too.

When I entered the parlour, Kazuma was fiddling with something on the table while a few succubae watched him work. It was almost strange that he hadn't decided to continue going balls deep into one of them, but none seemed too bothered by his actions.

“What are you up to over there, Kazuma?”

He looked over his shoulder and grinned when he saw me. “Darkness! Check it out, with our super cool harem connections, I finally have a new business idea!” He announced before spinning around and presenting himself to me. “Check it out! It’s an idea I wanted to do for a while but never had the sewing or textile experience to do so.”

Kazuma showed his chest off proudly, wearing a piece of clothing with a strange design on the front. Like he was wearing a painting on the front of his clothes that had the writing ‘Axel Hearts’ on the front with images of Lia, Cielo, and Erika all posing cutely.

“I call it a ‘Graphic T-Shirt’. All you have to do is find a design you want, then bring it to the Spider Weaver at the Succubus Café, and she can make a piece of clothing with your design sewed into the front!” He beamed, seemingly very excited about the prospect. “I used to wear these things all the time with all the various shows and games I had on them. I guess this worl-er, land, has too many monsters and too much armour to worry about lame fashion. But now I can wear all the comfy shirts I want while promoting the Axel Hearts! It’s perfect! And sooo comfy cause it's made of spider-silk!”

It was cute seeing him like this. Proudly displaying something that he made, and I felt such genuine happiness that I helped him smile like that through the harem. “I’m glad you’re happy, Kazuma. And it’s certainly an amazing idea, I think I might design a graphic tee for myself at some point.”

He smiled at my praise. “Thanks, and yeah you should! Though I gotta recommend, get one for wearing out and then get a BIG one for lazing about. Nothing nicer than a huge t-shirt to just do nothing all day in.”

“Kazuma’s a lazing about expert!” Said a Succubus on our couch. “We already all got his fancy new clothing with our own designs on them.”

A little fashion parade suddenly kicked off as the sexy girls who lived with us all got up one by one to show off the designs they chose for the weaver. All of their t-shirts… well, they were all the same theme, I’ll say that much.

“This one’s a picture of King Kazuma doing a thinking pose cause he’s sooo smart.”

“This one’s an image of the moment when Queen Xara realised that King Kazuma was the one for her when he blew his load on her face.”

“Mine’s just an image of me with the words ‘Kazuma’s bitch’ while I’m covered in his cum!”

“I went a bit different with mine. This T-Shirt is made of latex, is super tight, and the nipples and crotch are cut out.”

“I don’t think that counts anymore Lacy.”

“Well, I hope my King doesn’t mind too much…?”

Kazuma was staring at Lacy's body with wide unblinking eyes. Only shaking himself out of it when Lacy flicked her exposed nipple at him. "I'll allow it." He coughed before going back to the table he was originally working on. "Anyway, I'm gonna go to town and give some more designs over to the weaver, as well as pick up that thing you wanted me to get." Kazuma said, gathering some scraps of paper and cloth into a bag, then looking over to me. "Want me to make you a T-shirt or two?"

I looked over the parade of demons with Kazuma's face tightly pinned against their bodies. "Hmm, I'll take a 'Kazuma's Bitch' one, why not." I shrugged with a smile.

"Alright, I'll make that the going outside T-shirt. But you sure you don't want a non-sexy design for the bigger, lazing about one? Like a favourite character in a book or band?"

I pondered the unexpected question briefly. Was there something I wanted to show off my connection to like that? In terms of bands, the Axel Hearts were my precious friends, but I never thought I was as eager as some of their rabid fans... A book though? There was that famous woman knight in a story I loved when I was young. But pictures of her are so sparse. Who else...

"Eris." I finally decided, "Though I know my relationship to her has mildly changed, I'd still like to show my goddess respect in some way."

He smiled and nodded, "One Eris branded extra extra extra large t-shirt to contain all of Lalatina's bulging muscles coming right up!" He declared, dodging my thrown pillow at him before waving goodbye from the doorframe, "See ya later! Looking forward to our date!"

