K-ENF-C Delivery (With Alice Eve)

Alice Eve savoured the bite of chicken leg between her teeth, slowly gnashing the meat down into paste. A bucket of KFC’s finger lickin’ good chicken was already a heavenly experience, but eating it in the nude was something else.

Not a stitch was to be found on the actor’s bare body. Her medium breasts and pert buttocks were exposed to the world. Why had she never considered nudism and fast food before?

“Ahem,” a server awkwardly coughed. Alice was snapped out of her trance as she observed the aghast and bewildered looks of the people around her. For whatever reason, she couldn’t wait to dig in to her meal, and had stripped her clothes in the restaurant right then and there.

A voiceover plays:

You must not remove your clothes at KFC. You will be ejected, and the police may be called.

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Before she can protest, Alice kicked out of the restaurant and onto the streets, with nothing but an 8 piece chicken bucket to her name. With her clothes left behind in the restaurant, she was **** to use her bucket as cover. She held it tightly over her crotch, which left her breasts and butt still exposed. While Alice was able to squeeze her upper arms over her nipples, she was **** to tense up and stretch her arms to an absurd degree, which left a hint of her blonde landing strip peeking above the bucket rim.

Alice began to awkwardly crab walk, as pedestrians gazed on the nude celeb. She only made it a few blocks before a police car pulled up beside her. “I don’t think you have a license for that miss.” The police woman sarcastically remarked as she wrenched Alice’s hands behind her back, forcing her to drop the chicken bucket.

“Hey Sarah,” the policewoman’s partner said, eyeing the fallen bucket and its spilled contents, “isn’t it our lunch break?”

“You’re right. Might as well pop into the KFC nearby. Although we can’t leave this one in the police car, it’s a really hot day.”

“I know!” The policewoman stood Alice in front of a lamppost, pulled her arms behind her and cuffed her wrists. Alice was now firmly secured to the lamppost, and unable to cover herself.

“There, she won’t be going anywhere.”

“Wait!” Alice protested. “You can’t leave me like this! People will see me! My acting career will be ruined!”

“I’d say you did that to yourself.”

“But what if I didn’t strip naked? What if my clothes were stolen? Then you’d be in trouble!” Alice hoped her acting skills were good enough to stop the police calling her bluff.

“Fair point.” The policewoman grabbed the now empty bucket, and placed it over Alice’s head. “There, now you’re anonymous!”

Alice’s protests went ignored as the officers headed to the restaurant. She didn’t know how long she waited, but it felt like an eternity. With her vision obscured by the bucket, she was fortunate in not having to meet the eyes of passers by who looked upon her. On the other hand, this also meant that she had no idea how many really saw her.

Her embarrassed and shame riddled mind conjured up all kinds of horrifying images, of crowds gathering to see the naked woman with a KFC bucket for a face. She thought of the photos they must be taking, and how they’d spread like wildfire across social media. Alice’s paranoia worsened with every second, the adrenaline pumping through her body made the even the faintest sounds seem bigger than they were. Was that giggling? Or the birds tweeting? Was that a camera snap? Or a tree branch rustling? The ambiguity was killing her.

And that’s why there’s KFC delivery. Because nobody wants to be handcuffed naked to a lamppost with a bucket on their head. But some people would probably like to see that.

“You couldn’t have told me that earlier?!!”

The advert ends on the sight of a squirming and still naked Alice. Bucket still planted on her head, and her body glistening in sweat, shining in the sun’s rays. The frame too small for a viewer to discern if Alice’s fears were correct.