Meanwhile, across the Atlantic

A gentle purring of a finely-tuned engine announced the arrival of a sleek silver Aston Martin, with the numberplate "S3CR3T 1", which pulled up at the kerb and stopped. The door opened and out stepped Ava, dressed in a black cocktail dress and sunglasses. She looked both ways, and then quickly walked into a red phone booth.

Around the phone was an array of business cards advertising the world's oldest profession, and Ava selected the one that had her head photoshopped onto a naked body on a bed.

"Very funny." she grumbled in clipped tones. There was a phone number printed on the card, which if anyone dialled it would connect them to a pornography addiction helpline, but Ava lifted the phone receiver and tapped in the number backwards. With a soft clunk, the floor of the phone booth began to descend, taking her with it. Ava leaned back slightly, and realised the error of this as her dress snagged on the door hinge.

"Oh, no..." she gasped as her dress began to be pulled off her and left behind, "No no no..." the hem of the dress slid up her thighs, past her underwear, and suddenly Ava was temporarily blinded as it slipped over her head. Then it was off, taking her sunglasses with it and messing up her dark hair, as Ava continued downwards, now dressed in black lace bra and panties, and dark stockings clipped to a garter belt.

The lift lowered her into the middle of a room full of people milling about, agents and technicians, who were amused at the secret agent being deposited among them in her underwear.

"Er... good morning, everyone." Ava said with a blush, "The hinge of the door..."

"No time for that, Ava." Q said, approaching her, dressed in a white lab coat and sensible jeans and top, "The boss wants to see you."

"Right... any chance I could borrow a lab coat?"

"Lab coats are for technical personnel only." Q replied haughtily.

"Of course." Ava sighed, then trying to muster up whatever little dignity she had left, she strode in the direction of M's office.

She knocked on the door, and a voice called "enter". Ava did so to find M, the master spy, seating behind her desk. The blonde woman looked Ava up and down, and then decided not to ask.

"We have a mission for you, 1A." M said, pushing a brown envelope across the table, "The Roo-Ni-Hok ruby, largest cut ruby in the world."

"I'm familiar with it, ma'am."

"It's about to start a tour of museums in the states, and we have received intelligence which strongly suggests enemy forces are going to attempt to steal it. I want you to babysit it while it completes the tour, until it is safely back in the hands of its usual security guards back on British soil."

"Yes, ma'am. I can keep an eye on it."

"And maybe put some clothes on, you'll be getting more attention than the ruby, undressed like that."

"Yes, ma'am." Ava blushed.