Paranoia

Staring at Master P.C. Xander was struck by the odd thought that if it wasn't for the Master P.C. he wouldn't know about the people who were out to get him because he hadn't known they existed. How was he supposed to know that some ancient evil was trying to fuck him over from beyond the boundaries of his universe. It had never even occurred to him that he would have actual enemies. The idea that Buffy had enemies? Yes. The Watchers? Yes. But him? No, not even once had the thought crossed his mind.

Not wanting to go through another event as painful as the end of his relationship with Cordelia had been Xander resolved, here and now, never to be taken unawares by his enemies again. So how was he going to get a handle on that? Obviously he would use Master P.C. but he would need to be specific as something as open ended as 'warn me about people who want to hurt me' would probably include anyone and everyone, like some guy he cut off in traffic, which would be a useless warning... well, unless the guy was going to road rage out and try and kill him.

Xander grimaced. This was going to take too much time. He could spend a day and not come up with the perfectly worded sentence. So 'warn me about people who want to hurt me' might be a stop gap measure but it was better than nothing. He could always add to it and perfect it over time. So right now he just needed to keep who, what, where, when and why in mind when he wrote this out. And probably add how to resolve the situation too. And maybe something about his friends enemies? He had to deal with that shit weasel Ethan Rayne's shenanigans because Ethan had a grudge against Giles. It wasn't nice to be relegated to collateral damaged.

Theoretically that should cover everything.

26- Xander is aware of who wants to hurt Xander or any of his friends. Xander knows what they intend to do to harm Xander or his friends. He knows when they intend to do Xander or his friends harm. He knows why they intend to harm Xander and his friends. Xander also knows how to avoid being attacked.

"Fuck." Xander hissed and clutched at his head. He knew too much. All at once, no prioritization, just a rush of knowledge all slamming into his mind at the same time. From the jock who wanted to pants him in the hall to win approval from Cordelia to the Eldritch Horrorshow from beyond space and time that still was working to keep Cordelia and him apart. He needed a way to deal with this, a system like Buffy's slayer dreams or something a little more direct, something like...

27- Xander Harris has developed a form of Spider-man's famous 'Spidey Sense'. Like Spider-Man it allows Xander to sense immediate physical threats giving an impression of the severity of the danger, and the general area being attacked. There is a higher level of 'Spider Sense' which gives Xander premonitions of grave danger in his dreams allowing him to see his enemies evil intentions when they are in the planning stages. These premonitions usually give Xander at least two weeks notice before an attack.

Slumping back in his chair Xander could relax slightly. That... that had been intense. Too much info at the same time and no real way to process it. It had felt like having a spike driven into his brain thru his eyes.

It had been informative tho. He knew about the cosmic creatures plans to be born on earth thru Cordy. But Xander hadn't known about the runner up for evil master plans that had it out for him and his friends. He couldn't stop the snort that escaped him when he thought about the runner up.

Who would have guess that Sunnydale's Mayor Richard Wilkins of being a centuries old evil sorcerer? Xander hadn't. He had bought into the Mr. Rogers like demeanor the Mayor had going on. Hook, line and sinker. Probably because it wasn't much of an act it was who he really was, the man used 'gosh' as a swear because he didn't want to use harsher language for god sake. He just also happened to be an murderous sorcerer looking to ascend up the food chain thru black magic while ruling the underworld of Sunnydale with a Dr. Doom-like iron grip.

"fuck-a-duck." xander whispered to himself. He considered the situation and let his head droop, "I have so much work to do."