Caleb answers

"So they're done a review of our story?"

"And picked me every time."

"It leads me to doubt Marcie and Gina's intelligence."

"Wait a minute, how are readers supposed to tell which of us is which?"

"That is a good question. There are six of us, after all."

Caleb: "We use this format?"

Doreen: "That is a good idea, Caleb."

“The only thing we have to add to this shitfest is that we are basically Frankenstein.”

Victoria: "Technically Caleb would be more like the Bride of Frankenstein."

“...she didn’t say the iconic line.”

Victoria: "Actually, I did when I created the first one, Evelyn."

“To be fair, Caleb is easily the worst part of the story.”

Caleb: "What?!"

Victoria: "How dare you badmouth my boy!"

“I only like them when they are getting dominated. And that isn’t the case here. I mean, there are some very light female dominant scenes but that’s about it. Caleb is a complete doormat, but unlike other doormats he doesn’t get dominated. It is rather unpleasant.”

Victoria: "I think they might have liked my route better."

“Yes, Caleb and Lupin proceed to have intercourse while Caleb complains that he never had sex before because girls don’t like guys with small penises.”

Caleb: "I didn't complain. I just mentioned it. It's rather peculiar that they'd want something that sounds painful from my own perspective."

Lupin: "I think a lot of those girls get their experience from erotic novels and think the average man has 12 inches as a result."

Doreen: "I imagine those girls probably died as virgins because nobody was good enough or because the only man who was knew there were better fish in the sea for him. Or they actually found someone the 'right size' and had a most painful experience."

Caleb: "Zeebop seems to understand this."

“...are we sure this isn’t unkown?”

Caleb: "Who?"

“Did Alibara suddenly get a stroke?”

Victoria: "Yes. I had to give her CPR. Fortunately, she's okay."

“Let me just power through this boring trash. Group gets to London, go to their hideout, go to the doctor, go to the casino. Aha! There is the spanking scene. I knew it!”
“Indeed. But it is a surprisingly well written one, so it can’t be unkown.”

Nemo: "Why is a spanking scene suspicious to them at all?"

Van Helsing: "It is one of the most common fetishes."

“Oh pardon me, Marcie! Forgive me that I didn’t feel the need to mention yet another boring ass chapter of people standing around and talking!”
“Next up we cut to everyone having breakfast.”
“WHICH MEANS MORE TALKING!”
“Let us use this snipped to illustrate the problem. This is script writing, it would work in a visual media like film or video games, but it simply does not flow properly in text.”

Caleb: "I can't really argue with this. And I don't think the format we're using to respond is helping our case."

Van Helsing: "It's a complex world. Unfortunately, this means exposition scenes. Apparently, they are not Alibara's strong suit."

Victoria: "What's a film? What's a video game?"

Doreen: "They do seem to be under the impression that immortality is a common thing in our setting, for some reason."

“Surprisingly, we both agree that Nemo is the most interesting one of the bunch.”

Nemo: "Ha! Take that, Lupin!"

Lupin: "Obviously Marcie and Gina mustn't be very smart if they kept picking you."

Nemo: "Don't be jealous just because I'm the popular one."

Doreen: "Nemo does seem to be a popular character. Her quirks do make her adorable."

Lupin: "I'm not jealous! They just don't appreciate a well written character, such as yours truly!"

“Nemo is the inventor of the group with an overinflated sense of ego, which makes for some interesting dynamic. Lupin has potential as well, but Alibara seemed to have forgotten about her characterization halfway through the story, so now her role mostly consists of insulting Nemo. Helsing and Victoria are just kinda bland.”
“Oh yeah, Victoria joined up with the group again. We skipped over that because that’s how forgettable she is.”

Victoria: "I dare say their opinion would be different if they had decided to follow someone else."

Lupin: "Alas, Victoria, they chose Nemo every time, so she ended up seemingly like most interesting one."

Caleb: "I think a problem with our story is that it's designed to be read multiple times. It's like playing Fate/Stay Night. If you only play the Fate route, you can't appreciate Unlimited Blade Works or Heaven's Feel."

Victoria: "There were plenty of femdom scenes in my route, which Marcie or Gina appear to be into."

Caleb: "They seem to take issue with the spankings, so I doubt they'd like your route any better. It's a little hard to tell which is Marcie and which is Gina."

“Why is everyone down to it? Why is Helsing who was introduction as a tough as nail no nonsense bitch just going along with this? What the fuck is this characterization? WHY, it is almost like this author likes to completely rewrite a characters personality on the fly! Hmmm, where have we seen that behavior before, Marcie?”

Caleb: "I don't see why a 'tough as nails nonsense bitch' can't also be a masochist. I don't see how this is 'rewriting' a character's personality."

Doreen: "An interesting thing about Van Helsing and Victoria is that they both appear to be into the opposite of what you'd expect. Victoria at first glance, comes across as a submissive, but in actuality she likes to spank Caleb. Oh don't blush, Victoria."

Victoria: "I'm not!"

Doreen: "And Van Helsing seems like someone who would be a dom, but in reality, she'd rather play the submissive."

“It’s unkown.”
“Oh right, this is totally unkown.”
“I fucking knew it.”
“Well, she got better at hiding it at least. Good for her.”

Nemo: "Huh?"

Van Helsing: "Presumably, unkown was one of the people who wrote those stories about an Indian woman named Ria being pimped to old people by a boyfriend named Dan."

Victoria: "But haven't a lot of people done that?"

Lupin: "Their conclusion has a lot of leaps in logic."

“So, when you think whales and literature you of course think Moby Dick….Moby Dick….Moby... DICK!”
“Marcie? Please stop doing that thing with your eyes. You’re scaring me.”
“This is a story about genderbent characters, Gina.”
“Yes?”
“And this is a portion about Moby Dick.”
“Yes?”
“THE JOKE WRITES ITSELF! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE SUCH BRILLIANT MATERIAL UNTOUCHED? THIS IS THE WORST THING UNKOWN HAS EVER DONE! SHE SINGLEHANDEDLY RUINED COMEDY!”

Lupin: "That is some low hanging fruit."

Caleb: "How would anyone even know what gender Moby Dick even is? Moby Cunt or Pussy makes no sense."

“It’s not like we got to the whale anyway since captain cunt is too busy flogging crew members. Got to hand it to unkown. She managed to hold it in pretty long but at this point her perverted desire to whip people finally won over.”

Lupin: "At this point they seem completely convinced our author must be this unkown person for reasons that don't make a whole lot of sense."

Nemo: "It's a 19th century sailing ship. Floggings are not unusual."

Caleb: "It seemed like an appropriate fetish to use at this point in the story."

“Yes, there is nothing wrong with having a fetish, but the story really gives no indication that spanking is featured this prominently. In fact, there are no spanking scenes in the first half of the story only to then dogpile them on the poor unsuspecting reader.”

Van Helsing: "It's in the tags."

“I concur. There is some potential in the character dynamics that unfortunately remains mostly untapped. If this was a story about meeting various genderbent 18th centuries figures, perhaps in a short story format it would make for a pretty good read. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Instead what we are ending up with is a boring, unfocused main plot centering around a villain doing something.”

Van Helsing: "Why is Caleb laughing?"

Caleb: "They said '18th century figures'. I'm pretty sure they meant 19th. They also 'tough as nail', when they meant 'tough as nails' plural. And they complain about Alibara's grammar."

Van Helsing: "Perhaps Gambio had a stroke."

Victoria: "I hope he's all right."