I reincarnated as a Homunculus in a steampunk world with famous 19th century characters but everyone is gender-swapped, by Alibara

“Happy national pet health insurance day everyone. Today we are reading I reincarnated as a Homunculus in a steampunk world with famous 19th century characters but everyone is gender-swapped, by Alibara”

“Can’t we just claim we read it and move on? The fucking title already spoils everything.”

“Gina please.”

“Is this another one of those...I see Kay trash unkown always writes?”

“Well yes, but this is not unkown(I think) so it might actually be good.”

“No, it won’t.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

The girl undoes the straps and I get off the table. I look in the mirror to see a feminine looking green skinned boy with long black hair with white streaks going down both sides. If not for the monster cock, I would have thought I had reincarnated into the body of a girl.

“We are off to a swell start.”

“Yes, our main character, Caleb, got reincarnated into this steampunk...well you all read the title.”

“The only thing we have to add to this shitfest is that we are basically Frankenstein.”

“Actually, Gina, that would be Frankenstein’s monster.”

“FUCK YOU, SARCKLE!”

“Ehem.”

“So yeah, this is some bizarro world from old ass books like Sherlock Holmes and Frankenstein but all the guys are girls. I’m sure sumedokin would get a kick out of it but I don’t read trash.”

“You are reading stories on here though, Gina.”

“Touche, Marcie.”

“...she didn’t say the iconic line.”

“Who cares.”

“I care. You can’t have a Frankenstein spoof and not say the line. That is like having a Star Wars spoof and not making a “I am a father joke” I am very displeased.”

“Marcie for fucks sake this is the first chapter! We have 49 more where that comes from!”

“Oh, well. Moving on, our protagonist decides to make the most out of his literary knowledge and helps a Sherlock Holmes villain making a clean getaway.”

“Seems like a bit of a weird thing to do right after entering this world, but ok.”

“It is particularly weird because this whole segment has pretty much zero impact on the story. Caleb just does that thing and then moves on. The author even forgets that he got a substantial amount of money for helping the villains. One of the readers had to remind Alibara that Caleb is in fact not poor.”

“You know Marcie, that girl in the comments basically already did our job by pointing out all the mistakes. So…”

“No, Gina.”

“Ugh.”

“Well then, next we switch perspective to a group of english guardsman who are up to no good. We then switch perspective again to dashing phantom thief Arsene Lupin.”

“This is chapter four by the way. We got three very short chapters with our main protagonist, one of them dedicated to filler before switching perspective.”

“To be fair, Caleb is easily the worst part of the story.”

“WHAT?”

“My, you disagree, Gina?”

“I don’t, but I don’t get why you don’t like the femboy. You are usually into that sissy shit.”

“I only like them when they are getting dominated. And that isn’t the case here. I mean, there are some very light female dominant scenes but that’s about it. Caleb is a complete doormat, but unlike other doormats he doesn’t get dominated. It is rather unpleasant.”

“I shouldn’t have asked. Turns out the soldiers are actually after Caleb but Lupin saves him. Where’s Victoria? No fucking idea, the author probably forget about her as well.”

“Err, I don’t think we even mentioned Victoria yet, Gina.”

“That’s how forgettable she is!”

For reasons I cannot disclose, Monsieur, I have come to steal your heart.

"My heart?"

"Yes. Literally. But I won't take it for free." Lupin says.

“Ehem, I do hope it is not actually literally. It certainly does not appear so. Which means this is another case where literally is used instead of figuratively. It makes me very angry.”

“Lovely, Marcie. Oh hey, a sex scene.”

“Yes, Caleb and Lupin proceed to have intercourse while Caleb complains that he never had sex before because girls don’t like guys with small penises.”

“...are we sure this isn’t unkown?”

“Don’t be silly, Gina. There hasn’t been a single spanking scene so far.”

I lick some egg that had fallen from Lupin's toast onto her breasts. I never knew eggs could be so erotic.

“That’s because they aren’t. Eggs are the third least erotic food out there.”

“Right. As it turns out these soldiers that wanted to kidnap Caleb are operating under the orders of someone named Septima who’s planning...something. Since Lupin is an honorable thief she decides to put a stop to Septima’s plan, whatever it is.”

“Lupin is joined by a mechanic girl named Nemo. And the two even have some not shit banter. Seriously just ditch Caleb and make this a lesbian story. Instant improvement.”

“We have dunked on Caleb long enough, Gina. The group travels to London and the author actually does a decent job of setting up this steampunk nightmare of a city.”

