Nerdy

"I like a classic nerd," Adam says.

Your mind - already poisoned by toxic nostalgia and endless reboots of stuff from the late 80's - drifts to those 'classic' shows. I mean, a nerd really is just someone obsessed with niche stuff, right? You begin to know every fact and obscure bit of trivia from a variety of outdated old series and movies - and you will launch into long-winded explanations of whatever rabbit hole you've fallen down recently. Your clothes shift to a strange Cosplay of the classic '80's nerd' - plaid pants and suspenders over a tight button-up shirt with a protractor sticking out of your chest pocket. Bottle-thick glasses you squint through with beady eyes. Greasy, acne skin. Two frumpy pigtails tied back in a way that emphasises your forehead. Metallic braces with rubber bands. You giggle a bit as you recognise these references, and the laugh is a snorting, pig-like one. You pull out your inhaler to prevent the possible resulting asthma attack from the resulting shortness of breath.

Up until now, Adam has been gleefully enjoying all your obvious physical changes - but this one makes him recoil.

"Uh, when I said classic nerd," he starts - but you interrupt him with the last question, slurring through your braces.

"What about your perfect waifu's personality?"

He is compelled to answer by the same **** compelling you to ask