Straight as a Noodle

“Okay, story time please. How do you guys have so much pull with Rebecca Hoffman?” Paige asks as you all sit down at one of the tables in the private function room. As the waitress led you to this area, you noticed it was the room that Celeste and Viv came out of when they were doing the media spotlight.

“I’m telling you, we don’t.” Stella replies.

“Yeah. We’re just as surprised that she upgraded us to this room.” Cassie adds.

Well, you might have an idea why Becca would try and put her best foot forward. She does have a sliver of romantic feelings for you based on what the app showed the last time you checked it. This could be a way for her to get your attention?

You mentally slap yourself.

Okay, calm down ego. You’re not the most attractive man alive. Relax on the assumptions.

You have to admit though, all these women just falling for you left and right without even trying is beginning to go to your head.

“It can’t just be out of the goodness of her heart though. Her reputation around the office back when I was interning there wouldn’t match that.” Paige tells all of you.

“She’s been nothing but generous to us, Paige. Granted, we’re friends with some of her friends so that might be the reason.” You defend Becca.

“What’s her reputation?” Maddy asks curiously.

“Ruthless.” Paige answered succinctly.

“How ruthless?” Stella asks.

“I only heard this from one of the marketing guys, but the latest example I heard at the time was that she chewed out the last VP of Marketing for a pretty average campaign for one of the hotels and fired him on the spot… then blacklisted him so he can’t get a letter of recommendation from HR. I think the guy she fired tried to sue, and got buried even deeper and had to move out of the country. So, yeah. Ruthless.” Paige tells the four of you.

“Also hearsay.” You respond, giving Becca the benefit of the doubt.

“True, but when there’s smoke there’s fire though.” Paige half-concedes, and you concede her point too. You do remember Viv saying that Becca didn’t get the position she has just because she was the boss’ daughter. You assume being ruthless would be a part of that. If Viv is any indication too, how she acts at work and how she acts in her private life could be completely different.

“Maybe that’s just how she is when she’s at work? Mr. Craig mentioned Ms. Viv acts differently at work too, even when she’s only been nice to me since last night.” Maddy points out.

“You guys are definitely friends with her.” Paige points out. “Most of the older management badmouth her, and says she only got her spot due to nepotism.” Paige explains. “Granted, I won’t deny that I get the ‘old jealous bastard’ vibes from most of them, so I’m actually more inclined to believe you guys than them.” Paige adds before you could say that you were assuming they were just old jealous bastards anyway.

It was at this time that the door to the private room opened and it was Viv who made her way inside the room.

“Good afternoon, everyone. I’m Chef Nguyen, I’ll be your host for your lunch this afternoon.” Viv introduces herself, as if you don’t know who she is. Maddy’s all smiles upon seeing Viv in her professional element, while Stella and Cassie are confused as to why she’s acting like that; since the last time you were here, Viv was still acting like her normal flirty self.

“Hi Chef Nguyen.” Maddy greets her, playing along.

“Yeah~. Hi, Chef Nguyen. Are you here to sit on Daddy’s lap again?” Stella asks her teasingly; and as if on cue, the waitress walks in with the appetizers you ordered and some other extra stuff you didn’t order, to serve to your table. You hear Stella say ‘Ow’ under her breath, and based on the look you can see from Cassie across the table from her, it looks like Cassie kicked Stella under the table to get her attention that the waitress arrived when something vaguely sexual was mentioned.

“Well, that question breaks the professional illusion. I told Becca this wouldn’t work.” Viv replies, a bit annoyed, and Stella laughs at Viv’s struggle.

“Come on Viv, we have your back. We’ll tell Becca you had a stick up your ass the entire time you were here, just like she does, and you can just act normally around us.” Stella tells her. Viv seems to consider the offer, before looking at Paige.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m Viv.” Viv introduces herself to Paige.

“I’m Paige. Nice to meet you Chef Nguyen.” Paige says back to Viv.

“I hope you don’t see this as intrusive, but you’re not a Yelper are you?” Viv asks her.

“If I was, that’d be the first thing I’d tell you wouldn’t it?” Paige jokes, getting Viv to laugh.

“Unless you’re vegan or do crossfit.” Viv jokes back, and Paige laughs as well.

“No, Chef Nguyen. I’m not a Yelper. I trust the recommendations of my friends over recommendations of strangers over the internet.” Paige answers her.

“Smart.” Viv reacts to Paige’s statement. “You’re not going to report me on social media if I act less than professional would you?” Viv asks her.

“Uh~, depends on what you mean by ‘less than professional’.” Paige replies.

“~Okay then. Well, for your appetizers today, you’ll have—” Viv started saying, looking to describe the dishes in front of us as the chef, before Stella cut her off.

“Jesus. It’s so weird to see you act normal; and by normal, I mean abnormal for you. Just flirt with my Dad already. ” Stella says with faux annoyance.

“Oh Princess, you know I like flirting with you more than Daddy.” Viv jokingly replies.

