Cue the Waitress

PAIGE HALLIWELL! That’s why that name was so familiar!

“Oh~! You were part of the Senior class when I subbed to teach English at Stella’s High School.” You say out loud in realization.

“You were a teacher before Mr. Craig? I didn’t know that about you. You’re wiki didn’t mention—” Maddy asks in surprise, before stopping herself mid-sentence. “I mean…” Maddy tries to explain, a bit embarrassed to admit she’s read your wiki page it seems. You kind of assumed she would have read your wiki anyway. She openly admits to being your fan, so that wouldn’t be weird nowadays. Plus, she’s never acted to know too much about you, so she doesn’t come off as a stalker; which is probably what she’s concerned about.

“I was just a substitute, and it was only for a quarter. Not something people would put on my Wiki.” you explain to her with a kind smile, wanting to make sure she knows you don’t find it weird.

“I apologize for not recognizing you sooner, Paige. It does explain why you were conscious of swearing around me.” You add, addressing Paige this time.

“I don’t blame you for not wanting to remember us. We were a fucking nightmare back in high school.” Paige jokes. “Sorry. Language.” Paige adds with a chuckle.

“I’m sure if he saw you in our volleyball uniform he would’ve remembered you faster. No one could forget your big ass eating your— OW!” Stella jokes before obviously getting kicked by Cassie under the table again.

“Trying to hit me where it hurts!” Paige reacts. “I still curse this body for making it extra hard to be an athlete.” Paige says half-joking in frustration.

“Are there photos of that on the internet somewhere or…” Viv jokes.

“Reign it back, Viv. You’re bordering on creep town more than usual.” Cassie jokes back.

“Oh, right! You were the captain of the volleyball team during Stella’s freshman year. I do remember that.” You say upon remembering, and also trying to get back the conversation to somewhere less perverted.

“I told you he wouldn’t forget your big ass in volleyball shorts.” Stella teases Paige… and there goes your attempt to get it back to a non-perverted conversation.

“Lord help me.” Cassie sighs in defeat, and you can’t blame her. The combination of Viv and Stella both openly perving out on Paige is a bit too much.

“Well that completely debunks your theory that he was afraid to flirt with you because you’re a former student. He doesn’t even remember the ‘student’ part, just the...” Viv points out, chuckling a bit, before Cassie cuts her off.

“Please don’t finish that sentence.” Cassie says, getting a laugh out of Paige.

“It’s alright, Cassie. You couldn’t stop Stella from retelling all the juicy details of your foursome after your practice, I think it’s futile to try and prevent it when there’s two of them.” Paige jokes.

“Wait one goddamn minute! How come she gets to hear that story and I don’t?” Viv asks in fake exasperation.

“Probably because when I retell it to you, you’ll masturbate on the spot.” Stella joks.

...

“Cue the waitress.” Stella quickly adds.

The door to the private room then opens and Stella busts out laughing upon seeing that it was indeed the waitress entering the room with your main dishes. Other than Stella who was holding in her laughter to not make the waitress feel weird, all of you were in stunned silence at Stella’s fortune telling while the waitress tried to serve each of you the items you ordered.

“Um… Chef Nguyen?” the waitress says, trying to snap Viv out of her shock.

“Oh! Right.” Viv says, snapping out of her trance; and begins to professionally describe what’s in your orders and what taste profiles you should look out for, and a few more anecdotes about the dishes here and there. Maddy and Paige were the ones who listened intently, while you and your two girlfriends immediately started eating as you already knew what the food tasted like, and it tasted delicious as always.

As the waitress leaves the room once more, Chef Nguyen immediately goes back to being Viv.

“What the hell was that?” Viv asks Stella, as the latter was eating.

“That was incredible!” Maddy says in amazement.

You, Stella, and Cassie all just laugh at your companions’ reactions and in disbelief at what just happened for a good solid minute. Stella eventually goes on to tell the story of why she’s been paranoid of that specific waitress since the last time you were at Viv’s restaurant, making Viv recall the first time it happened when she was around; while Paige and Maddy connected the dots with the reference earlier when Stella made the exact same joke and you said you had a waiter so she could relax.

“I didn’t know Lizzie was supernatural.” Viv says in reaction.

“No! She’s forever the waitress! Don’t tell me her name!” Stella jokes.

“She’s a human being, Stella. She’s not Baby Yoda.” Cassie retorts, but Stella just sticks her tongue out to Cassie as a response; ending up in both of them just sticking their tongues out at each other.

“I wonder if that happens to other customers too.” Viv says.

“I don’t think other customers talk about sex more than you guys, so it might not be as apparent.” Paige jokes, and Cassie couldn’t help but voice out her agreement.

“You’re one to talk!” Stella reacts to Cassie’s cleaning of her own hands as if she’s not guilty of it sometimes too.

“I only do it because of you!” Cassie reacts.

“Maybe Paige is the one that brings it out of you guys, since you didn’t seem to talk about it too much last night.” Maddy observes, and Paige is shocked that Maddy turned the tables on her.

“I can think of two reasons why Paige brings it out of us.” Stella jokes while gesturing to her own breasts to joke about the size of Paige’s chest. The caveman in you couldn’t help but glance at Paige’s chest because of Stella’s gesturing. You immediately glance away as you notice Maddy watching where your eyes went, before she starts being conscious of her own chest.

“I wish I had a camera so I could say I caught you in 4K, Junior.” Viv jokes, who apparently saw where your eyes went too.

“I saw where your eyes went too, Viv. I’m going to report you on Yelp.” Paige jokes, which gets you to relax a bit since she seems to be taking it in stride.

“Pervert Chef sexually harasses customers in the private function room of her restaurant.” Stella jokes.

“By eyewitness: Lizzie, the Waitress.” Cassie adds on, making everyone at the table laugh.

“Okay. Fine. Let’s stop it before Liz— ‘The Waitress’ comes back here with dessert.” Viv states once everyone’s calmed down. “So, why were you flustered by Paige flirting with you, Junior? It’s not like you were that flustered when I flirted with you.” Viv asks. You’re pretty sure Viv’s baiting for you to admit that you were just as flustered when she flirted with you, so you don’t take the bait.

“I think I preferred the pervy topics over answering that question.” You answer jokingly.

“Like father, like daughter.” Viv jokes.

“You preferred perving on me, Mr. Craig?” Paige teases you, and Viv and the girls couldn’t help but laugh. You noticed that Maddy wasn’t laughing though.

“Someone’s getting uncomfortable.” Viv teases you, but it didn’t miss your notice that she glanced at Maddy when she said it. It seems you and Viv both noticed Maddy being uncomfortable with Paige openly flirting with you. “Would I be correct to assume you were just afraid to make your girlfriends jealous?” Viv adds. Although, when she said ‘girlfriends’ she glanced at Maddy again.

“Dad knows we don’t mind him flirting with other girls.” Stella retorts, having apparently missed Viv’s glance at Maddy, resulting in Stella missing Viv’s point entirely.

“How are you guys so comfortable about that? I mean, you’re the first polyamorous relationship I’ve come across, so I’m just curious.” Paige asks. You and the girls are somewhat used to that question now, with Brooke and Celeste having asked some form of it previously. Surprisingly, it was Viv who answered it for the three of you.

“Trust.” Viv answered succinctly, with a serious look on her face.

“... and a lot of foursomes too, maybe?” Paige jokes.

“Cue the waitress!” The four of them, other than Maddy, joke out of sync. The joke still gets a laugh out of everyone.

…

…

…

As the laughter dies down, and only an awkward silence remains, Stella finally admits what was happening.

“She’s not coming! I told you you shouldn’t have named her!”