Life is a carnival.

A fucking sleigh.

A literal horse drawn sleigh driven by one of the neckbeards had been their transportation between the Chalet and the real world. Sure it had transformed into a shuttle bus as soon as they’d hit pavement, but still.

Bob’s clothes had been laid out for him, jeans and a mint green polo. Being a guy who didn’t like making decisions (like what to wear… his entire non-work wardrobe pretty much consisted of black t-shirts and grey sweatpants out in the real world) he’d been more than happy to get them on. He’d just finished putting the shirt on the second time after remembering deodorant when the knock at the door came.

Kayla’s outfit, handcrafted by a Darlene who’d secretly been playing with her sister’s Barbies since she was ten and was thrilled to have someone to play dress up with, was a pair of ripped jeans and a white babydoll t with the word ‘Brat’ printed on the front. Bob had to mentally slap himself to keep from staring at the way it made her tits stand out. She just stood there with uncharacteristic shyness while he drank his fill of her

She’d remained closed-mouthed through the entire trip, and although she’d kept her distance in the sleigh, and later the shuttle her eyes had never left his face.

Bob had spent a summer working at Kennywood Park in his teens. The amusement park on the outskirts of Pittsburgh had a lot of happy memories associated with it for him, but few of those thoughts had crossed his mind in recent years. And he’d never mentioned it to Kayla, so he figured Darlene must have told her. If she’d grown up on the east coast she might have known about it but the furthest east she’d ever been was Nashville on a vacation back when her mom and dad were still on speaking terms.

The park had changed since he’d last been there… must have been twenty years ago before he’d moved to Minnesota following the woman who’d become his first ex-wife. Things had moved, rides had been rethemeed or retired, but it was still like walking back in time to see a lot of his old favorites.

Kayla was thrilled. She held onto his arm and he could see she was having a hard time not skipping down the midway. “So Darlene told you about this place?”

“Yep! She said you’d be super psyched about the roller coasters and told me to make sure you had some Potato Patch fries.” She cuddled up close to him as they stood in line for the Jack Rabbit, laying her head on his shoulder. “She also said that she’d be very disappointed if you didn’t win me a stuffed kangaroo.”

The Jack Rabbit was an old wooden coaster, one of the oldest still in operation, and although Bob had been on a lot of coasters over the years, it remained one of his favorites. The advantage of Pennsylvania’s hilly terrain for a theme park was that unlike other places, the chain lift didn’t have to be used before the first drop. The train pulled right out of the station into a sixty footer. The signature double dip was just as enjoyable as he’d remembered, and although the ride was over all too fast it was just as exhilarating as he remembered.

Kayla’s enthusiasm was infectious, and they did, in fact, end up skipping hand in hand at one point, as they did a circuit of the park taking in all the coasters. For her part, Kayla was just as thrilled by all the sights Bob had to show her as he was to reveal them.

“So… why didn’t you ever ask me out?”

They were seated at an outside table devouring those French fries that Darlene had insisted on. Fresh cut by the 80 lb. sack, deep fried so they were hot but soft, and drenched in cheese sauce, they were decadent. Bob nearly choked on the one in his mouth.

“Um. You kinda made it clear that I was friendzoned. Aside from that, I’m older than your mom.”

Kayla laughed at this. Not a spiteful laugh, the kind that someone does after a really good joke. Bob just stared at her, confusion clear on his face. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted to be pursued? I mean, sure I guess I gave you a lot of mixed signals, but I thought I was being pretty obvious in my interest.”

“Lemme let you in on a little secret Babygirl. You’ve told me over and over that I’m smart. And I am, for most things. But when it comes to picking up on signals, I’m totally clueless.”

“I guess it’s sort of pointless to play hard to get now, huh?” As she said this, Bob could feel her foot gently rubbing up and down his leg. “I’ll try to be more obvious.”

Bob hefted the AR to his shoulder and lined up the iron sights with his target. All of his lessons with a rifle came down to this moment. He was sure of the amount of kick from the weapon, and fully prepared to compensate. His lady depended on his steady hand and sharp eye. He would not disappoint her.

A short burst to get range and then a quick adjustment for Kentucky windage and Arkansas elevation and he opened up, dumping a hundred and eighty rounds down range into the sheet of paper with the red star at the center. The star was completely obliterated, no trace of red on the paper. He had slain the target and was prepared to claim his prize.

The attendant graciously passed him his target which he hastily stuffed into his pocket after laying the fully automatic BB rifle on the counter. He then pointed to a stuffed Kenny Kangaroo doll almost as tall as himself.

Kayla squealed with glee as he handed her the giant stuffy, then immediately dropped it to the asphalt and threw her arms around him in one of her patented full body hugs.

It had been a long day. Hot sun, lots of walking, good company, and random bursts of adrenaline made for a tired couple as they walked toward the park exit. Kayla had become increasingly more affectionate throughout the course of the day, clinging to him during the dark rides and currently was walking with her head pressed to his pectoral.

Bob smiled to himself. This was amazing. All the fun he’d hoped he’d have with Kayla. But it seemed that the little lady still had one more surprise in mind.

Situated right near the exit, it had gone by many names over the years. ‘The Panama Canal’, ‘Garfield’s Nightmare’, a handful of others. Bob’s favorite had always been ‘Hardheaded Harold's Horrendously Humorous Haunted Hideaway’. But through all that it had also always been ‘The Old Mill’. Built in 1901, it was a slow, lazy, dark ride in the form of a boat floating through an abandoned mine. The oldest ride in the park. Kayla dragged him to the queue and asked the ride attendant if they could take the boat by themselves.

The idea that The Old Mill is a water ride is an illusion. The boats, while they do float along, are only in about two feet of water and under them are a series of lifts and rollers that propel them along at a leisurely pace. Their gondola had just left the station and pulled into the overhang when Bob felt Kayla’s hand reaching for his zipper.

“Babygirl…”

“Shut up.” She snaked her hand into his pants, and for the first time ever he cursed his decision to switch to boxer briefs. Her fingers closed around him and he involuntarily stiffened his back and his cock simultaneously.

“But…”

“I said, shut up, old man.” And with that she shut him up by pulling his face down to hers and silencing his protests in the very best way.

Another aspect of the Old Mill’s reputation was that it was often used by young lovers as a semi-public make-out spot. Most of the time the staff would either let it go or take some voyeuristic pleasure in watching couples go at it. One of the more regrettable duties of the opening crew of the park was fishing condoms out of the water.

Bob and Kayla made out like a pair of horny teenagers as her surprisingly skilled fingers teased his dick from semi into full erection. That goal accomplished, the nineteen year old surprised him by putting her transformation to the use it was intended and somehow bending her spine in such an angle that she was able to wrap her full lips around him. Unable to do much more than suck due to the angle, she nonetheless had him ready to burst in seconds and with a groan he released into her mouth.

She swallowed it all down greedily, and continued sucking as he slowly wilted in her mouth. Happy with her efforts, she kissed the tip gently and tucked him back in, zipping him up just as the boat pulled out of the tunnel and returned to the station.

“So… was that a clear enough signal for ya?”

(Title: ‘Life is a Carnival’ by The Band)