Harem Hotel: Mommy Issues

“Well, well, well, Selfie has requested a follow up. How quaint. Took you long enough, you fuck.”

“I am surprised that...well, that you are admitting that you were actually looking forward to this, Gina.”

“I was not. But there is a slimegirl in this, Marcie. I still hold hope that this one won’t end up getting a dick.”

“There is only one way to find out.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“At this point of the review I normally would complain about the horrendously uncentered images but that is admittedly a bit difficult to do in lieu of the screeching hellcat sitting next to me.”

*unhinged Gina noises*

“Gina takes umbrage with the fact that the audience voted to turn our new slime girl more, well, human.”

*more unhinged Gina noises*

“Translation: What is the point of having a slime girl if you remove her slime girl qualities? Please allow me to politely object to this turn of events.”

*demented Gina noises*

“Translation: Please kindly mull over the ramifications of your vote going forward and act more responsibly.”

“Ha...Ha...haaaaaa…”

“Oh? That was not even ten minutes of shrieking. You seem to be in a rather composed state today, Gina.”

“At this point, I’m just used to writers ruining slime girls, Marcie.”

“Well, I would say this was really more the audience ruining things.”

“I’m used to that too. Certainly after the fuckers spoiled the stuff with Sylvia.”

“Ah yes, due to the nature of us covering multiple Harem Hotel Branches that was perhaps unavoidable. On the plus side, we do get to spot some rather nice foreshadowing.”

“Maybe so you could do your damn job without any distractions,” Dakota sneered. She picked Sylvia’s cane up off the ground and twirled it for a moment before flinging it back to the blonde. “You’re an embarrassment, you know that?”

“Meh.”

“But we do have a lot of ground to cover, so on with the show. Starting with this rounds transformations. Most of which are rather benign, although I must say, I really like Kim’s.”

Model Employee: As part of her obligation to the show, Kim will now be employed part-time in the designer lingerie boutique. If any of her fellow contestants (or the master) wish to make a purchase, Kim will model the clothes for them, regardless of restrictions to her wardrobe from other transformations. In exchange, she will receive a portion of the BP given for any purchases. (Service Industry)

“Really Marcie.”

“Especially later when we get to see her modeling while being utterly humiliated but still **** to smile. It also features a very nice combination with Rose’s transformation. Body Control is always a plus in my book.”

“Trust me, Marcie. I am aware.”

“Still, a bit of a missed opportunity. Nick could have bought some briefs himself. Imagine the delicious mortification on her face if Kim was **** to modeling those, hehehe...”

“For the sake of my mental well-being let’s just move on to Holly.”

“Ah, yes. Holly. The first contestant to be eliminated and be turned into Nick’s personal maid/****/cuck. I enjoy this, although Nick’s reaction leaves somewhat to be desired.”

“...and why’s that?”

“The first time he gets properly reacquainted himself with Holly’s new role is when Nick is on a date with our newest contestant Mimi, the slimegirl. He has no attachment to Mimi, his full focus should thus be on Holly.”

“Wrong. All the focus should be on the slimegirl. Always. Whenever the slimegirl isn’t on screen all the other characters should ask, where’s the slimegirl?”

“Anyways, my point is that Nick should be in no condition of having sex with a slimegirl while his newly acquired slavegirl watches on from a golden cage.”

“For fucks sake, Marcie, are you even paying attention? They don’t have sex! And Holly gets off on this like crazy!”

“What Holly wants is irrelevant. This is about Nick and what he is comfortable with. Quite frankly, this is Sylvia’s fault. Putting Mimi as the very first date was just a poor decision on her part. Someone like Mary or Dawn would have allowed for a more natural progression.”

“Isn’t it part of the rules that the new girl gets screwed first and then again last?”

“Oh please, Gina. The only thing getting screwed more then the girls are the rules.”

“At least we get some slimegirl cuddles out of it. Even though it’s not as good as it could have been. There was a split transformation. A slimegirl split transformation! How mentally unstable must you be to not pick a slimegirl split transformation?”

“While the transition was done somewhat clumsily, I do enjoy how Holly is not just forgotten now that she has been eliminated. Sachrima does a good job in making sure she shows up every now and then and also showing us that Nick cares deeply about her.”

“Yeah, yeah. We wasted enough time on the cuck. Next is Rose and she decides to just invite all the girls to watch lame ass movies for her date. They don’t even watch Jaws. Seriously, Rose is just...”

“I have to rearrange the displays…” Kim grumbled. “That’s it. That’s all I do. ALL. DAY. Just rearrange the displays, over and over and over again. It’s like, what’s even the point?! Busywork. That’s what it is. Busywork, because of this stupid transformation.”

