Dragging On

Everything seemed to drag on. Not just the hunger, but everything else too.

Your confusion; every day you mourned your memories as if you'd lost a dear friend as if you were a puzzle with pieces missing.

The thought of it was becoming even more daunting than before, sure you remembered pieces but the uncertainty of it pushed you off the rails.

Your haste to find relationships; was fun at first, new and invigorating. But now it just felt wrong and a little hollow, like a picture out of focus. The foundation of passion was there, but no clear direction, no point of origin.

But worst of all was that no matter how hard you tried, You couldn't sleep without strange dreams and unwaking hours.

The very make-up of your daily rhythm: wake, eat, work, eat, sleep, was violently disturbed. The thought of food made your stomach churn unpleasantly and without the blissful pause of sleep, of dreams, everything became a strange blur of action and reaction. It made things feel small and insignificant, that life was only really just a story with one writer alone: Time, Time was the only thing that mattered, and it would never truly end.

"Will you, stop doing that creepy blank face and answer me!?"

You blinked, sat in the chair, you'd been staring intently at the monitors for a while now. The Girls had started talking between themselves. You intended to simply sit and wait for Jane's breaking to begin, but you got lost somewhere on the way.

A slight sting accompanied a deep ache in your left eye and cheek.

All three, Rudy, Cleo and especially Muninn had moved close to show the concerned look on their faces. "What's the matter?" You whispered, stretching the stillness out of your muscles.

The blonde leant in "You've been sitting like that for 25 minutes, face completely blank."

You chuckled, raising your wrist to look at your watch "What are you talking about, it's only been a few-" It had been 30 minutes since you last saw the time on one of the monitors. "Oh?"

"Oh? oh!?" You didn't recall Cleo ever looking so quietly curious "Something is wrong, it's clear enough to see that something is wrong, it's like..." she paused, the others remained silent "...You're slipping away, every time I see you it's like looking at a ghost. Tell us what is happening and don't just stand there like absolutely nothing is wrong" No creeping this time, the dark beauty move closer sliding over the edge of the table to tightly grip your hand.

Moonie looked at you, a storm in her eyes "Let us help you." She whispered.

You lent forward, leaning into your knuckles which rested on the desk "I got myself into this, it... isn't anything to do with you, none of you." You spoke quietly, that power taken from your voice "If you get hurt..." You looked at them, all three of them "...I will do everything in my power to protect you."

"We know that." Moonie was much more intimate than Cleo, invading your space, clutching your arm "You are our Family. We will always be with you, for best or worst."

Rudy grinned at you, it was not an innocent one, it told You "Either you tell them, or I do."

"I didn't know I was undead... maybe just something like it. For so long I felt, human, then it all came crashing down with all I learned with Hilde and Diana; A world on top of a world, but that wasn't the hardest part of it. I can't stop thinking about it you know?" You smiled a little dozily "Just this vapid, dry feeling inside, that nothing else can stop it. Every other person you meet is just... mouthwatering." You gazed off into nothing, it was as if the image were dancing on the hardwood floor in front of you.

Soft hands captured your neck, suddenly your vision was filled with Muninn's silky face. she observed you carefully, a shadowy look in her eyes, the white root pattern in them gleaming consciously before catching on something that she didn't like.

"No."

You hadn't seen Moonie look so concerned, so consumed with quiet worry "Not Frenzy." she nearly demanded before scrunching her nose, lips drawing tight as her hands rushed out to shove you hard, the blows harder than you expected.

"You bloody idiot, you've been hiding frenzy from us?" The Raven spat.

"It..." You didn't want to lie to them "Do you know what it's like?"

Rudy went eerily silent, staring off with a very conscious reserve. Cleo shook her head, a fowl look crossed her silver face, her black hardly underlining her cold white eyes.

You could feel the fear within her and reached out to stop her from charging off. She froze the minute your fingers touched her "I need to know if you know what it's like Cleo... can you hear it, calling softly into your ear? like a..."

"-Whisper?" Cleo spoke, her tone venomous "We all know what it's like, Charlie. We have survived for a long time, the things some of us have done because we didn't want to accept what we are, and it always ends the same way. You think you're special because you're a little thirsty?"

Moonie silently agreed, with her stance and the seriousness in her face.

"We have raked through endless fields of Humans, stripping bone from flesh, fiesting on anyone or anything we could find." She took your arm back tighter than you took hers, there was a wild look in her crimson eyes. "Do you know what real hunger is? it's walking to through cobbled towns past a lonely pub where no eyes are watching, the smell alone is maddening enough to drain the vein of every mortal in there, they are so soft and ****, so unimaginably scrumptious and you haven't fed in weeks. I had drunk them all dry and crush them into oblivion in minutes, the men and the women, if you did that... crossed that line, do you really think you'd make it back?"

