Noise Complaint

You rush to your bedroom to find Stella in a state of complete shock, trying to cover herself up with her hands, while Cassie and Tanya both look very groggy, very irritated, and also very confused as to what was happening.

“What happened?” was the only thing you could ask the three women in your bed, even though you can assume what caused Stella to scream. “When the fuck did this happen? Why are Tanya and Cassie here in their underwear?” Stella asks in a state of panic and confusion.

Both Cassie and Tanya grunt from what you can assume is irritation and headaches, and go back to lie their heads on the pillows to continue sleeping. Stella looks at you for an explanation and you’re about to recount to her what Viv told you, but you hear the doorbell ring.

Oh God, please don’t be the police again.

“Just get dressed, baby. I’ll explain what I know after I deal with this.” you advise your daughter before making your way towards your apartment door.

You open the door, and of course it’s not the police because that would be unrealistically fast for them; instead it’s Viv, who was clearly drying off from a shower, with her hair still wrapped in a towel and only wearing a bathrobe.

“I heard screaming, and not the good kind. What happened?” Viv asks you through the door. You invite her to come in as she’s not exactly dressed in acceptable hallway attire. Once she’s inside, you’re about to close the door but you hear someone shout from the hallway.

“Young man! This is the second time this week! I want to have a word with you!” Mrs. O’Brien, the resident geriatric gossipmonger has come to make a complaint. You tilt your head out the door and give her a friendly greeting.

“Hey Mrs. O’Brien! I’m sorry for the noise again. Stella thought she saw a rat, but everything’s fine. Apparently it was just a sock.” You try to fib your way out, but Mrs. O’Brien is having none of it.

“That is not an acceptable excuse, young man! I’ll have to take this up with the Board if this inconsiderate behavior continues.” she warns you.

“I understand Mrs. O’Brien. However, you and I both know that for you to bring a formal noise complaint to the Board, of which your husband and I are both members, the noise must be recurring constantly or have violated the three strike rule, and both complainant and complainee have tried to mediate. As neither of those things are true for the current situation, we both know all you can do is give a warning. I am accepting said warning, and must ask if you have any more concerns? If not, thank you for your time.” You answer her in one breath and in the most legalistic way possible, showing that you’re not intimidated by her threat at all, but also as the most polite way you can say that she can ‘fuck off’ now.

She’s looking at you with obvious distaste, but she knows you’re right. She was about to walk away and leave you alone, but something just had to happen. Stella screams in shock again before shouting “Who the fuck are you!?”, you hear from behind you. You can’t help but look at what’s going on, and you see Stella still naked and only covering herself up with her hands, meeting Viv for the first time. Viv takes off the towel from her hair and hands it to Stella so she can cover herself. Stella, although surprised by Viv’s casualness, still takes the towel and wraps it around herself. You couldn’t help but notice Viv mouthing the word ‘Damn’ as she got a glimpse of your daughter’s naked body.

“You didn’t answer my question, who the hell are you?” Stella asks Viv. Viv, not wanting to escalate Stella’s confusion any further, says in a calm voice

“Hi. I’m Vivian, but call me Viv. You’re Stella, right? I’ll explain everything. Don’t worry. I cooked breakfast. Join me, would you?”

Before Stella can fully calm down and join Viv to get breakfast, she gets startled by another surprise guest who stayed overnight. Stella’s bedroom door opens and out comes a clearly hungover blonde, massaging her forehead.

“Brooke!? What were you doing in my room? Can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on… and why the hell you’re wearing my clothes!?” Stella asks loudly again.

“Ow~ please don’t yell Stella. I have a headache as it is.” Brooke replies.

“Sorry. I just feel like I’m living a fever dream, or I time traveled or something.” Stella replies.

“You and I both. Last thing I remember was dancing at the club.” Brooke replies in a groaning voice.

“Oh~ do I have a story for both of you.” Viv says with an ominous laugh. “Come on, let’s get you girls some food.” Viv grabs both their arms and directs them to the kitchen. Both girls don’t resist as Viv drags them to the dining table. You were about to follow them but Mrs. O’Brien grabs your attention once more.

“I’m calling that strike three. Should we schedule for mediation or should we just do it now?”