"You should have told me you were going to use a give me a fake name, and don't start with the 'ad-libbing'. There was no zero for you not to warn me.

“Did Alibara suddenly get a stroke?”

“Perhaps? The writing up until now was, while not particularly outstanding, devoid of any typos. So it is rather weird to suddenly see something like this.”

“The writing isn’t the only thing that turned to shit. Ever since the group got to fog city the pacing has been absolutely atrocious.”

“Up until London, there was a decent amount of progress in the plot but ever since it has adopted a rather meandering pace.”

“Let me just power through this boring trash. Group gets to London, go to their hideout, go to the doctor, go to the casino. Aha! There is the spanking scene. I knew it!”

“Indeed. But it is a surprisingly well written one, so it can’t be unkown.”

“Next “important” plot point I guess is that another girl joins our group, Hellsing.”

“Actually, it is spelled Helsing, Gina.”

“Great. The name was the only interesting part and you ruined that for me.”

“Also you skipped over the fight scene.”

“Oh pardon me, Marcie! Forgive me that I didn’t feel the need to mention yet another boring ass chapter of people standing around and talking!”

“Next up we cut to everyone having breakfast.”

“WHICH MEANS MORE TALKING!”

"There is something else I'd like to ask, if I may. You said something curious; the person you're seeking is immortal?" Victoria asks.

"Is that the secret you're unravelling?" I ask.

"Yes." Van Helsing says.

"Come on, it's the 19th century! This isn't the Dark Ages. You don't believe in that mystical mumbo-jumbo, do you?" Nemo asks.

"That certainly is interesting. Can you tell us more? What makes you say she is immortal?" Doreen asks.

"The woman was assassinated in the past." Van Helsing says.

"Assassinated? So someone survived an attempt. How does that make her immortal?" Victoria asks.

"She didn't survive it. She came back." Van Helsing says.

"That's insane. Are you sure it wasn't simply a body double or a decoy?" Lupin asks.

"Impossible. I confirmed this with the one responsible for the . I was told that it was definitely her." Van Helsing says.

"Then perhaps your assassin didn't finish the job." Doreen says.

"According to the report, the target's head was blown clean off." Van Helsing says.

"Then, uh... You're saying that the girl you're looking for died, then came back to life?" Nemo asks.

"Yes, I think I've made that clean." Van Helsing says.

"Hold on. I don't know who you're looking for, but if you're going to confront this woman, and unravel her secrets, just what are you going to do with her after that, Van Helsing?" Lupin asks.

"That's none of your concern. It's better for both of us if you don't know." Van Helsing says.

“Let us use this snipped to illustrate the problem. This is script writing, it would work in a visual media like film or video games, but it simply does not flow properly in text.”

"Let me say something nice. It's not as bad as in the werewolf story, but that isnt saying much."

“In addition, the character in the story might care about this conversation but we as the reader do not. Given the setting, somebody being immortal really isn’t that big of a twist. So, cut this conversation down to size.”

“Would be nice if you followed your own advice and cut this fucking review down, Marcie.”

“Basically, the only important plot point that happens in this chapter is what the title already spoils, Caleb receives training from the girls.”

“I wouldn’t call the fucking training arc important.”

“On the bright side we get to choose which girl trains us. There are some choices in this story, like which girl to accompany. I can appreciate this.”

“Surprisingly, we both agree that Nemo is the most interesting one of the bunch.”

“Nemo is the inventor of the group with an overinflated sense of ego, which makes for some interesting dynamic. Lupin has potential as well, but Alibara seemed to have forgotten about her characterization halfway through the story, so now her role mostly consists of insulting Nemo. Helsing and Victoria are just kinda bland.”

“Oh yeah, Victoria joined up with the group again. We skipped over that because that’s how forgettable she is.”

“There are some side characters as well, like the owner of the mansion and a doggirl but...again there is just very little to them.”

"Nemo, your lessons are very education. Thank you." I say.

“Yeah, much education.”

“In these later chapters, stuff like this pops up more and more. It is always rather depressing when an authors writing degrades as time goes on.”

Am I to be spanked with this paddle? "I think we're supposed to get naked."

“I am getting awfully suspicious here, Marcie.”

“Err, yes, but no scat so far. I’d say Alibara is still in the clear.”

“So, everyone is getting naked and...EXCUSE ME, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!”

“This whole spanking scene was rather abrupt. The mansion owner just randomly decides to have a naked group spanking session and everyone agrees to it.”

