Ogres

Half an hour later, we’re sitting at Mia’s dining room table, bowls of delicious looking spaghetti and meatballs in front of Mia, Skylar and I, with Ivy munching on a piece of loot that we got, so she can get her consumption back up to 99% full after she levelled up. “Skylar, we need to tell you some stuff.” I begin.

She nods, her expression remaining neutral as she takes in a mouthful of her lunch. “Uhh, so first of all, Ivy’s dating Mia and I.” I say awkwardly, unsure how to start this conversation. “Huh, nice. Didn’t know you were poly. That’s cool.” She replies, her expression still completely neutral. I have no idea how she’s feeling, but Mia also says I’m terrible at reading people.

Deciding to press on, I keep talking. “Yeah! It works for us.” I look at Mia and Ivy and smile at each of them in turn. “Anyway, the second thing we need to let you know is that we’ve talked about it and we have a goal for the future of the guild.” She nods again, gesturing for me to continue. Mia picks up from where I’ve left off.

“You know this already but Sydney is in a pretty bad state. It’s anarchy and gang wars everywhere. Nobody is really safe with these people around. Everybody who isn’t a part of a gang or otherwise untouchable needs to lay low. If they don’t, they risk getting kidnapped or killed. What you don’t know is that there is a person responsible for all of this: a man called Mathias Vaughn. He’s the puppet master of sorts, he pulls the strings around here. He keeps this place the way it is, and dispatches of those who try to change it.”

“We want to change it. We want to change the way things are, we want to make Sydney a safer place, and this seems to be the way to do it. Finding Mathias and defeating him somehow. I hope it doesn’t need to involve killing him, but that is something that’s likely to be necessary.” Mia finishes her explanation. Skylar nods and swallows her current mouthful.

“Okay. I’m in.” “Just like that?” I ask her incredulously. “Just like that. I’m sick of hiding. I’m sick of fearing for my safety in my own home. You guys have it lucky, you don’t know the full extent of what’s out there.” She shakes her head. “It’s horrible, and I want to do something about it. So yeah, I’m in.”

I nod in understanding. “We need to get stronger first. I’m not sure how much stronger, but we need to keep training. We need to make sure that we’re ready to handle Mathias and whatever backup he has coming his way. We also need to see if we can find other people to join our guild.” I tell her. “Sounds good to me.” She returns.

“Don’t forget that we gotta have fun in the process!” Ivy chimes in and I giggle. “That too. Gotta keep our spirits up!” “Hey wait a minute, you said you’ve never played video games before, right?” Mia asks Skylar. She gives the aeromancer a slightly confused look and nods. “Why don’t you stay this afternoon after we finish training and we’ll show you?”

“Uhh I don’t know.” She replies, looking at her food and taking another bite. “Come on, it’ll be fun!” Ivy encourages. “You’ve never played video games before either.” I remind her and she shrugs. “Trying new things is always fun.” Skylar looks up and gives her a small smile. “Alright. I’ll try playing games with you. After we’ve finished training though.” “Of course. That’ll be once Ivy and I get to level 29. Should be two more dungeons” I reply.

After we’ve finished our lunch and the dishes are done, it’s finally time for the last of the four new enemy types: the ogres dungeon. I have no idea what to expect so I’m on my guard as I open the dungeon. We’re dropped into a clearing of sorts, but this one is much different than the regular forest clearings that we’ve seen in dungeons so far.

Where other clearings had lush green grass to stand on, this one has nothing but dirt, with trees surrounding the area, some dead, some alive. A couple of tree stumps litter the area, along with a pit of what looks like mud in one corner. The entire place, while not smelling awful, certainly does not smell good.

We study the place for a few seconds before a crashing sound through the overgrowth alerts us to the presence of an enemy. Bursting through the treeline, a giant ogre roars at us and charges. The massive beast is two or three times taller than me, and with it’s brown scaly skin and spines dotting its arms and back, it very much reminds me of the ogres from the new God Of War games. It holds a club in its hand and it swings at us as soon as we’re in range. I leap out of the way of the swing, firing a mana bolt as I land. Mia takes off and Skylar and Ivy scramble backwards, with Skylar punching it.

