Omega Secret: Late Pizza Dash delivery girls come with a free blowjob.

"Omega Secret: Pizza Dash delivery girls provide a free, compensatory blowjob to the customer if late."

Jerry nodded satisfactorily, only to instantly stiffen.

What am I saying? The guilt-stricken young man looked over his shoulder half-expecting a camera crew. Breathing out shamefully while he twisted his body forward, he glared at the still-open, inviting book. This thing... it's turning me into some sex-obsessed egomaniac!

Flipping to his pencil's eraser and slamming it onto the page, Jerry stopped as he looked at the sentence he had just written. Then he moved up to the "Alpha Secret" idling casually above. If words had faces, they would be smirking.

Carly, he briefly thought. In a whip of insecurity, he grew frigid again and shook away the image of his age-old crush, her cute brunette bob always faced away from him somewhere, miles and miles away. Unattainable. Unaware of his very own existence.

After that impromptu pick-me-up, the curly-haired boy's attention returned to the 'Omega' scrawled before him. Crinkling a lip, he evenly began removing the ending period. Then, with the rest of the sentence left hanging, he filled it in.

"Omega Secret: Pizza Dash delivery girls provide a free, compensatory blowjob to the customer if an hour late or more, and cunnilingus to female ones."

Hmm.

squeak squeak

scribble

"Omega Secret: Pizza Dash delivery girls provide free, compensatory fellatio and cunnilingus services to the customer if an hour late or more."

There we go.

Jerry sat back and let the recliner absorb his thin body when, suddenly, he heard a quiet hiss below. He sniffed a nostril. Smoke, too. Widening his eyes, he snapped his neck down.

"Crap!"

He was supposed to erase the damn thing -- not make it more grammar-friendly!

Before he could grab for his pencil, the words had already molded into the page, just like before. The boy tried to keep his cool, but only felt anxiety as outside, the pizza girl began saying goodbye.

"Oh, and one more thing," he heard her voice say.

Jerry's heart skipped.

"I almost forgot..."

"Yes?" his uncle eased.

There's no way, Jerry thought as she cleared her throat. There's just no way.

Then one second passed.

And another.

And another.

Then finally another, as Jerry relaxed his lungs. Nothing.

With a turn of his bangs, he moved forward in the seat, expecting the door to shut after a slightly awkward dismissal and after that, a return to their normally scheduled evening programming. He closed the book, placing it on the table.

It was like a lamp flickering belatedly on, then, when he suddenly heard a haggard bout of coughing at the door.

"A...are you okay?!"

After a brief gurgle and a supple little burp, a response. "Eurgh, I'm fine. I just didn't expect you t-to finish so soon..." It was the same voice of the pizza girl, though a little shaken up. And unnaturally coarse.

This was followed by a weak chuckle. Cyder returned to a low, apologetic tone of voice as they seemed to exchange their last words, and the quiet talk of tips was waved along.

Finally, the door closed shut, the sound of steps against the walkway pruning into the distance. After a small rustling of clothes, the stout balding man walked back into the living room, pizza box in hand. A faint beam of contentment seemed to radiate from his lips, receding hairline be damned; it was all in the eye of the beholder after all.

Chuckling as he bounded through the entryway, he declared, "Pizza pizza! Get it while it's hot!" Once he reached the table and surveyed the room, he halted his cheery parade.

The room, besides the miscellaneous clutter, the flower pots Jerry's mom never watered, the chairs, the TV, the clock hanging on the wall, and the plump man -- with a zipper left hanging open, incidentally -- was empty.

"Jerry?" The uncle placed the box on the table, which was also licked clean, them having transferred everything to the floor hours earlier. Probably should tidy it up before Mrs. Chumpkins came home.

A wrinkled brow stretched across his forehead as he suddenly noticed the backpack on the floor was also gone. With a relenting shrug, he sat into the puffy couch and bit into a slice of moderately warm cheese. "Guess he got tired," the greased-up uncle spoke through a full mouth as he fell back.

He flipped the TV on to some Twilight Zone reruns, emitting a nostalgic sigh. Nothing like pizza, old shows, and a pleasant surprise to cap off a long day.