“Why is everyone down to it? Why is Helsing who was introduction as a tough as nail no nonsense bitch just going along with this? What the fuck is this characterization? WHY, it is almost like this author likes to completely rewrite a characters personality on the fly! Hmmm, where have we seen that behavior before, Marcie?”

“Correlation does not imply causation, Gina. So far, all you have brought forth is circumstantial evidence. You can’t accuse someone just...”

I chuckle. "You know there's a lot of stories in my world about Indian women named Ria having sex with guys named Dan."

“It’s unkown.”

“Oh right, this is totally unkown.”

“I fucking knew it.”

“Well, she got better at hiding it at least. Good for her.”

“Nah, Marcie. I just think you got dumber.”

“Why, I never!”

“AND THEN WE ARE BACK TO THIS BULLSHIT TRAINING ARC FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER BREAKFAST SCENE, WHAT THE FUCK! DO SOMETHING INTERESTING, YOU APATHETIC FUCKS!”

"Mmm! This salad is really good." Victoria says.

“I beg your pardon? What kind of degenerate eats salad during breakfast?”

“No fucking clue, but oh look! It appears finally something exciting is happening! The group FINALLY decides to go after the big bad! They come up with a whole elaborate plan involving trains. But this fucker! This fucking fucker decided to put in a fucking filler arc with fucking whales first!”

“So, when you think whales and literature you of course think Moby Dick….Moby Dick….Moby... DICK!”

“Marcie? Please stop doing that thing with your eyes. You’re scaring me.”

“This is a story about genderbent characters, Gina.”

“Yes?”

“And this is a portion about Moby Dick.”

“Yes?”

“THE JOKE WRITES ITSELF! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE SUCH BRILLIANT MATERIAL UNTOUCHED? THIS IS THE WORST THING UNKOWN HAS EVER DONE! SHE SINGLEHANDEDLY RUINED COMEDY!”

“It’s not like we got to the whale anyway since captain cunt is too busy flogging crew members. Got to hand it to unkown. She managed to hold it in pretty long but at this point her perverted desire to whip people finally won over.”

“We spend a few chapter with this nonsense before Moby sigh Dick finally shows up. After a mercifully short action scene, Ahab has a very quick change of heart.”

"I have been a bad captain and nearly got my whole crew killed for a pointless vendetta. I want someone to whip me."

“Ugghh…”

“Now that this filler is over, we return back to the mansion.”

“"I'm going to spank you. Take off your clothes." Victoria says.

“Uggggghhhhh!”

“I think this is as much as Gina can handle. Luckily, we are almost done.”

“I’m almost done.”

Using a device created by Nemo, Lupin will cut off the train car from the car ahead, including the locomotive engine.

The train car that was cut off will continue rolling to the end of the line, running on one of Nemo's inventions.

“We glossed over it until now but the amount of magical device x employed in this story is really rather annoying.”

“Marcie, from all the things in this story this is the least of our worries. But I don’t care, we are done! Yes! Freedom, at last!”

“Whew, this was a long one. What do you think, Gina?”

“I knew this was unkown from the start.”

“Eh, yes, but I mean, the story.”

“The beginning of this was almost decent, but unkown just couldn’t keep her spank fetish in check.”

“Yes, there is nothing wrong with having a fetish, but the story really gives no indication that spanking is featured this prominently. In fact, there are no spanking scenes in the first half of the story only to then dogpile them on the poor unsuspecting reader.”

“The premise is also not shit, it’s just the execution that’s garbage.”

“I concur. There is some potential in the character dynamics that unfortunately remains mostly untapped. If this was a story about meeting various genderbent 18th centuries figures, perhaps in a short story format it would make for a pretty good read. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Instead what we are ending up with is a boring, unfocused main plot centering around a villain doing something.”

“Which we still don’t know what it is 50 chapters in.”

“That said, the story does have a rather high like count, averaging around 20 likes per chapter. This is even more impressive considering the rather low views. Some of these later chapters have a like per view ratio of 50% or more. That is a ratio even the greatest stories on here could only dream about. Very impressive.”

“Why are you smirking like that, Marcie?”

“Must be your imagination. At any rate...”

“Marcie, we are on page fucking twelve.”

“Oh, right. We should wrap things up. Err…let’s see...Moby Dick, Free Willie, Sperm whale, why are whales so obsessed with the male organ?”

“This is why I prefer sharks.”