Obviously a Trap

As anyone who has ever seen a Halloween thriller knows, one does not simply approach the spooky circle of light in an underground complex after waking up from being kidnapped. So, I looked around the room. Though the light was meant to emphasize the table at the center, there was enough reflected light that I could peer around the room. It was, frankly, pretty boring. There was a row of four chairs lined up in the shadows against one wall, undoubtedly for use at the table under less creepy circumstances; there was what appeared to be a dumbwaiter set into another wall and a trash can in the nearby corner; beyond the light, on the far wall, hung a fire extinguisher beside another door that I presumed was the exit; finally, there was a computer sitting at a desk against the far wall, which was a complete surprise.

I asked myself what kind of captors gave their prisoners access to a computer, since they had to know it was a major security risk. Unfortunately, no answer was forthcoming and I was left with only two options: approach the table lit up by the light or try to circumvent it.

Naturally, I did what anyone who doesn’t want to be the victim of a horror flick would do and skirted around the room to the far door, carefully staying in the shadows. Unfortunately, that was where my plan ran into a snag, since the door was locked, with nothing like a keyhole on my side. Furthermore, the computer turned out to be a devious ploy by some sick bastard who thought it would be funny to taunt me with a computer that lacked a power cord which might have allowed me to plug it into the nearby power outlet.

Sighing, I resigned myself to eventually stepping into the light and facing whatever fate my captors had prepared for me. But, first, I went back to the gym and grabbed the metal barbell from the bench press and stripped it of weights. The bar was sturdy and kind of heavy, but not so much that I wouldn’t be able to swing it as a club or jab someone with the end like the world’s dullest spear, should the need arise.

Carrying my newfound weapon, I headed back to what was almost certainly a trap and cursed the fact that training to investigate financial crimes was woefully lacking in training to fight with a heavy metal quarterstaff.