■ You can't top me Loverboy ■ She crept along to your shoulder, drizzling dark blood on your shoulder, her face dripping in scarlet as her talons gripped hard against the muscles in your collar ■ I'm staying right here, it's you and me from now on. Absolutely nothing will keep us apart. ■

Keeping focus was difficult, but you tried to stay present. "How do I control it?"

"Pft, It can't ever be controlled, Cowboy," Rudy spoke very clearly, almost focused.

"Just managed." Muninn agreed, looking like she was about to beg you harder then she had ever begged before "I want you to stay with us, I've seen what happens to the unlucky ones. I won't see it again, not with you. You're what we need right now, we are all here because we believe in you." She drew closer, her glowing red lips catching your eye.

"Then how do I manage it?" Muninn gave you the softest smile then.

"We're probably gonna need to consult an Expert." the Blonde said with a grin like red moonlight.

Cleo sneered "You better not be saying what I think you are, Moonie?"

The Raven smiled quite deviously, her cheeks creasing mischievously.

"No, absolutely not." Cleo insisted dryly.

"I wasn't asking for your opinion Clo. Without Grimnir, I'd have been a Red Watcher by now, and so would Henry."

The Umbral Vampire said little, but wrapped a midnight lock in her icy pale finger, clearly thoughtful.

Muninn nodded as if to correct the jumbled confidence of what she was about to ask, grey eyes shining, lips curved alluringly "We don't want you to fall, because of something like this. Frenzy is not a worthy enemy, not for you." Her hands interlocked with yours, cool and calming "You can be stronger than this."

"I don't even know what I am." You whispered, honestly.

"...And ya'll think we do?" Rudy let the word slip out and cut your excuse like a blade. They had all felt it, or at least some form of it, the Whisper that ruled us all.

You were used to accepting wrongs, but this one was especially tricky, a big dripping fuck you of a wrong that would be difficult to set free. But if there was a way to help then maybe the whisper would stop and clarity would rule your mind once again, where joy came easily, without the worry for the pursuit of blood and how it shivers through you, commanding you in a glittering need to sink your teeth into warm flesh.

An image burned in your mind, one of a tall man with a thick but neatly trimmed beard, his starlight silver eyes burning behind thin glasses, settling in a beautiful white chair after insisting that you follow him to the lounge. You sat beside him, as He pressed a plastic back full of ice cubes against your bruised face.

"Ah, that hurts."

"I know."

"I-I fought back this time, I-mean I tried to."

_"I know, Charlie." _He repeated, the flaming hearth painting his hard face with soft orange light.

You paused, however, looking off in shame, the way he dealt with things with the principal, getting one of your bullies expelled felt like a failure to meet expectations, his expectations.

"There were too many, and they are bigger than me, I-I'm sorry, I wasn't strong enough to do anything."

Roman Drake remained like a statue, his face frozen, eyes like stars watching impartially from above... perhaps already having died a long time ago, their image merely the drawn-out distance; an afterimage of the father you were meant to have.

But something changed then, something you hadn't forgotten since, He lent in slowly as if approaching something dangerous, his huge hand slipping around your nape as he pulled you into his chest. His head was warm as it rested on yours, the distant stars covered by the clouds of his eyelids, leaving only the gentle darkness behind.

"You are my son, because You are strong. You are Strong, because you are my son."

Looking at Cleo, Rudy, and Muninn, You nodded "I'll see the Expert, I want... I need, Your help. All of you." You whispered, peering at the screen again, seeing Jane's inanimate body held down by the heavy restraints.

Moonie gripped your hand tighter within the cage of her cold fingers, Rudy smirked elusively from the corner of her lips, while Cleo sighed in a strange kind of grumpy resolve "I'll scout ahead, The blood god only knows how badly this could go."

"Thank you, clo. Trust me, this is a good idea." Moonie reassured her friend. The Dark vixen kissed her lips, vanishing in a sudden gust of enormous speed, making your hair flail across your faces.

The Wendigo lept to her feet "Rudy thinks, that went well! come on then sourlips, let's get ourselves to the rodeo"

"I don't think so 'Sourlips'" Moonie protested lightly, taking your arm.

"Rudy knows the Birdie doesn't think, then again I don't recall asking yer opinion, Missy, Rudy hasn't seen a proper night on the town in many a year, that's unless the big man here objects?" The Southern bell chimed twitchily.

"Just as long as you don't eat anybody..." You paused "As long as we don't eat anybody."