Hope

The following chapter is written in 3rd person POV, following Viv and Brooke.

“Were you really okay with Cassie putting a bottle up your butt?”

Brooke asks Viv on their drive home from The Aphrodite. Jay’s in the back seat with them, passed out from the amount of **** he drank tonight. Since Brooke was the one who carried him, the girls decided it would be easier that he just goes with Brooke and Viv on their drive back to the apartment building, while Tanya and Cassie took care of Stella.

“No! Of course not!” Viv answers with a laugh. “I just wanted to see how far Cassie would go. That girl’s got a fire in her that she doesn’t let out much. Just wanted to see her let loose.” Viv replies with a chuckle.

“So what would you have done if she actually did it?” Brooke asks, laughing at her answer.

“I would’ve tapped out the moment the bottle tip touched my ass cheeks.” Viv replies, still laughing.

“What about the having sex in front of people just for a dare then? That seemed like it was a real thing you did, based on what Celeste said and how you reacted. So, it just seemed like you were really okay with it happening.” Brooke continues asking.

“Well…” Viv starts, but looks back at Jay in the back seat, making sure he’s passed out. Viv takes a deep breath before starting again. “Since I was given permission to tell Jay about it, and since you and I are going to be part of the girlfriends anyway—” Viv starts, but Brooke cuts her off.

“Okay. Time out. How are you so sure about that? I mean, it’s not like he doesn't already have three gorgeous women as his girlfriends already. What makes you think it’d be that easy to convince him to complicate his life further by adding the two of us? It’s not like we’d be a loss if he doesn’t find us attractive or he doesn’t click with us like he does with those three.” Brooke asks her.

“Wow. You were a lot more confident when you had **** in you.” Viv reacts with a laugh.

“I—” Brooke wanted to react, but Viv stopped her.

“No need to defend yourself, Brooke. We all have our insecurities.” Viv assures her that she understands.

“I thought you don’t have insecurities, since you wear whatever people have against you like armor?” Brooke asks her.

“I do, but it doesn’t mean the armor’s impenetrable; nor does it mean that they’re not insecurities to begin with.” Viv answers.

“What are you insecure about?” Brooke asks.

“If people really like me for me, or they just like me because I’m flirty, or bubbly, or whatever their term is for what they perceive me as.” Viv replies.

“What? That doesn’t seem like something you should worry about.” Brooke replies.

“Okay, what are you insecure about?” Viv asks back.

“My looks. If I’m good enough to be loved. Especially at my age.” Brooke replies.

“What? That doesn’t seem like something you should worry about.” Viv replies sarcastically, but in a lighthearted tone, so that Brooke knows she means well.

“Touché.” Brooke replies.

“We all have our own private battles we deal with, B. Irrational as they are to people other than us.” Viv tells her.

The two women smile at each other, knowing that their struggles may not be the same, but they’re both going through a struggle all the same; and it comforts them in a way, knowing they’re not alone in that feeling.

“You didn’t answer my question though. What makes you so sure it’ll work out?” Brooke asks Viv again.

“I’m not, but there’s no point in worrying about it not working out, so I don’t.” Viv answers.

“That’s not going to work for me.” Brooke replies.

“You can worry about it all you want, B. It still won’t change the fact that nothing is certain in life. I had to learn that the hard way.” Viv replies.

“Okay. Ominous. Want to talk about it?” Brooke asks.

“Yeah, it relates to your original question anyway.” Viv replies, making Brooke confused as to how they’d be connected.

“I used to be part of a BDSM community back home. That’s how I know Becca.” Viv starts explaining, and Brooke isn’t surprised by that tidbit after what happened earlier. “It’s also where I met Hal. Celeste’s boyfriend.” Viv adds, to the shock of Brooke.

“Oh my god! Don’t tell me—” Brooke reacts, but Viv assures her immediately.

“No! I’m not sleeping with him behind her back.” Viv tells her, to Brooke’s relief.