Magic is my best bet here, I don’t feel like I can get close enough to use my axe without it hitting me back. I fire off more spells as Skylar punches it again, and Mia winds up for a solid air attack. Ivy darts behind the boss as it roars in anger. She fires some of her thorns at its back to add to the damage. The ogre raises its club up and slams it down at Skylar, who rolls to the side and out of the way.

Mia comes down on it with a thundering crash, and the ogre stumbles, roaring once more. Skylar unleashes another thundering punch, and I see an opportunity as it stumbles off balance. I sprint towards it and behind it’s back, dragging the blade of my axe along the back of the ogre’s knees, right where the joint is. Twin cuts open up and the ogre howls in pain.

I look behind me at the beast as I sprint away, just in time to see a massive arm coming my way. I dive forwards frantically, and I feel the ogre’s attack miss me by a hair. I stand up and turn back around to face it, throwing out more spells to keep damaging it. It prepares to charge at me, but Skylar hits it again and it roars, charging at her.

Skylar darts away and Mia slams into it’s back, and the combined momentum of her attack and the beast’s charge sends it slamming into a tree. I throw a few more mana bolts at it, and Skylar sends spears of shadow to try to pierce through it’s well protected back.

The mana bolts blow holes in the protection and the shadows pierce deep into it’s internals. The ogre howls again, weaker than previously, before it slumps to the side and dissolves into dust. Breathing heavily, I look at the others. “That was pretty cool.” I comment. “He was tough.” Mia replies. “No kidding.” Skylar adds. I take a few deep breaths and my stamina recovers remarkably quickly. The perks of having Gamer powers. Another roar echoes through the forest and we prepare for the next round.

It ends up being another 2 ogres that we have to fight before we get to the boss. Each one of them is taxing on our resources, but we fight on as best we can. Amazingly, despite each of the ogres being extremely heavy hitting, we only sustain a few bad injuries. A couple of broken bones all round, healed by Ivy and my powers respectively, but nothing life threatening. Then the boss notification comes in.

I’m really confused as I read the window. “Uh girls? It doesn’t show the boss’s name, it’s a bunch of question marks.” I call out. A rumbling noise catches my attention as the ground begins to shake beneath my feet. I spy a tree rising up from the ground at the end of the area. “There!” I shout, but my callout is unnecessary, every one of us is looking at the strange tree. As it raises higher into the air, I notice that it has a door embedded in it. “Oh no…”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!!” An angry Scottish accented voice shouts. The door in the tree is thrown open and from who knows where, music starts playing through the whole dungeon. “Somebody once told me, the world is gonna roll me, I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed!” The most famous of ogres in modern media, steps out from the hole in the tree.

Mia is doubled over, laughing and wheezing hysterically at the sight. I rest my head in my hands, unable to hold back a snort, and wondering what would possess Gaia to make Shrek into a boss. Skylar and Ivy both look equally as confused. “Jesus fucking…okay.” I say to myself, trying to contain my befuddlement and laughter.

“Gem, what IS THIS!” Mia wheezes, wiping a tear from her eye. “Apparently, the boss.” “Ogres are like onions! They have layers!” The boss modelled after Shrek, shouts out. From nowhere, it produces an armful of onions and starts to hurl them at us.

Skylar reacts immediately, and sprints towards the boss, unleashing a rapid barrage of fists and and spears. The onions explode as they make contact with the ground but luckily none of the explosions have been near any of us, and Skylar’s **** stops the Shrek boss in its tracks. The spears pierce through its skin and it gasps, slumping over. “It’s all ogre now…” It whispers.

1000xp

The music fades out, and is replaced with a soft spoken voice, echoing out through the dungeon. “Shrek is love. Shrek is life.” “NO! Gaia what the fuck, why would you put that awful video in my head!” I shout, as Mia doubles over laughing once more, falling to the ground and holding her stomach. Skylar is shaking her head and Ivy is still looking incredibly confused.