*sfx of furious shlicking*

“...did you just JERK OFF TO KIM WORKING A DEAD END RETAIL JOB?”

“Can you blame me, Gina? That was...extremely erotic!”

“...I was never as repulsed by you as I am right now, Marcie.”

“Gina. Capitalism is the bedrock of modern civilization. From my point of view not masturbating to it is decidedly unpatriotic.”

“Marcie. If you bring Politics into this, I swear to God...”

“Fine, fine, let us talk about something less offensive.”

“Thank you.”

“Like dead ba…”

“FUCK NO!”

“Well, if you want to talk about your namesake’s sex scene first, by my guest.”

“Grrr…”

“Did you enjoy getting spanked, Gina?”

“For the last time, Marcie. I am not self inserting in that fucking slut!”

“True...pain is not really your thing. You are more into Holly’s **** orgasm denial kink.”

“I-I’m not into that either!”

“But it was a cute scene. Nick attempting to dom was adorable. Unfortunately, sachrima ruined it by using the word maul which is only ever reserved for a particular viciousness of nature. That of one creature whose pure strength completely eclipses another.”

“Can we move on, Marcie?”

“Absolutely, so the dead baby…”

“HELL NO!”

“Gina. We have to address the dead baby elephant in the room at some point.”

“No, we don’t! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“There are a number of conflicts going on in this week. But the center piece, the one that ties everything together is Carly’s complete revulsion towards Mimi, the slimegirl. Who, as it happens looks near identical to Carly.”

“…”

“Carly has an immensely strong reaction towards Mimi. To the point that she as an outright panic attack just looking at her. The reason for this was heavily foreshadowed but left to simmer for quite a while before the truth was finally revealed.”

“Ungh…”

“Carly’s daughter died minutes after birth and looking at Mimi is a constant reminder of her **** child.”

“Marcie…”

“It is a heavy subject. In fact, I struggle to think of a story we covered that delivered quite such a gut punch. The reason for that is owed to a great part to the fact that Carly’s anguish and despair was portrayed almost perfectly.”

“Don’t…”

“Even so, from a narrative point I have some issues.”

“…”

“I find it rather difficult to believe that Carly has such a visceral reaction for what is essentially looking into a mirror.”

“…”

“Yes, Sechrima attempts to explain this. Mimi acts like a child. And I am sure it is no coincidence that the name Mimi sounded quite similar to that of Carly’s daughter Emmy. Even so, there is a reason quite a few commentators expected that the real cause of Carly’s despair was in fact her dead twin. How it is presented here feels a tad ****. The reason Sechrima went for a dead newborn instead seems to be simply for shock value.”

“You’re a cold fucking bitch.”

“Am I? From my point of view it is you who are overreacting. There really is no discernible reason why Mimi should elicit such a triggering…”

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT’S TRIGGERING!”

“…!”

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT’S LIKE DEALING WITH THIS! EVERYTHING CAN REMIND YOU! EVERYTHING! YOU...YOUUU….*hic*...”

“Gina!”

…

..

.

My apologies for that.”

“…”

“Gina, we do not have to continue this.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I told you, Marcie. I don’t have a problem with dead babies, I have a problem with you being a fucking bitch!”

“...I was out of line.”

“You can say that again.”

“I was out of line.”

“Now strip naked, get down on all fours and moo loudly like the stupid fat cow you are.”

“Don’t push it, Gina.”

“Alright, fine! Let’s just continue this shitshow! Let’s see who else has some horrifying mental trauma to unload on me!”

“It would be easier to spot who has not. Even the host herself is teetering on the brink.”

“Yeah, but despite that, Sylvia is still the best host. Somehow.”

“She is kinda adorable, right? I particularly like how she handled Kim. Emotionally manipulating your workers into taking a much needed break while also making them feel guilty for slacking off is extremely erotic!”

“..your fucked up fetishes aside, I was sure you would go absolutely apeshit about having Kim’s path changed from Hard Worker to Slacker.”

“Ah, Gina. Yet again you misunderstand me. You should know best that I have no desire to break someone. After all, what good is a broken machine?”

“...”

“Kim’s retail hell was delicious but she clearly works herself to ****. Such nonsense must be nipped in the bud immediately. Sylvia does so promptly. There is some great potential there. I am getting moist just thinking about it.”

“Hurrll...”

