Kiss the page.

She puckers up and gives a gentle kiss on the middle of the page. Certainly something that is well overdue for such a well-written article, but overall it didn't do much.

At the very least it shall provide sufficient practice for when...
Hang on.

Something got smeared on the newspaper?
Is that gum?
Did you get gum on my newspaper?

I don't believe it. The pink glob is stuck firmly in the middle of the page.
A smirk grows on her face. She leans in to bite the gum, then pulls on it.
Slow and careful No sudden motion. The gum provides her sufficient leverage to tug the page up, then fall gently down.

The next article says
NEW MOTION TO MAKE DEFILING NEWSPAPERS ILLEGAL
The punishment will be nothing short than public spanking. Fake Geniuses are warned.
"Bubble gum belongs in the mouth, not on legitimate news media" says concerned spokesperson.

In the corner, someone wrote something with a black sharpie. A number:
9001

Huh.