Lois & Blaze review "Jay Craig, 36 year old divorcee" by saktongmanyak, Part 5

Ultimately, accepting the idea of their underage marriage

Lois Lane, resplendent in her new demonic glory, sat astride Blaze's face. The formerly toned-and-trim scarlet succubus was now thicc and lush, her ample breasts spread across her chests, her ivory horns firmly in Lois' grasp. Yet the former reporter paused in the middle of reading the prologue aloud, and even Blaze's tongue ceased its instinctive cunnilingus.

"I would not have included that chapter," was all that Lois said, all the levity suddenly drained out of her.

With a shake of her small pink horns, the demonified reporter let out a sigh and continued on from where they had left off.

“Great therapy session.”

"Any date where Jay Daughterfucker doesn't end up balls-deep in at least one woman is a bad date," Lois complained as, she tried to get back into the swing of things. Yet it was clear the mood had changed. "Seriously, the closest Jay has come to striking out is not being able to give his cousin a vigorous boinking that breaks her out of her committed BDSM relationship."

Blaze offered a strange mewl. Something like sanity began to come back to those eyes. Black sparks warred with pink about her horns.

“That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for him.”

"I feel like this is a reverse-Survivor scenario, where the girls vote to welcome Brooke into the harem," Lois said. Blaze raised herself up and, obviously still confused, sat up against the headboard next to Lois. The two demonic women stared at the tablet the former reporter held before them.

There comes a point in all stories where, however briefly, the sex has to give way to something like plot and rumination. So too, perhaps, for reviews.

“Oh, how the turntables.”

"I still hate that," Lois said with a frown. Blaze's brow furrowed. Her brain felt as thought it was wrapped in pink cotton candy.

"Chapter titties...titles," the scarlet succubus said.

"Yeah, saktongmanyak has completely given up on trying to make the chapters titles being descriptive or in response to some end-of-chapter prompt. They're just whatever feels right, I suppose."

“Yes, Mistress.”

"So, those two storylines finally crossed. Granted, I think I was in the womb when this BDSM element was first broached," the former reporter said. She laid a pink hand on Blaze's knee and gave it a squeeze. "It feels odd for them to be so...open about it."

"Same...scene..." Blaze managed as she stretched her arms in a yawn. One hand came down over Lois' shoulder, and pulled her close so that their breasts touched. The pink-skinned demonette didn't seem to mind.

"Yes. Harem stories and BDSM share certain elements of power play. It's all about the relationships, not necessarily who is in control, but what the guidelines are, where the trust is. A harem story where the harem master basically mindcontrols all the members by **** isn't really a harem fic, any more than a **** fic is a BDSM story. There has to be...interplay."

“I understand Master. Tonight...”
“I am Mistress’ slut.”

"That is probably the most awkward way to write that," the corrupted reporter said with a sigh, as she laid her head on Blaze's shoulder. The scarlet succubus reached up with her other arm so that they could both hold the tablet together. "I'm not entirely sure where this is going, though. The whole BDSM angle seems tangential to the actual app-based-harem angle. Not saying there isn't room for them to come together..."

"Like matches...and...gasoline," Blaze said. Splotches of darkness now marred her ivory horns, as the demon's true self reasserted itself over Lois Lane's temporary bimbofication.

“Your cousin, you shook your head earlier, so I’m assuming he’s not a member of our community, and those are not his subs. How’d he accomplish to build such an impressive harem? ” Becca asks.

"Asked and answered," Lois said. "I suppose that's one way to add in a complication and keep the story going."

"Can't all be...sex," Blaze said, a little more like her old self. "Character-building. Attachment. Try to do something more than just write a spank story. Needs more than just...incident."

“You can’t just command me out of nowhere Junior. We have to negotiate terms first. Like, what’s my safeword; or, what are my do’s and don’ts.” Viv replies, with a naughty tone to her voice.

"I think I would rather floss my labia than see Viv try to train Jay Daughterfucker into being a dom," the corrupted reporter said. Her free hand slid up and she moved forward a little so that she could slip it behind Blaze's back. The two cuddled closer.

"Viv would probably consider the app cheating," the scarlet succubus said. "Thought at least it might be some interesting drama to the harem dynamics. Naughty girls lining up to be spanked. Unique safewords. An alternative to expanding the harem exponentially."

“To our boyfriend’s huge dick!”

