I Have Questions

How. I ask her how. And somehow that question is enough to make her slow and look at me as if she doesn't understand what I'm saying.

And I'm too embarassed by the idea to properly put it into words but I know I'm not going to get anywhere if I don't, so I manage to stammer through it.

"I mean I'm just... Why? Like is it a stamina thing? Do they last longer? I mean, what's the difference?"

I think I know what she's going to say before she even does. I think I understand, because I thought the same thing as well. Only instead of it being a guy and sex, it's her and making me cum by eating me out.

And I'm right, "Baby it's everything. It's the way they move their hips and the way they touch your body. It's the way they look at you and the way they don't rush. Older men just know what they're doing and they not so overwhelmingly excited just to get inside of you that they're too enthused to actually do the job right. Older guys just know how to treat a lady. And I am clearly a lady to be treated right. Also clearly a lady, just to make that understood."

"A lady," I nod, "Right out of Victorian England."

"Prim and proper," she nods firmly.

"Full of morals."

"Full of sensibility. And Pride. And Prejudice. And everything else that Austen wrote about."

"Technically Austen was Georgian, not Victorian," I correct her.

"Nerd," she shoots back, and both of us fall into peals of laughter.

Laughter that carries us halfway back to the group and barely settles down. While mine settles down before hers does, as another thought seizes me along with the memory of everything else.

Because I cannot forget, even if it's hard to remember sometimes, that I'm not just here to have fun. I have to remember that it's not just my life in question here.

I have responsibilities. I have something to do.

Something important not just for my own future, but everyone elses as well.

And so once she's done laughing I have another question for her, and this one is definitely going to be harder for her to answer.

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