“I want to continue on Sylvia for a bit. As stated, I really like how she handles things. That said, her compassionate nature is sometimes laid on a bit thick. Those scenes with her crying really remove any ambiguity. I would have preferred if matters were presented a bit more subtly.”

“It’s not like you can handle subtlety, Marcie.”

“You are exceedingly feisty tonight, Gina.”

“Duh, because you’re exceedingly disgusting.”

“Hmm...we skipped over some of the sex scenes. Would you like to talk about them?”

“Meh. Dawn’s was just sad. Dakota is creepy as usual. Kim is boring as usual. Mary was kinda cute, I guess.”

“Because of Holly?”

“S-shut up.”

“Personally, I am just disappointed we never got that teased wrestling match with Dani. There is a distinct lack of femdom in this story. I want to see Dani casually dominating her bro until he cries Uncle.”

“Don’t care. Maybe if Nick turns into a girl I would, but guess fucking what? THAT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!”

“Within reason, of course,” Sylvia nodded. “So nothing like turning Nick into a superhuman or creating multiple copies of him. He must remain human, the single master, and most importantly, he must remain male. If you change those details, it somewhat ruins the premise of the show, you see.”

“Sylvia fucking sucks. Worst host ever. I can’t wait for her to get spoilered.”

“To elaborate, Sylvia randomly decides that Nick should receive a transformation too. Each of the girls can make a suggestion and then the audience has to choose. Do you have any preferences, Gina?”

“Skeleton key.”

Skeleton Key: The Master’s penis will be able to perfectly satisfy whatever woman he’s with. It will change size and shape while entering a vagina in order to give and receive the best pleasure possible for both parties.

“Huh. That is rather generous of you, Gina.”

“Nah, you’re not thinking small enough, Marcie. The dick changes in whatever the girl wants! That means it can even turn into a vagina!”

“I do not think this is how it works, Gina.”

“It totally does!”

“Besides, is a lack of dick really all that matters to you?”

“W-Well...no! Of course not! But it’s a start!”

“Hmm..I personally prefer “Idle thoughts”. It is clearly the superior choice.”

Idle Thoughts: The Master has seen the temptations that transformations can give him. For each contestant, the first time each round he has a sexual fantasy about that girl, she will receive a temporary transformation that will help facilitate that fantasy, such as her butt suddenly getting bigger or suddenly being dressed as a stripper, or becoming a bimbo. These transformations will last until he has sex with the contestant or until the next challenge begins, whichever comes first.

“Meh, Skeleton key will take it. The gay fucks in the audience are all dick obsessed.”

“Gina, while I certainly do not contest the audiences sexual orientation, you have read the comments, right? There is zero chance of your pick winni..”

“It won.”

“E-excuse me?”

“Skeleton key won.”

“That is preposterous. This is literally the worst Mario Party Item!”

“For once the audience being a bunch of gay fucks paid off.”

“...let us just look at the popularity rating shall we?”

“Uhu.”

1. Mary – 14.57% +2000 BP
2. Carly – 14.15% +2000 BP
3. Dakota – 11.41% +1500 BP
4. Gina – 11.41% +1500 BP
5. Dawn – 10.64% +1500 BP
6. Dani – 10.46% +1500 BP
7. Kim – 10.01% +1500 BP
8. Rose – 9.46% +1500 BP
9. Mimi – 7.89% +1000 BP

“This is bullshit, complete and utter bullshit!” Sylvia ranted furiously. “My adorable little Mimi didn’t even get 8% of the vote?! Are you fucking kidding me?! LAST place!? Do those fools in the audience not understand just how wonderful and perfect and adorable my little slime darling is?! I’ll rip them limb from-”

“Yeah! What the fuck!”

“And why is Kim that low too? What is wrong with this audience? Are they incapable of recognizing greatness when they see it?”

“You gay fucks!”

“We have one more date to poorly summarize. As is tradition, the auditionee gets the first and last night with the master.”

“I’ve learned my lesson. I’m a good girl now. I’d never use it on you without your permission,” she promised, leaning in close so her breath burned against his ear. “Even though I’ve gotten so much more control over it… once you have a taste, you’ll never be able to hold yourself back… you’d become addicted to the feeling of having slime-covered sex, and forgive me right away… You’d practically become my ****…” She reached down and began to massage his cock through his trousers, jerking it hard and fast as he bucked into her hand. But her slime had no effect through his clothes, so no matter how wet he felt his penis getting, all the pleasure she promised was just that- a promise. “But don’t worry. I would neeeeeever **** you to do something like that…”

“HOLY FU...”

“Gina is currently humping the table.”

“I AM NOT CURRENTLY HUMPING THE TABLE!”