I slumped down on the couch in multiple embarrassments, my blushing face sighing briefly before a cup of tea was suddenly in front of it.

Looking up, I saw the smiling face of the pink haired succubus that so often played receptionist to the café. Still as buxom as ever but now wearing a black T-shirt with the same pink succubus mark that is above Xara's mons reading 'Kazuma was here' amongst the heart and lines. Admittedly it was a pretty artistic T-shirt compared to some of the smut.

"Here you go mistress," She said warmly, "I don't know if we've formally met yet, but I'm Dhysana. I'm sort of Xara's number two when she's out of town."

"Nice to meet you properly," I smiled, giving her hand a quick squeeze as I took the cup of tea out her hands. Mango and lemon, my favourite blend. A perfect mix of sweet and sour to energise you after a work out, "Smells lovely, thank you."

Dhysana beamed at my praise, "I'm glad! Kazuma said it was your favourite so he must know you well. It's surprising this is your first real date tonight considering how close you two are." I smiled and nodded, I hadn't the heart to tell her it was more a formal break up than a proper date but I was still looking forward to it anyway. As sweet as this demon was, her default seductions seemed to be going off, as she began rubbing my shoulders and pressing her sizeable mounds into my neck, "We'll get out of your hair soon. But if you need any help getting ready for your lovely date lady, I'd be more than willing to help."

"Tea and massage... is already pretty helpful..." I quietly moaned into her touch before she lightly pecked my neck and peeled away. "Thank you Dhysana, I might take you up on that offer later."

"I look forward to it, Mistress." She nodded with a bow, guiding her fellow Succubae out the window "Perhaps I can even learn how to tease you as well as Kazuma does." The pink haired woman winked at me before taking off.

I half chuckled as I watched her fly off into the mid-morning sun, sipping some more of my tea in the brief respite of aloneness, "Kazuma certainly loves to push all my buttons. He seems to be making a habit of it...

"He certainly is. Moi can deeply respect his insistence to keep you leaking tasty feelings of shame."

"Good morning to you too, Vanir," I shrugged off his attempts at deepening my embarrassment. The masked demon had walked in easily for once, with no goddess barrier to block him. Sena and a stack of paperwork following along behind as we all headed to the dinner table, after a brief farewell to Dhysana and the other Succubae.

We set about signing the work Sena gave us. It wasn't a flashy or sexy day at all, so I won't bore anyone with the details. Joining the harem requests, new expenditures from the shops we owned, confirmations on body checks, and going over a few minor plans going forward with Vanir. He was very good at keeping it professional when he needed to, and I think he enjoyed keeping his mind working on various tasks. Perhaps this project appealed to him. Always hard to say about the demon in the mask.

Eventually the paperwork slowed enough to let me finish my tea, "I'd ask if you have any questions about what we were up to yesterday Vanir, but I get the sense I don't need to."

"Moi does keep tabs on you, yes." He nodded, lounging back with a nonplussed shrug. "The large brute of an ex-general you ensnared was never Moi's favourite, but her unique physiology is certainly interesting enough to be studied. Moi can already see several futures where her powers to change human's bodies could be used for the most delicious of feelings."

"Another ex-general?" Sena asked, frowning worryingly. "That's a potential problem for the Harem Knight Gala..."

"The what?"

"..." She stared at me. Her face started growing darker, and a pit began forming in my stomach. "...Mistress Darkness. You already signed off on this."

The panic in my heart was rising, "...I did?"

"Yes." Sena replied bluntly, instantly producing a piece of paper with my signature on it. "On the eve of the crescent moon, Sunday the 26th, you are cordially invited to bring your Harem Knights and any other member of you harem you deem appropriate to a royal gala. This event shall be hosted by the royal family, with an appearance by Princess Iris Belzerg Stylish Sword herself."

"I-Iris?!"

