Nothing Shocking

John sprinted through the forest, hopping into the trees in the hopes of leveling up Parkour again. I should get some new gear before I show up to the test tomorrow. I’ll sell the rapier I got from Houndiira. Probably the helmet too, unless it’s really good. Then again, a motorcycle helmet probably wouldn’t be the best for visibility in a fight. I need to spend that perk point I got from that level-up too.

Discordance rang out in his head, and John immediately stopped on the branch he was on. Great. Just great. John looked up to his mini-map, but it revealed nothing save for the area around him. He continued to the next tree branch, and several red blips appeared on the map. Discordance reached its crescendo, and a company of men and women armed with **** rifles and donning black tactical gear burst from the trees.

John pressed himself up against the tree, hoping they hadn’t seen him. He heard vague whispers about this sector being clear. Apparently, they didn’t know that his preferred method of travel was so monkey-like. Then again, being in the shadows of the trees and his duster’s enchantment probably helped. Maybe I should get some footwear to muffle my sounds along with it. I should try the stealthy approach more often.

John looked below, staying in his cover just barely. The soldiers regrouped, and John used Advanced Spy on the man down below who gave out orders to his peers. Through his sheet, John found out they were actually knights.

Advanced Spy is now level 8!

“Maybe he wasn’t here tonight?” a female voice asked, though John could just barely make it out. Thankfully, Krieg’s voice was naturally much louder, or he was making an announcement to their entire group. It wasn’t clear which.

“Intel suggests otherwise. He has not been back to his apartment all day. He has no job. He has few friends, and he is not with any of them either. Based on what our scouts have gathered, he has spent the last fourteen days from sunrise until sundown making multiple barriers per day and destroying them before he leaves with little breaks in his schedule. We’ll spend another three hours here, and failing that we’ll get him in the morning tomorrow,“ Krieg shouted, rallying his troops as it were. John pressed tighter against the tree, drawing the duster closer around himself to help its cloaking effect. The soldiers started to spread out again, but as one fell into firing position at a noise from the woods. Man, they are not stealthy. Like, at all. A man wearing a black robe stepped out of the treeline and said something imperceptible. Whatever it was, it defused the tense situation.

Krieg saluted the man and walked over to him, ending up just outside of John’s eyesight. I would need to get closer to hear what he’s saying… probably best if not. I’ll just stay here until they all leave. John watched as the rest of Krieg’s team put their guns down, joining their superior in a quick salute.

“It’s an honor, sir. How may we-” Krieg asked, his voice trailing off from commanding shout to a quieter and more pleasant tone. Unfortunately, that meant that John could only hear snippets of what Krieg was saying, and even less of the robed man. “-here tonight, sir. Purpose - search - barriers.” The entire team stood at attention as their leader conversed with this apparently important man.

“Newman… Brighton… guest.” The man’s voice was little more than a murmur as it floated up to John’s ears, softer and gentler. His robe gave little away of his posture, though he seemed much more relaxed than his soldier cohorts. As if meeting a team of covert ops in a dark forest late at night was exactly what he wanted to be doing. The blips that represented the Order on his minimap slowly faded from red to gray, though the man didn’t appear on it at all. Whatever he’s saying, it’s good for me.

John’s heart went cold as he felt the urge to yawn. He stifled it immediately, though he didn’t want to risk even the movement of putting his hand to his mouth. When he looked back at the group, the man was once again in sight. The strike-team saluted him as they made their way toward the entrance of the forest and the city beyond. They’re going back to the city! Yes! Unless… they’re going to my apartment. I’ll have to be extra alert tonight.

He looked back at the clearing and accidentally locked eyes with the man. He was looking right at John’s hiding place! “You can come out now, John Newman,” the man offered, and panic lights went off in John’s head. What if this is all a ploy for the Order to get me? What if whatever he wants is worse than what they wanted? Does he actually even know if I’m here?

“I don’t have all night,” the surety in the man’s voice left little doubt in John’s mind, and he sheepishly leapt down from the tree. The moment the man was in full sight, John used Advanced Spy on him.

“It is good to see you as always,” the Hermit said, facing him. His facial features were pixelated, probably some spell adding a filter to his features to protect him from being fully identified. “The Order won’t bother you anymore, provided that you don’t provoke them.”

