Mama Don’t Allow

“Wait, what happened?”

Robin looked blearily over their cup of coffee, taking a sip before answering Alicia. “I was trying to escape Heidi last night for a little bit and I went wandering around. One of those guys… I guess propositioned me? Either way he wanted to fuck me. He actually chased me down a hallway and-”

“One of the dwarves attacked you.” Alicia’s school teacher demeanor was in play. Hers was a voice that could cut into the minds of fucking off students directly to the lizard brain and instill fear. Right now it was in interrogation mode. Calm, cool, but demanding answers.

“Well, attacked is a little strong but…”

“But the guy actually chased you down a hallway?” Cassie was getting in on it now.

“Yeah, but…”

Morgan looked across the table. “You ladies thinking what I am?”

Alicia’s cold smile told her everything she needed to know. “Robin, could you identify the specific douchenozzle that went after you?”

“Um… I think so but…”

That was all the three older women needed. Cassie rose to her feet. “Ladies, Robin, we’re going for a walk.”

“But my coffee…”

Morgan had already stood up as well. “Bring it with you. Shit, it’s not like you’re going to steal the mug.”

“But what are we gonna do?”

Alicia’s chuckle sent chills down their spine. “Ever heard of dwarf tossing?”

“Boring pathetic food.” Grýla muttered under her breath as she trimmed the large beef rib primal. “Not a single sheep’s head. Not one bit of smoked lamb. Not even a morsel of fermented shark. And gods forbid that I ask for just one human child.”

The knife, a Dexter Russell 12” chef’s would have looked big in anyone else’s hands, but the fourteen foot tall ogress made it look positively dainty. “And no stew! Hamburger! Pfa! Who wants hamburger?” She began carving the huge piece of meat into steaks, setting aside scraps for the Cat. “Lazy good for nothing husband setting this gig up…”

Her rant was interrupted by the hurried entrance of Þvörusleikir, the skinniest of the little monsters she’d birthed, barreling headlong through the swinging double doors of the kitchen and screaming at the top of his lungs. Hot on his heels were three very angry women.

Þvörusleikir ran behind his mother and clung to her leg shivering, while the women drew up short surveying the ogress.

“What’d the little shit do this time?” There was a clear note of exasperation in the voice of the hulking female.

Cassie, clearly the spokesperson of the little lynch mob, cleared her throat. “He tried to **** himself on our friend.” She gestured toward Robin, who had slunk into the room and was now cowering behind her.

The giantess sighed. “Yeah, that was kinda part of the contract if it happened after midnight. ‘Between the hours of midnight and four AM, any of the girls found outside their room, the Master’s suite, or any prearranged meeting space are subject to whatever freeuse the discovering member of the staff is capable of visiting upon them.’ So he **** himself on some girl. So what?”

“…not a girl…” Robin mumbled.

“Not a girl?” Grýla peered over Cassie’s head at the red haired non-binary that looked like they were about to wet their pants. “You looks like a girl.” She sniffed the air. “But ya don’t smell like one. In fact you smell good enough to eats.”

With a slightly dreamy look the ogress reached down and picked up her son by the scruff of his neck and held him in front of her. She shook him like a magic 8-ball and dropped her knife to pick up a long wooden spoon. “Not a girl, you idiot! Not a girl. Trying to bugger a little boy!” She started wailing on him with that spoon like Adrian Peterson with one of his kids and a tree branch.

The girls, followed by Robin, burst into fits of laughter. Alicia spoke up. “Actually, ma’am, we’d like to dispense our own justice.”

“…not a boy…”

Þvörusleikir was blindfolded. He had no idea where he was, and was more than a little afraid. “Whatch’er gonna do ter me?”

The older one’s voice came to his ears. “Teach you a lesson. One we hope you will explain to your brothers.”

With that, he felt a foot planted in the small of his back and then he was airborne. For a long moment he was certain he’d just been kicked off of one of the chairlifts and was plummeting to his ****, then he hit the water.

The girls laughed as they walked away from the pool leaving the sputtering dwarf behind.

(Title: ‘Mama Don’t Allow’ by The Asylum Street Spankera)