"Don't worry. No sexual activity is allowed with the princess present," she continued, making my heart calm, "But we have already agreed to go to this tomorrow. You, Aqua, and King Master Satou Kazuma must attend or risk losing your funding as Harem Knights. All you have to do is show up and chat with other Knights to update the capitol on your progress as a harem. And speaking off the record I have to say, you have nothing to worry about in terms of your immense progress these last few days."

Lose our funding? Well, I can always change the rules of the universe to fit what I need, but... "I think we can handle a gala. It is just one night, and it would be nice to see Iris again."

She nodded in relief, "Indeed. I'm glad you are so reasonable mistress, I hear some Knights refuse to attend out of ego or boredom and end up losing their licences. Though I will ask from now on to please read all my paperwork I give you." Her eyebrow had such an angry twitch to it I dare not even speak a defence.

"This is all well and good, but Moi has something to say as well." Vanir huffed, then pointed at me. "Moi has been 'watching your back' sufficiently, correct?"

I nodded, "Absolutely. I can't thank you enou-"

"Then you should help Moi with the next... big problem." He said, indicating I should know what that problem is. After a moment of confused silence he rolled his eyes, "The next big problem to do with Moi's... condition." ... "A certain lonesome Crimson Demon who will soon be arriving back to Axel and making Moi's life a living hell?"

"Oh! Yunyun!" I snapped my fingers in realisation, "I knew she was a problem for you!"

He growled in irritation, "Well of course she is!" He barked, "Even from here, miles away, I can't help but sense the edges of her **** loneliness! The mucus in my nose is ready to drip and if Moi has to live with her any closer Moi will LOSE IT!" He roared while standing up from the table.

"Okay, okay." I said, raising my hands up to calm the angry demon while Sena shrank back in fear. "Why didn't you try anything with, you know, the relics?" I said, trying to wink at him while not giving away any info to do with my earrings.

He sat back down in a huff, "Of course Moi tried that. You think Moi as stupid as the soiled blue haired fool? You humans and your feelings can only be tempered so long by a normalcy command to stop feeling it. Removing the forever pitiable Crimson Demon's loneliness was but a single bandage on a gushing wound of... feelings. Her solo soul a predetermined fate. She is an abnormality. A creature seemingly destined for loneliness by the very heavens."

Abnormality caused the earrings to not work? I suppose that might make sense. Things being 'normal' was certainly a vague enough term that it could mean anything... but this was a conversation for a time not in front of Sena.

Instead I grabbed a blank notebook and started writing. "If that's the case, then we'll have to try other methods to get her feeling better." I mumbled while writing, he tried to peer over my shoulder but as soon as he was in a good enough position I was done and handed it to him, "Get her to read this instruction booklet on how to make friends. Normally everything she reads will become reality as soon as she's read it."

My hand felt the immense power in his limbs as he swiped the book from me, "Moi appreciates your work ethic girl-who-refuses-to-accept-she-might-be-happy!" He loudly and happily exclaimed, jumping up from his chair, "Moi shall travel to the Crimson Demon village post-haste! The sooner this problem is removed, the better life shall be for everyone!"

He made a bolt for the window, clearly ready to jump down without even bothering with the stairs, it was only Sena who managed to stop him. "Hey! I still need your signature for things!" She yelled, Vanir looking annoyed at the lack of dramatic exit.

With a snap of his fingers, a tiny Vanir doll appeared holding a pen. The ones he usually used when attacking foes by making them explode. "This is an extension of Moi's body and therefore can act as my eyes, ears, and hand while I am away. Just don't toUCH IT!"

BANG

My hand stung so beautifully at the explosion. Nothing else had been damaged bar a singed table thanks to my defence stat, but Vanir did have to conjure another one. "Don't touch it." He growled. I refused to apologise. "Now, Moi is off. Though perhaps, girl, instead of being a nuisance you could come up with new ways to help your harem." He frowned, his words hurting harder than the explosion, as I slunk down apologetically, "there's a myriad of dangerous devices you've barely touched. Delivered directly from your own Goddess no less! Moi's sure you could come up with something fun. Now, fare thee well!" He loudly proclaimed before jumping from our balcony and running off down the street with his extra long limbs.

