Loremaster identifies a hole in her data

Perfect! Complete! Equal parts rewarding and arousing! All of these were phrases that the latest, self-crowned ruler of hell would use to describe the scientific experiments that had followed her campaign of subjugation. Conquering hell had been easy, but once Loremaster had it, the tough part had started: satisfying her curiosity as a scientist by forging the perfect fusion of human and demon, creating a new being stronger than either. Finally, she'd succeeded-- the sixth generation subject number 67 had made it through a great number of potentially lethal examinations and tests to prove himself the genetic masterpiece she'd been aiming to design.

Victory pies were in order and remained in order for days after the fact, as Loremaster thumbed through complex computer screens and stuffed notebooks, all full of data from her latest experiment. "He he, sometimes, I think I'm the only research subject left in hell that can fascinate me! How did I become such a genius?" the scientist giggled, while plucking her fork daintily into Justice's hot apple pie. As always, the scientist dressed in bright red sunglasses and a white labcoat, both only lightly speckled with pie crumbs. One metallic hand clattered noisily on her keyboard while the other picked at the slice upon her plate.

The question she'd asked wasn't rhetorical. The room's other occupant, a maid who used to be the CEO of hell and filled her new servant's uniform rather well, wore a trained smile as she answered the question for what felt like the fiftieth time. "By watching everyone like a dedicated stalker, as I recall," Luficer spoke in a sweet voice that did not match the bitterness of her words. "By appearing to be such a nitwit that we'd never suspect your ambitions."

"Now now, no sour grapes, Lucy," Loremaster chuckled, bobbing a fork at her **** in light admonishment. "I do feel giddy today, though! Every time I look over my data, I just feel prouder and prouder of everything I've accomplished as an angel! My flawless experiment is extremely-"

Lucifer sighed.

"One-hundred percent-"

Lucifer groaned.

"Useless! Worthless! Incomplete!" Loremaster gasped, leaning so close to the monitor that her eyes nearly mashed against the glass, as her sunglasses slipped down the bridge of her nose in an expression showing a rare lack of confidence. "I can't believe I didn't see how flawed the outline for this experiment was! I guess even geniuses make gaffs here and there..."

Her maid had no idea what was happening, but she couldn't help but smile at it. It was a pretty rare and welcome change of pace to see Loremaster sweat. "What is it, my master? Did you forget to imprint your corporate trademark onto 67? Afraid someone's going to beat you to the patent?" she joked dryly.

"No, no. After all, who would want to patent this? I totally dropped the ball on this one! The exams were only 66.7% complete! Kind of fitting, when you think about it," Loremaster smiled, pressing one metal finger to her chin as she applauded the aesthetic appeal that even her mistakes held. "Look, we wanted to make a subject just as resilient and cunning as the Helltaker, right? I think we accomplished that part."

"The royal 'we,' I see, Master," Lucifer remarked with a narrow smile. "I suppose your tests were... somewhat similar to the trials the Helltaker went through. I seem to recall the puzzle in my office was much, much more perilous. You could tell he really wanted it."

Loremaster raised her eyebrows over her shades, then inspected Lucifer closely, as if trying to decide if even she really believed that. "Do you know what tests we haven't performed yet, Lucy? The factor that separates our beautiful Subject 67 from that impressive-- albeit antique-- human?"

"I would appreciate it ever so much if you told me, master," the maid responded, struggling to keep her smile on.

"Even after the Helltaker got through all the demons and rock puzzles and things, he had something else, didn't he? Charisma. Put more bluntly, perhaps... sex appeal," Loremaster murmured, pushing the back of her palms up against her chin and narrowing her eyes. As Lucifer, slightly red-faced, considered that answer, Loremaster tapped her fork up and down against the now barren pie-plate in an antsy fashion. "That's the missing 33.3%. Until we test that, Subject 67 is only 2/3 the man our Helltaker was."

"Master, if I may," Lucifer responded, her eyes half-lidded in bemusement as she took pride in pointing out another potential failure of Loremaster's planning. "I would like to predict the outcome of your experiment. I believe if you test the sex appeal of a Frankenstein monster who spends all of the time in which he isn't stuffing his face with pie raving about how he'd like to strangle you to ****, you'll find it somewhat wanting."

"You may be right," Loremaster admitted, but with a crazed look in her once blue, now crimson eyes, she shrugged and grinned broadly. "But there's only one way to find out!"