It all starts a few days before Christmas…

You had just left your latest job a few days ago. With the job market as it is, you knew you could do better. You want to sleep in some days without getting hassled, you know? Or just take an unscheduled day off to read and watch dickgirl porn…but the boss was on your case about that too! Well now he needs to find someone else as great as you. Good luck!

You went onto the job sites and applied for everything north of six figures. Companies are **** these days. You just have to smile and nod and when they ask how you are at *whatever* you just say you are great at it! You can get by for months by playing the new guy card until they realize you don’t have the skills needed and then they don’t even fire you but tell you they will pay for your education to get you trained. As if! You aren’t going back to school when you finished ten grades already!

Within hours, you are getting calls. A few years ago, you would get hung up on if you asked what you applied for, but now they explain everything as a reminder when you say you are fielding hundreds of offers. (which isn’t a lie) You usually decline each one unless it seems like you can literally sit around and get paid thousands a week for it.

Warehouse jobs? Too loud. Office work? Paper chafes your skin. Sales? You aren’t waking up before noon! CEO? You need your weekends and holidays off…and you practice every religion so you get every holiday off.

This goes on for hours. Eventually you stop answering the phone. Finding work is too much work! What a drag. You put your phone on Do Not Disturb and pull up Chyoa to see if your favorite stories had any updates.

Your phone starts ringing. You are about to dismiss it…but you remember you put it on DND…