Mall Malice

Stomping into the mall, Loraine spat profanity after profanity, getting some vexed looks from an elderly couple. “Of all the bullshit… even Marc wouldn’t ask me to get that! I’m gonna kill those two after this!”

“Ugh, what’s her problem?”

“Probably someone **** for some online fame.”

Loraine turned her head, seeing a group of twenty year olds scoffing at her. She once more pretended to not care, and made her way to the electronics store.

But not before someone smacked her ass so hard that a sharp echo could be heard from afar. Even she couldn’t contain a loud yelp from her mouth, making the group laugh at her noise. Her face was as red as her behind, so she dashed to the store.

“God, where is it?” Loraine kept searching the store, cursing herself for being terrible at finding things in general. “I can’t keep wasting time like this. This has already costed me fifteen minutes. Where do-?” She stopped herself, as she saw a listless but attractive store clerk stepping towards her.

“Eh, miss? You seem troubled, and I don’t just mean your attire, or the lack thereof.”

“Erm, yeah. I need to find… something.” She couldn’t keep her poker face, obviously embarrassed while she averted her gaze and grabbed her elbow. “Where is the… ..nd ma….er.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.

“The wa.. mass..er.”

“The what?!”

“THE WAND MASSAGER!” Bursted Loraine. The frustration had gotten to her. To be nude in public is bad enough, but while carrying a wand massager? People would think her perverse deviant.

The clerk, indifferent to her outburst, scratched behind his ears. “I dunno, just one moment please.” He grabbed the intercom, and spoke. “ATTENTION. I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE WAND MASSAGERS ARE. YES, IT’S FOR THE NUDE GIRL.” The announcement ensured that Loraine heard a few smirkings behind her back.

“Juuuussst great.”

“Oh, I guess the wand’s were right next to us.” The clerk said, unaware of the humiliation he put her through.

Loraine didn’t know who to slap. The clerk for his obliviousness, or herself for hers. She just grabbed the bloody thing and bolted to the register.

Standing in line, Loraine skittishly looked around her. She hoped that at the very least she wouldn’t see anyone she knew. She almost threw the blasted thing on the checkout counter. “I’ll just quickly pay for it, and-“ A shock went through her spine. To completely forgot about that! “I, I don’t have any money! What am I gonna do? Should I just… bolt with it?” She watched as the clerk scanned the item…

And a loud alarm rang out. “What? But I hadn’t stolen it yet? Why- wait, that’s not a security alarm…”

Almost as if on cue, a reporter darted towards the register. “CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE THE ONE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER OF ENIGMATIC ED’S ELECTRONICS!”

Loraine felt relieved. She might not have to pay now.

But her heart sank when she saw the tv camera. The news of her punishment hadn’t exactly reached far beyond her hometown. But if she’d appear on national television…

“…Eep…”