“There she is.” Stella announces with a smile, getting Viv to smile too.

“That’s so~ unprofessional.” Paige reacts, making Viv and you give a look of panic, while Stella, Cassie, and Maddy are all shocked at Paige’s reaction. “I’m kidding! Sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have done sarcasm when we’re not close with one another yet.” Paige immediately adds upon seeing everyone’s reaction. Everybody visibly relaxes upon her clarification that she was only joking.

“I’m willing to forgive you as long as you show me how good of a kisser you are.” Viv says with a naughty smile, outright flirting with Paige now and already back to the flirty personality most of you are more familiar with.

“I’ll be back soon with your main dishes.” The waitress interjects before leaving the private room.

“Lizzie! Not a word of this to Ms. Hoffman, understood?” Viv asks with a wink to Lizzie, the waitress.

“Of course, Chef.” Lizzie answers before walking out the room.

“Nope. Erasing that name from my brain. She’ll forever be ‘The Waitress’.” Stella jokes.

You all start eating the appetizers that were served, Viv describing what they were when Maddy or Paige asks. As she wasn’t around when you and the girls upped her cooking for the media spotlight with Celeste, you all take the opportunity to rain her with praises of how delicious the appetizers were. She gave some anecdotes about some recipes about how her family used to cook them for family events and that’s where her love for cooking started.

“We’re only at the appetizers and I’m already contemplating if we should make out or not. These are really good.” Paige says as a compliment.

“You shouldn’t have said that Paige.” Cassie says jokingly, trying to be ominous.

“The offer stands, sweetness.” Viv tells her with a wink.

“If I accept the offer, are we making out here or in private?” Paige asks Viv, with her elbow on the table and her chin resting on her knuckles, taking Viv by surprise. It was oddly reminiscent of how Viv teased Cassie the other day. Viv looks at Stella in disbelief. You don’t read minds, but you’re assuming she’s saying ‘Is this bitch for real?’ with her expression, since she’s pointing at Paige. Stella just laughs.

“Well, I fold. Bluff called. I actually don’t want to make out with you while I’m at work.” Viv admits, and Paige lets out a sigh of relief.

“Whew. I would’ve folded if you called too. I’m a raging heterosexual despite my previous attempts at experimentation.” Paige admits as well.

“Raging heterosexual? So you’re not even slightly a noodle?” Viv asks.

“What’s a noodle?” Maddy asks.

“Somebody who’s straight until they're wet.” Paige answers, and all of you except for Viv let out a simultaneous “Oh~”. “To answer that question, I am sadly not a noodle. Staunch supporter of LGBTQ+ rights though, so no judgment from me. I just say raging heterosexual as a joke since people use that to describe gays for some reason.” Paige answers Viv.

“Maybe the waters you’ve swam in just haven’t been hot enough?” Viv asks suggestively.

“Maybe. Care to show me what boiling waters feel like?” Paige answers, not backing down.

“I like you.” Viv immediately says upon hearing Paige flirt back with her.

“It’s nice to meet you, Viv. Tell Chef Nguyen I like you better.” Paige says, returning Viv’s wink from earlier. “As a friend of course. Like I said, raging heterosexual.” Paige adds.

“Alright, I’m sold. When are you going to start dating her?” Viv asks you out of the blue, taking you by surprise; and it seemed to take Paige aback as well.

“I’m sorry. What?” Paige reacts flustered.

“What!?” Maddy couldn’t help but react simultaneously with Paige.

“Yeah, Viv. What?” You ask Viv as well.

“What? I was just wondering if you had plans; cuz if you’re not planning to date her, I will.” Viv jokingly explains, obviously still flirting with Paige. “Also, I wanted to see if she would fake flirt with you too.” Viv adds, but she has a mischievous smile on her face, reveling that she got Paige to crack a tiny bit. “She got flustered at the thought though. So I’m guessing if she’s going to flirt with you, it’s going to be for realsies.” Viv teases both you and Paige.

“Is that something you would want, Mr. Craig? Would you like me to flirt with you?” Paige asks you naughtily, but her facial expression and demeanor was acting all innocent. She seems to have recovered from being flustered very quickly now that she knows what Viv was up to.

Your ego immediately thinks she was flirting with you for real, and thinking how awkward this is with your girlfriends and someone who’s incredibly horny for you watching. Thankfully, Viv stops your assumption that Paige was being serious before it could latch on to your ego for too long.

“Damn, you’re good.” Viv reacts, and the impressed look on Stella and Cassie’s face seem to agree with Viv’s assessment.

“Thank you. I did some theater in college.” Paige tells Viv.

“Junior seemed to believe it.” Viv adds.

“Junior? Oh! You mean Mr. Craig?” Paige reacts with a laugh. “I think Mr. Craig’s reaction of horror is justified. Probably afraid for his writing career if he gets cancelled for flirting with a former student of his.” Paige jokes.