He is right though. I shouldn't be providing Sena more trouble, and those relics Chris gave us have been sitting around since they were used against us in the fight with Xara. After signing a couple more papers from Sena, I grabbed the briefcase that was sitting by the door and brought it over to the table.

"Is he gone?" Asked Aqua, slinking into the room. After a quick look she entered properly, wearing only a bath towel and a Chomusuke in her arms, "Ugh, so glad that loser is out of here. Sexy demon girls I can handle, but his stench is too much. I really have to develop an anti-Vanir barrier."

I was too busy looking at our relics to comment. The stopwatch was seemingly still with Kazuma, probably too smart to let that go too far from him, and the earrings were still with me. Though there was still one thing in here that drew my eye.

“Oh yeah, 'The Calendar'.”

This was the relic where you could write anything on a day in the calendar and have it become reality. On the card, Chris had written that it had previously been used to create days of parades for the owner, or a day where breasts were mandatorily exposed. Personally, we hadn’t really gotten much use out of this relic compared to the others. Something about changing only one entire day hadn't appealed to me when the earrings and pen could be used for more minor and permanent changes. The one thing I had put in, 'Breeding Day at the Guild', was slated for tomorrow, though Sena had added the Harem Knight Gala afterwards. Did that change reality? I honestly have no idea. I wasn't as 'attuned' to this as Vanir was so there's a chance I'm as susceptible to its effects as everyone else. Or it doesn't work at all... maybe I should use it on today, just to make sure it isn’t an awful piece of junk.

As I was thinking about what to write, something caught my eye.

“Has someone already written my birthday into this?”

“Ohh! That was me!” Aqua beamed in pride. “I made sure to add everyone’s in! You can trust in the accuracy, I remember all the dates perfectly!”

She was right, Aqua had lined up every birthday exactly as they should. Kazuma’s Au-March birthday, (why did I think it was August?) Mine in Apri-Februrary. (Again, I was definitely born in February…) And on Oc-November 2nd was Megumin’s…

“19th Birthday?” I mumbled, studying the calendar intensely like something was wrong.

“Oh yeah…” Aqua trailed off awkwardly. “Um, I wasn’t 100% sure with ages since human years sort of confuse me… you’re all basically the same age, yeah?”

I… I think so, yeah. We were all 18-19 and had been this whole year we’d known each other. Megumin was definitely the youngest, but we had been a party of relatively the same age. Hadn’t we been? Me and Kazuma are 19 now but Megumin is going to join us next month… right? Why am I feeling so confused by this…?

Oh well. Aqua knows what she’s doing, she did get all the dates right, so the ages have to be right too! Didn’t realise Yunyun’s birthday was the day after Megumin’s though… maybe that’s why one never attended the other’s.

Aqua even included the old ‘Worship Aqua Day’ we’ve had for so long. The day we all gather together and become Axis members for just a little while on April 1st. I guess it makes sense she forgot the ‘Worship Eris Day’ that was brought in alongside it hours into Worship Aqua Day, but I’m sure she didn’t do it on purpose.

I shook birthdays from my mind to write what I wanted to write on today’s date.

Something very fun for Kazuma as he completed his mission around town, though I added a time limit to not mess with our date.

Maid Day (9:00am-5:00pm).

A/N: Been a while since I did one of these. Lots of future set up this chapter but hopefully this is still enjoyable to y'all. And yes, this is how Megumin/Yunyun are now older.

The first half of this with the running and muscle appreciation was a somewhat requested section from A03, which is where I also post this. I bring this up just to say that there's a couple bonus works on there that I was commissioned to do. So if you want more Konosuba content from me then check these out:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38077324

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41202399