“Hal and I knew each other from the community, while Celeste and I became fast friends after meeting each other in a culinary conference. I was Hal’s sub before they got together. It was casual. He allowed me to have other doms, and I allowed him to sub others; but, it was always ‘us’, you know? We referred to each other as each other’s dom and sub.” Viv explains, and Brooke just nods that she’s listening while she continues to drive.

“When Celeste got divorced, I kinda wanted to cheer her up and expand her horizons; and I thought, she and Hal work together, why not have Celeste join us and see where that goes, you know?” Viv continues. “So she did, and she became part of our BDSM community. It’s where we used to play the TODD, and things got way~ more **** in the BDSM club we used to do it in.” Viv explains the whole having sex for a dare to Brooke as something normal and nothing more than a kink thing in their community.

“Then, Celeste joining Hal and I became a more constant thing. Then they became a thing. Then I started feeling like an actual thing. Like a prop. It wasn’t their fault. They didn’t intend it to be that way, it just…” Viv pauses, and Brooke tries to continue for her with a guess.

“Felt like you were a third wheel?” Brooke asks.

“Yeah.” Viv answers truthfully.

“I’ve been his sub for five years, and I thought it will always be that way; even when he got together with Celeste, because we had our own thing going. I was so sure it would last. I was certain of it.” Viv tells her.

“So that’s why you’re a bit more nihilistic now and think nothing is ever certain, because you guys broke up?” Brooke tries to clarify.

“There was no break up. We were never together.” Viv explains.

“You still had a relationship. Whatever it was you called it. It was still a break up.” Brooke told her. Viv smiles at Brooke’s support.

“Yeah, I definitely took it like it was. I ran away from them. That’s why I’m in this city now.” Viv tells her.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” Brooke asks.

“I was feeling shit, and insecure. Like they were moving in a different direction than I was. I was going through a lot of regret, not telling him how I felt for so long. More than that, I was angry at myself because I was jealous of one of my closest friends. I wanted her to be happy, but I hated her for changing how I was feeling about something I used to love. It was a bad mix of emotions that just resulted in an outburst when I couldn’t take feeling like shit anymore. After one of our sessions, I had an emotional outburst because I just didn’t enjoy myself at all. They didn’t do anything different, it was just my paranoia that made it seem like it was. At the height of my emotional stupidity, I made him choose between me and his girlfriend.” Viv admits.

“Oh, shit.” Brooke reacts.

“Yeah. Bad friend right?” Viv asks rhetorically, a tone of disappointment in herself evident.

“No. I wouldn’t say that. If they couldn’t see you were hurting, they had a part to play in it too. No one’s that good of an actor, Viv. You couldn’t have hidden something that big from them at such intimate moments. Maybe it wasn’t just you being paranoid. Maybe something did actually change in whatever it was they were doing to you, and they chose not to see how it was affecting you.” Brooke suggests.

Viv silently contemplates on that idea, but shakes her head. “It doesn’t really matter now. That’s all in the past, and I’ve made amends with both of them. Right now, that’s all that matters.” Viv replies, and Brooke doesn’t push it any further.

“In any case, it was a learning experience. It’s the thing that made me realize that if you really do want something, then be honest about it. It’s why when ‘Drunky’ over here told me to honestly say what I felt, I said ‘fuck it’ and did it. I hid what I really felt for Hal, thinking that he didn’t need to know, since I thought we had a good thing going already. A good thing that I thought would last. I didn’t want to complicate it with my emotions. Until, my emotions got the best of me.” Viv tells Brooke. “So, yeah. I don’t believe in the idea of a sure thing, since I don’t think anything is. You have to work for it, and make it work once you have it.” Viv adds.

“I’ve tried making it work. Loads of times. It just never seems to.” Brooke says, a bit dejected again.

“B…” Viv responds, holding her hand. “Maybe you tried... but did they try?” Viv asks Brooke. Brooke just smiles at Viv’s reassurance, which is basically what Jay told her earlier as well.

“You wanna know why I feel like it’s worth the risk, dating a guy who already has three girlfriends?” Viv asks Brooke rhetorically. “It’s because I know the girlfriends.” Viv answers her own rhetorical question succinctly, getting Brooke to chuckle in understanding.