“Why are you so interested in me? Were you looking for me tonight too?” John asked, considering using Disrupting Blast on the man’s face, just to see if it would lift the pixelation spell. He decided against it. David appeared on his shoulder in his incorporeal form, looking between John and the Hermit. He tilted his head up at the stranger, squawking softly.

“You will have a difficult and exciting day ahead of you. I’d suggest you get some proper sleep. Oh, and one other thing… do not trust the woman with the robotic arms.” The Hermit looked at him for a moment wistfully, and he was gone. John looked around the trees, hoping to catch some glimpse of the man as he fled but was met with nothing.

“Do you mean Neve?” he called out, but the oppressive silence of the forest was his only response. That was beyond weird. I have a feeling all my meetings with him are going to give me way more questions than answers. At least I don’t have to worry about the Order anymore. If he really was level 125 like his sheet said… I’m glad he’s on my side at least. He wasn’t exactly friendly, but he sponsored me for the trials tomorrow, so I owe that to him. Hopefully he’ll be there to support me and his other sponsees.

John hopped back up onto the tree branch, sprinting along the treetops again toward the city. Stumbling a few times due to tiredness, he slowly got into the rhythm of Parkour again. He looked at his phone while he did so, putting the rapier up for auction immediately, typing a small, flashy description about how it was once wielded by drow royalty and how its shape-shifting enchantment made it perfect for any situation. The helmet’s armor rating was decent, but he didn’t like its lightning rod effect. Especially since his duster was weak to lightning.

I’ll sell that too… should get pretty good money for both of those. In the meantime, let’s see what I can put on my head. John opened up the auction, and after fifteen minutes of searching, he found three items that were both useful and within his price range. He couldn’t use Advanced Spy on them, but their auction descriptions all looked good.

Stetson’s Survivability
A reproduction of an 1865 John Batterson Stetson hat enchanted for superior durability and to keep from falling off the wearer’s head. In addition, based on the wearer’s quality of vision, it can grant True Sight or True Strike up to one hundred times per day! Three left in stock!
Enchantments: Vision, Greater Durability, One-Size-Fits-Most
Price: $45,000

Helm of the Rhino
One of my buddies took one of my mithril alloyed metals and made a dildo-attached helmet out of it. It’s made of one of the finest metals out there, but it also looks ridiculous. It was also made by an amateur blacksmith, so the durability isn’t great. Please buy it. One left in stock!
Enchantments: One-Size-Fits-Most, Magic Resistant
Price: $60,000

Threatmaster’s Eyepiece
A monocle which, when worn, shows the potential trajectories of most projectiles used. Warning: For all intents and purposes, it is otherwise a normal monocle. Treat with care.
Enchantments: Prediction (Projectiles)
Price: $55,000

That helmet would probably make me into a veritable tank, but it’s too expensive for what it is. It may be really good armor, but I’d have almost no money left for my pants or footwear if I bought it. I also don’t really want to wear a dick on my head. I’d look ridiculous. The eyepiece is tempting, especially because I use so many projectiles. It seems way too fragile though. The hat fits in with my cowboy motif and its ability seems really useful. It’s also the cheapest of the three. I’ll go with that. John tapped “buy now” on the hat, and the money was taken from his inventory. He chose to have it delivered to his apartment instead of his current location. Alright, that’s the headpiece taken care of. Maybe I should buy a good shirt to go with my duster… then again, the duster is already excellent chest armor. Maybe I’ll get some light armor, or craft something, but wasting money on a slot that’s already pretty strong doesn’t make much sense. I’ll take a look at the footwear. Some enchant to boost my speed might be nice.

John was so distracted by the acquiring of new gear that he didn’t notice as a branch snapped under his feet, sending him careening down to the forest floor. He used Move to bring his phone back to his hand and used Magic Rope around a thicker branch, catching himself - that is, until that branch collapsed under the sudden weight increase and he hit the floor with a thud. Man, that was a failure of both Gamer’s Luck and Parkour. I had no idea Parkour could fail at all. Maybe it’s not as automatic as I thought. Well, I’m at the edge of the city anyway. I better do that stuff at the apartment… and after talking to Jenny. That’s not going to be fun.