Nope. Not at all.

I take a few seconds to get my bearings before trying to speak. The rough landing had knocked the air out of my lungs. Once I can, I ask the blonde laying on my chest, “Are you okay miss?”

Well, at least I try to ask that. Before I can finish that sentence, she interrupts, yelling in my face, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? You could have killed me. Are you some kind of pervert? Grabbing women in the park?”

“What? No...the cart...it was about to hit you.” I point down the hill to where the golf cart has crashed into a tree and a small crowd has congregated.

“Bullshit!” She pushes off my chest rising to her feet. “Hope you got a good feel asshole. I just might call the cops on your ass.” As much as I want to defend myself before the fury of this tiny woman, I bite my tongue. Nothing has gone my way since I opened my apartment door this morning.

“Sorry miss. I hope you’re alright.” I do the best to keep the sarcasm but some drips out.

“You got mud all over my shoes, and my phone almost got wet. Asshole!” The blonde storms off down the hill past the crowd.

I pull myself to my feet, and get ready to head back up the hill as I knock the mud and dirt off me. Yep. Sprinkler head, right about where my left kidney would have landed. I’m going to be feeling that for a while. As I start up the hill, I hear someone behind me yelling frantically.