“Based on what we talked about the other night, they’re aware that making it work isn’t a sure thing, but they still went with it anyway. Then I heard that they’re willing to give him the leeway to add more girlfriends, because that’s how much they trust him. They’re all taking risks by allowing him to do that, but they love him and each other enough that they’re willing to find a way to make it work. That’s reassuring, to be honest. When you’re not the only one who’s going to try and make it work.” Viv says, sighing contently at the thought she just shared.

“Yeah. We talked about that earlier too. They said that maybe it’s like that because it’s the honeymoon phase. They said they’re worried about not making it work when the honeymoon period is over and the actual hard part of the relationship begins, since the problems that need to be handled are multiplied now.” Brooke replies.

“Yeah. Multiple problems, but also multiple problem solvers.” Viv points out, making Brooke smile at Viv’s positivity.

“You’re not even a part of it yet, and you already sound like you are.” Brooke says in amusement.

“I’m irresistible dahling. I’ll be a paht of it soon enough.” Viv jokes in a fake posh accent, making Brooke laugh.

“I wish I had your confidence.” Brooke tells Viv, who momentarily looks down upon hearing Brooke’s compliment, but immediately recovers her more chipper attitude.

“B, if you had my confidence, you’d be breaking hearts left and right. I think the universe just wanted to temper perfection for the sake of us who are imperfect.” Viv tells her with a wink. Brooke laughs, but also couldn’t help but feel that Viv truly believed it.

“Thanks V, I’d hug you right now if I wasn’t driving.” Brooke tells her, and Viv laughs.

“We’ll hug it out later.” Viv assures her.

“If he rejects you, I’m not going to want to date him now.” Brooke tells Viv, half-jokingly.

“You say that now, but if we do become his girlfriends, ninety-nine percent of the problems you guys are going to have to solve would probably come from me.” Viv says with a laugh.

“Even then, V. Like you said, multiple problem solvers.” Brooke answers her, still looking at the road, but Brooke had a reassuring smile on her face that made Viv believe she was sincere.

“Deal.” Viv says raising a pinky for a pinky swear. Brooke sees it in her peripheral vision and raises her pinky to pinky swear with Viv. As the two women lock pinkies, they both laugh in amusement at their mutual understanding.

“But he’s not going to reject me, because I’m—” “You’re irresistible dahling.” Viv started saying, before Brooke cut her off and copied the fake posh accent she did.

“And you ah puhfection dahling.” Viv replies, before doing a fake posh laugh, getting Brooke to laugh too.

“He’s going to love you, B. He’d be stupid not to.” Viv reassures Brooke.

“Right back at you, V.” Brooke reassures Viv right back, holding her hand in a sign of unity.

The two share this moment of platonic friendship for as long as the universe lets them, which is up until Jay snorts in the back seat, which surprises both of them.

“I’m not stupid.” Jay grunts drunkenly from the back.

“Oh shit.” Viv reacts, blushing a bit, upon hearing Jay. She sighs in relief when she realizes it was just a drunken grunt from him.

“But you are drunk, Junior. Go back to sleep.” Viv tells Jay.

“Mmkay.” Jay replies before turning over and sleeping again, making the women in the front seats laugh once more, relieved that the man they were just talking about didn’t exactly hear what they said.

“I’ve never been more aroused.” Viv reacts sarcastically.

“Have to admit, he has his charms.” Brooke replies.

“Like being ‘three women bragging about how good you are in bed’ kind of charming?” Viv asks back, making Brooke chuckle.

“Oh, if he’s anything as advertised, it’s going to be five women soon.” Brooke answers.

“Confidence is a better look for you, B.” Viv tells her with a genuine smile.

“It’s a lot easier when you’re my hype man.” Brooke replies, offering a fist bump to Viv.

“I’ll be your hype man any time.” Viv answers.

The women bump fists twice, not looking at each other as they do, but at the road ahead… to a hopefully happier future for the both of them.