Aubrey figures things out

Having a new body was jarring. Being in a new world was terrifying. And being stranded alone in the middle of nowhere?

…It was kinda nice, actually.

Cordelia’s cottage was based in a clearing, its worn exterior and surrounding foliage looking beautiful under the morning sun. Farther away Aubrey could hear river sounds and the occasional bird call, hidden behind distant, towering trees of warm fall colors.

Aubrey had just managed to cram her enticingly large rear into one of the garden chairs, her altered form clad in a simple-yet-elegant dress, almost prudish aside for how form-fitting it insisted on being, paired with a fluffy shawl and a short set of heeled boots. Decorating her visage was a delightfully intimidating scowl—a cross of Aubrey’s frustrations and her new body’s icy features.

She was staring down a stack of Cordelia’s note, everything Aubrey could find on “wild magic,” general magic, and ways to keep wild magic from interfering with general magic. They were not helpful.

“So, let’s see if I’m getting this right,” Aubrey said to herself. “Wild magic is… A mutation some sorcerers get. And it makes their magic… Silly.”

As stupid as it was, ‘silly’ was the only word that felt right. In all the notes Aubrey poured through, in all the research Cordelia put together, every single instance of wild magic happening could best be described as jarringly unserious.

Clothes turning into butterflies was just one example. Aubrey found mention of people turning into potted plants, horrible music playing from nowhere, and… Spontaneous dryad orgies?

Is it me, or are some of these weirdly horny?

Aubrey shook her head. Wild magic was random and unpredictable—of course some of the effects would be more, ah, “adult” than others…

‘The target of the spell was recorded as becoming an erotic painting of herself. This was not the intended effect of the spell.’

‘The caster, and everyone within approximately 100 feet of the caster, experienced powerful orgasms that lasted several minutes.’

‘The original spell was replaced with Black Tentacles, centered on the caster.’

Aubrey’s face turned bright red. Okay, yeah, no, wild surges were really, really, really horny. There was no written explanation for this—as far as Cordelia’s theories went, absolutely anything could happen with wild magic—it just so happened, out of every possible outcome whatsoever, most of them were like this.

But, silver lining! Wild magic only happened once in a while; around one spell in twenty. Otherwise, they resolved exactly as they were supposed to. Meaning Aubrey just got unlucky that first time.

Meaning Aubrey could cast Plane Shift again and everything would probably be okay.

She bolted up from her chair, a beautiful ol’ smile on her face. This was good! Really, really good! The naked butterfly thing from earlier was just a minor hiccup, nothing to worry about. Aubrey could just try another spell, hop back home, and pretend none of this ever happened. Easy!

She stuck her hand out. She took a deep breath. And, pointedly, stopped the incantation halfway through.

Okay, but, like, wait. Nothing would go wrong, statistically speaking. Aubrey knew this… But what if things went wrong anyway?

Then what, she was just gonna wait around here and do nothing?

No, no. She’d just study Cordelia’s books. Maybe there was a cure for wild magic…

And how long would that take? Days? Months? She didn’t have time!

But could she afford the risks? What if she turned into a walking pair of boobs? Or—

“Shut. Up!” Aubrey took a sharp breath and slapped both her cheeks. As far as she cared, everything already went wrong. There was zero chance she’d have two wild surges in a row.

…Right?

She just had to ease into it. Make sure she knew what she was doing.

Slowly, carefully, she thought back on Cordelia’s simpler spells, and threw a hand forward.

A loaf of bread appeared on the garden table.

So far so good. She tried again, going for something a bit more complicated.

With a loud crack, spears of ice burst from the ground, growing five, ten, fifteen feet tall.

Aubrey squeaked in surprise, before easing into another smile. “Alright. I’ll admit it. Magic’s pretty fantastic.”

Finally, she threw both hands forward, and recalled the plane shift incantation. Another brilliant gold ring appeared in the air…

Then it shattered, like before.

“Oh no…” Aubrey whispered. “Oh no, oh no, oh no…”

The air cackled with pretty, rainbow-colored electricity.

“Seriously? Seriously!?”