Pre-Show Dramatis Personae

Name: Adelheid “Heidi”
Age: Unknown, affects the appearance of early to mid twenties.
Job: Game Show Host
Appearance: What happens when you cross Barbie with the Swiss Miss mascot.
Relationship to Bob: Hosting his show
Bio: Heidi gives off an air of innocence, seeming almost naive. Her demeanor is that of a wholesome girl-next-door, loaded with a massive amount of sex appeal and backed up with a set of comically large breasts. Like most of the hosts, she’ll be up a creek if this all goes sideways.
Transformations: None

Name: Robert “Bob” Dobbs
Age: 47
Job: Cook in an assisted living facility Appearance: Aging action nerd. Bald, green eyed, 5’6”. While he used to be in shape, he’s let himself go over the years. But hey, round is a shape, right? Still has a bit of muscle under the spare tire and extra padding. His van dyke beard and mustache combo comes in mostly white, although the strawberry blonde still shines through.
Relationship to Bob: Kind of hates him.
Bio: Bob has seen it all, done a number of jobs over the years but never managed to settle on a real career. He’s currently careening headlong into a midlife crisis. Bob is a fairly intelligent man with no drive or motivation to improve himself, and has a history of overthinking everything, and pretty close to zero self esteem, twin failings that have cost him happiness and success throughout his life . He’s basically a nice guy though.
Transformations: None

Name: Kathy Jo “KJ” Burnett (née Vincent)
Age: 44
Job: Telemarketer
Appearance: Curly light brown hair, starting to grey. Has not aged well. 5’2”, overweight, skin weathered and teeth yellowed from three decades of smoking.
Relationship to Bob: High school girlfriend (for a couple months in senior year).
Bio: Kathy Jo was Bob’s prom date senior year. She used him to go then dumped him the next week to get back together with her ex. Has lived a massively unfulfilling life, making progressively worse decisions.
Transformations: None yet

Name: Darlene Thompson
Age: 46
Job: HR Director for PIttsburgh Paints
Appearance: Thin and feminine, with a pair of natural B-cup breasts (thanks to HRT) and long lustrous brown hair, soft brown eyes, and high delicate cheekbones.
Relationship to Bob: Childhood best friend
Bio: Charlie Thompson moved in across the street from Bob when he was six and Bob was seven. After Bob moved away they lost touch and Charlie spiraled into depression which he struggled with for two decades, only beginning to recover when he realized that she was a woman living in a man’s body. Since she began to transition Darlene has become quite the successful woman and grown to accept herself.
Transformations: None yet

Name: Alicia McDaniel
Age: 64
Job: Teacher
Appearance: A handsome woman, hair worn short, black with a salt and pepper effect. Generous bust and long legs, still fairly well defined but showing some varicose veins.
Relationship to Bob: High school English teacher Freshman year.
Bio: Widowed ten years ago, Alicia is beginning to feel the weight of over thirty years teaching sub literate teenagers to appreciate the written word. Remembers Bob fondly as a precocious student.
Transformations: None yet

Name: Cassie Lewandowski
Age: 29
Job: Director of Dining Services, Highwood Senior Living
Appearance: 5’10”, brunette, D-cup. A little extra padding
Relationship to Bob: Boss
Bio: Culinary school grad, engaged to a civil engineer. Considers Bob a close friend.
Transformations: None yet

Name: Kayla Parker
Age: 18
Job: Dining Assistant
Appearance: 5’4” and busty with close cropped currently blonde hair. A number of tattoos and piercings. Blue eyes.
Relationship to Bob: Coworker
Bio: A high school drop out, currently working to support her family. Kayla is friendly and flirty, overtly sexual and extremely affectionate to those she care about.
Transformations: None yet

Name: Morgan Schultz
Age: 38
Job: Wealth Management agent
Appearance: Curvy, with pixie cut auburn hair and green eyes, stands a little shorter than Bob at 5’5”
Relationship to Bob: Granddaughter of one of the residents at the Senior Care community Bob works at.
Bio: College grad, career driven, divorced. Impressed by the care Bob gives to her grandmother.
Transformations: None yet

Name: Robin Mason
Age: 19
Job: Convenience store clerk
Appearance: Androgynous build and features. Natural red hair in an undercut bob, freckles, pale. Effects a scene kid aesthetic, with dramatic makeup and numerous visible piercings. Male genitalia.
Relationship to Bob: Sells him gas, vape cartridges, and junk food.
Bio: Robin is just trying to get by. They’re taking a gap year after finishing high school and trying to figure out what they’re going to do with their life.
Transformations: None yet

The Staff:
The Chalet is staffed by a group of mythical creatures, primarily borrowed from Icelandic folklore, but other Northern or Eastern European characters may show up as well. Of the thirteen members of the staff that have thus far appeared only one has been named, a stocky guy with a neckbeard (like the other 12) who affects a fedora hat. He goes by Gluggagægir. The thirteen all dress like complete douche incels.