Host and Producer Interview Excerpt: Lily and J

A tall, pale skinned woman with exaggerated curves, in a provocative black dress, with a folded set of owl's wings on her back and lustrous waves of black hair appears on half the screen. The other half is filled with golden light, emanating from some bright source at the center of the scene, nearly dazzling in its radiance. An unseen interviewer asks both of them questions. The chevron names the winged woman Lilith, Host of Harem Hotel: Dungeon Crawl, and the presence in the light as J, Producer of Harem Hotel: Dungeon Crawl. It seems you caught the tail end of the joint interview.

The interviewer, a woman who is out of frame but sounds faintly breathless, asks: "Did you see Laura's resurrection coming, or were you genuinely shocked?"

Lilith smirks. "As our viewers will know quite well, anything which adds a new member to the harem has to be at least considered as a possibility. I can’t say that I would have done it in quite the same way, of course - having the Master dive into a river to retrieve his drowning love does seem to fit Arabella’s… current predilections, of course, but it’s a highly unusual approach to take on Harem Hotel."

Nearly as soon as she stops answering, a majestic voice echoes from somewhere within the light: "It’s hard to find anything truly surprising, of course, but it is always delightful to witness the ways in which our contestants are able to grow their existing bonds. Over the course of My time as a Producer for Harem Hotel, I’ve come to greatly appreciate the unique opportunities we can present to allow for bonds to flourish that might otherwise have been neglected."

The interviewer pauses, seemingly to gather her thoughts, then continues. "As you have mentioned, Lily, this is an unusual approach to resurrection in Harem Hotel, although of course, Laura's soul was never earmarked by the Producers and couldn't be recovered via the usual channels. For reasons currently unclear, earmarking it backwards in time was also not a possibility. Given all this, how do you think Laura has been changed by dying and returning?"

The Voice within the light responds: "The interesting part to me is the juxtaposition of Laura’s internal sense of continuity, as enabled by the magic of the transformation, with her conscious knowledge of her own ****. It—mortality—is a topic that has always fascinated Me, but of course the rules of most realities offer so few opportunities to allow mortals to experience it, so I seldom have the chance to experience new perspectives on the topic. In Laura’s case, I think that her struggles to reconcile her present day circumstances with her extant memories will offer her a challenge that she’ll need to overcome for the good of all involved."

Lilith shrugs and adds: "How people are affected by the time they spend dead is, of course, largely determined by the particulars of how that time goes. In Laura’s case, I’m sure that being crystallized in the mind of her little boy-toy had a lot to do with her returning state, while someone who—say, for example, spent their time filling in as a Host on Harem Hotel would—Excuse me, I need to go make a quick phone call." [Lily leaves the frame with a vicious grin on her face]

"Er," the interviewer stammers, "A question while Lilith is away, then. This is Arabella's final season. Do you think it will go out with a bang?"

The Voice grows fond. "I think that what little Arabella is doing is absolutely wonderful. So many new bonds forged, old bonds strengthened—I’m quite proud of her. And them, of course—the contestants and this season’s Master are doing so well, though Arabella’s guidance is responsible for that in no small part."

Returning to her seat, still grinning, the owl-winged woman adds: "Oh, final season? Yes, I’ve heard that one before. I’m sure that my senior as a Host will do a fantastic job, and succeed in transitioning to something else."

There is a rustling of papers, and the interviewer asks hesitantly, "So, given the series of events we've seen over the last several episodes of The HH, what don't we understand about what's happening?"

Lilith, appearing slightly more genuine, bites her lip for a moment. "There is a level of artistry in the alterations being made to the harem that should not be underestimated. New Hosts often suffer from a belief that big dramatic changes lead to big dramatic seasons. Arabella is quite capable of brute ****, of course—look at the first set of changes made to the cast here, for example—but even when the alterations she’s made have been more obvious, there are depths to them which are easy to miss."

The Voice adds: "I think that answering that question directly, might give away too much. Instead, I should act as a good Producer and remind our audience that reruns are available for every single episode of every season ever produce, and encourage them to re-watch little Arabella’s production to see what they missed."

The interviewer follows up. "Thank you both for your time and your insights into how and why Laura's resurrection, at this time in particular, is sure to shake things up for The HH. What does Arabella have planned to top this all? Stay tuned and, as mentioned, reruns are available to subscribers or via one-time purchases at the Harem Hotel store. Thank you for watching!"

• Author's Note. J and Lily/Lilith are characters from Kinje's Dungeon Crawl branch. Check it out!