"I feel the hugeness of his dick should have been foreshadowed with leaving his fuckbuddies sore in the morning," Blaze said dryly. Her horns were entirely black now, and the roots of her golden hair was turning black as well. Lois smiled. As much as she enjoyed a little table-turning, it was nice to have the old Blaze back.

“We spin a bottle!”

"Decisions were made in this story," Lois said. "I don't think saktongmanyak outlined this, but they worked diligently to try and create a particular vibe and characters so that the situation would unfold organically, with only a dozen or so deus ex machinas."

"Decisions were made," Blaze agreed. "And the writing isn't terrible. I think it's actually gotten better over the last ninety chapters, which is more than we can say for some authors. I still don't particularly like any of the characters, but that isn't because they aren't well drawn. Just because Jay is a creep and it's creepier that everyone in his life now is okay with it. Like, Jay is basically Neil Gaiman with a magic app."

“Definitely.”, “Yup.”, “We would’ve asked you out for him if he didn’t do it soon.”

"I called this, and I'm still unhappy about it," the reporter said with a sigh.

“Stop hiding the erection from us, Daddy.” Stella teases you.

"That will never not be creepy," Blaze said. "And saktongmanyak knows it and is doing it on purpose."

“I’m going to have to call for negotiations at the risk of injury. I can’t shove an entire champagne bottle up my butthole.” Viv says calmly.

"Remember when this was a story about a magical app?" Lois mused.

"Vaguely," Blaze replied. "Seems a long time ago."

“Based on Diane’s stories about your dates, you would’ve planned something boring, and still somehow make it romantic.”

"That is kindof an accurate summary," Lois said. "Although I'm not sure about the romantic parts. Jay always tends to wake up and find his dick in somebody's mouth and the ladies think that's romantic."

A middling writer of fiction?

"I want to reiterate that 1) we still haven't seen Jay Daughterfucker write anything, and 2) he's apparently able to support himself and an apartment with his writing. Which is not easy, let me tell you," Blaze said.

"They call them starving artists for a reason," Lois added. "Still not sure why or how we added Rich Bitch to the shortlist for this harem. I think I liked it better when I thought Viv was a lesbian immune to Jay's magic app charms."

“My body is ready for you to do with it as you wish, Mistress. My pussy is ready for you to play with, and my mouth is yours to use!” The Slut hungrily answers Mistress’ question.

"Domination," Blaze said. "Is a highly stylized form. Getting the tone and form correct is tricky. Lots of nuance, capturing the emotions, the playfulness, the seriousness."

"It's a good try," Lois reflected. "Doesn't quite work for me, but I'm rarely into 'scene' stories. As it is, this is kind of an extended break before we get back to..."

“Can I ask more about your cousin?”

"...that," Lois sighed.

The two demonic women lay, arm in arm on the bed. Blaze's normal coloring had re-asserted herself, but her breasts were still swollen, and Lois Lane's little pink horns struck sparks whenever they touched Blaze's bigger, dark horns. It had been a fun review, but it was near the end. They could both feel it, and struggled to put the experience into words as the last chapters wound down.

“Felt like you were a third wheel?” Brooke asks.

"I feel like a lot of these characters just...open up far too quickly. There's no ****, no hurt, no drama, no unpacking. As a consequence, there's also no real catharsis," Blaze said. "The Affection Multiplier App feels like it's a gimmick for cheap sex stories, and the idea that it can work as the seed for a long-form harem story is fine, but the meat of the story vacillates between lovey-dovey sex and these moments where women fall into the inescapable gravity of Jay Daughterfucker's penis and suddenly blurt out all their life secrets like...I don't know. Like a bitch presenting herself to be mounted."

"Jay does seem to like them a bit damaged," Lois observed. "I think all of the women in his current harem have some degree of daddy or abandonment issues."

"And that, perhaps, is where we leave things off for now," Blaze said. "Not with a climax, but roughly a third of a way through a long, ongoing, and not badly written story. While we may not be into the particular kinks at play—"

"—and Jay is absolutely the villain," Lois added.

"—saktongmanyak has put a tremendous amount of work into the story, far more than most writers," the scarlet succubus finished.

"Will the app make another appearance? Do the points matter? Will Jay buy some bullshit option? How long before he actually knocks up his own daughter!?" Lois Lane said with a wicked smile. "Read on yourself and find out, because this Lois & Blaze, signing off!"