Goodbyes and Good Mornings

“Can we not do this right now Mrs. O’Brien?” you ask your elderly neighbor to cut you some slack.

“We’ll schedule it then. How about tomorrow? You would be free tomorrow, correct? You don’t work like your wife does, right?” she asks you, with an amused evil smile that you can only compare to that old hag the Evil Queen disguised herself into from Snow White.

You know she intentionally wants to get a rise out of you too, as she’s very well aware that you and Diane have been divorced for months now, and that you’re an author by profession, so that’s why you stay home most of the time and not because you’re unemployed. You were about to take the bait and verbally admonish your elderly neighbor before your savior decided to step in.

“What’s this about now, Mary? Are you bothering the neighbors again?” you hear Mr. O’Brien ask as he makes his way from down the hall.

“It’s this young man that’s been bothering us Richard! Making all this noise in the morning!” Mrs. O’Brien complains to her husband who was still slowly making his way to you.

“You’re the only loud mouth I’m hearing right now, Mary. Go back to the kitchen and make me a sandwich.” Mr. O’Brien jokingly teases his wife.

“Oh no you don’t mister! I didn’t fight for women’s rights in the 70s for you to send me to a fucking kitchen.” Mrs. O’Brien shouts to her husband, and she is completely ignoring you now.

“You didn’t join orgies back at Woodstock to become a prude either. Leave the boy alone.” Mr. O’Brien overshares, and the look of scandal on Mrs. O’Brien’s face is priceless.

“What the fuck, Richard?” she angrily shouts at her husband. You couldn’t help but release an actual chortle upon seeing this dramedy play out before you. Mrs. O’Brien looks back at you, then back at her husband, and just says, “Men. Fucking savages the lot of you.” under her breath before walking away from your door.

Ironically, that’s when Mr. O’Brien arrives in front of you. “Forgive her, she’s bored out of her mind. Comes with age. Hopefully, you’ll never have to understand someday.” Mr. O’Brien apologizes on behalf of his wife.

“I should’ve left you when I had the chance!” you hear Mrs. O’Brien shout from down the hall.

“You could still leave! Don’t let me stop you!” Mr. O’Brien shouts back. “I love that woman, but she’s a pain in the ass.” Mr. O’Brien tells you. You wanted to nod your head to agree, but you control yourself as you don’t want to possibly offend Mr. O’Brien that you think his wife is an actual pain in the ass; because you think he should be the only one allowed to say it.

“Anyway, do me a favor and maybe keep it down from now on, eh? I can only bring up Woodstock so many times before she stops caring who knows about it.” Mr. O’Brien tells you, and this time you nod that you understand. You shake the hand he offers you and your elderly neighbor walks away, allowing you to finally close the door, and go deal with the situation in your apartment.

You see Stella, Viv, and Brooke at the dining table having breakfast; so you decide you’ll have to prematurely wake up the other two girls in your bedroom so that they can all share breakfast together.

You enter your bedroom and try to wake Cassie and Tanya up, but they’re both unresponsive with just your voice. You get closer and touch Cassie by her shoulder and shake her gently to wake her, and she moans. “Can you put that over my head?” she asks you in a groan, and you do as she asks and place your hand on top of her head. She immediately moans and it puts a smile on her face.

“Who needs ibuprofen when we have magic?” Cassie moans out. “Good morning, Jay.” She greets you.

“Good morning, Cassie. Viv made breakfast that’s good for hangovers. Can you get up?” you ask her.

Cassie sits up from the bed and immediately groans in pain once your hand was removed from her head.

“Okay. Ibuprofen has its uses. Ow.” she says as she rubs her temple. Her hair’s a bit of a mess but you have to admit she’s really cute like this.

“I promise I’ll get you some, but you’ll have to eat first.” you bribe her. She nods and slowly and groggily gets up from the bed.

You do the same to Tanya and immediately place your hand on her forehead. Tanya moans as well and you wake her up by saying her name repeatedly in a soothing voice. She still has her eyes closed, but she has a happy smile on her lips.

“Good morning papi. God, I can get used to this.” She says, full of content in her voice. She opens her eyes to stare at you and she caresses your cheek. She sits up, making you remove your hand from her forehead, and she immediately goes back to hating life.

“Ow~” she groans and the hand that was caressing your cheek immediately starts to rub her temple. “Okay. What the fuck? I think I have vertigo. I did not have this headache a few seconds ago.” Tanya says in confusion. You’re not sure if now’s the time to explain that your Magic Touch helped ease the headache, as Tanya doesn’t know about the Affection Multiplier yet.

“I think it’s just the hangover. I’ll get you some ibuprofen later, but Viv made some pho for breakfast. She says it’s a great hangover cure. You might not even need the meds.” you try to tempt her to join you for breakfast. She groans in pain, but like Cassie, she eventually stands up.

Both Cassie and Tanya try to make their way out of the bedroom before you call out to them. They turn around like their bodies are trying to move inside molasses, and they both look at you annoyed. “What?” Cassie asks.

“You might want to put some pants on.”