“Emphasis on currently.”

“F-Fine! That sex scene was pretty hot. Shame it’s with Nick and not some of the girls…”

“Hmm, it is also a very rare femdom scene. I certainly can see the appeal too, but I am still very much satisfied with the Kim scene.”

“THAT WASN’T EVEN A SCENE!”

“Yes, yes, now that the dates are over, we move on to the most exciting part. The challenge.”

“This better be good.”

“And it is...a cooking competition.”

“Meh.”

“Each of the girls has to cook up a dish for their master. So far so boring, but there is a twist. Each girl receives assistance from their potential future self. We are also starting out with a bang with another extremely erotic scene.”

*sigh*

Gina suddenly started laughing like crazy, scratching all over her body. She stripped off her leather jacket to get a better feel of her skin, but the tickling sensation just wouldn’t stop. “What did you do to me?!” She cried through fits of hysterical laughter.

“…”

“Tickle punishment is a tremendously underappreciated fetish. Say what you want about Sechrima, but they do know how to write a sexy scene.”

“I feel like I have to say this, Selfie. Marcie is not fucking with you. She is absolutely serious here.”

“Of course I am...it reminds me back when I **** you to speak politely. Ah, how nostalgic. I should have linked it to a tickling punishment too! What a missed opportunity.”

“The girls all have their final form as cooking partner. Like Dawn is a cat. Kim a slacker. But then we get to Mimi and what the actual fuck.”

“Hm…”

“This is horrifying! Stop torturing Mimi like this, you sick, demented bastard!”

“Mimi’s final form is Emmy. Mimi was created to eventually become Carly’s dead daughter.”

Mimi looked down at the bowl of fruit salad in front of her, almost complete. It hadn’t been what she’d wanted to make. But she’d made it, because Emmy wanted her to.

Because what I want doesn’t even matter.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!”

“G-Gina calm down! The scene ends on a somewhat positive note, no?”

“I don’t caaaaare! Mimiiii!!!”

“I will admit this is pretty heartbreaking. Sechrima knows how to write an emotional scene. Naturally, we can’t really do it justice like this, as such I suggest you go and read this yourself.”

“Yeah, if you want to feel like shit that is! *hic*”

“Well, while Gina is having a mental breakdown, let me use this time to say that I consider this challenge much better paced then the last one. In fact, I even wished we spend some more time on some of these dishes. Like Kim’s buffet. Unfortunately this is about where the good times end.”

“What good times? I hate this!”

“Since this is at the end of the day a popularity contest, the writing was on the wall. Despite Carly’s furious protests to offer up herself, the slimegirl Mimi is eliminated.”

“…”

“Gina?”

“This story is dead to me.”

“But the one who is hit the hardest by this is Sylvia. Fortunately for all of us, she does not go for the very disturbing prospect of turning Mimi into Carly’s daughter. Instead we get this.”

Marley and Me: From this moment on, “Mimi” no longer exists. While she still retains all the memories of her past as a Mimic Jelly, she has now received new memories and a new past to go along with her human body. She has become “Marley”, Carly’s twin sister. Everyone will remember Carly always having a sister, and she’s always been on the show. Marley will become Carly’s double on the show; they will participate in challenges together and share the same bed. However, Marley is incapable of earning any points for the two of them. She is merely an extra set of hands in the bedroom, and will be treated as a second Carly.

“It should be noted that due to various Sylvia shenanigans, Mimi can still turn into a slime, even though it is more like a blob of slime, then a slime girl.”

“I am aware, Marcie.”

“So I guess you could say...Mimi evolved to Blob Marley.”

“…”

“What? I’m just trying to lighten the mood, Gina. Besides, we are still quite a ways below 50 chapters and surely you do not want to spend the rest of this review moping around.”

“Haa…”

“Sylvia, still reeling from losing her daughter send Nick to recruit the newest girl for his harem and with recruit I mean kidnap.”

“Actually Marcie, I was nice enough to not put Nick on the scumbag protagonist list, but he just earned himself a spot with this fuckery!”

“Where do you put him?”

“27) Right between the **** Orc and the whip fetishist.”

“Hm...I suppose kidnapped a barely legal social reclusive goth girl to be part of your harem is pretty scumbag behavior.”

“Huh? Nah fuck that shit, I put him there because the fucker didn’t protect Mimi!”

“With new girl acquired through questionable means it is finally time for this rounds transformations... I would like to say, but did Rose just throw away one million dollar?”

“Seems so.”

“See, Gina. It is because of stuff like that that I can not take the French serious. I agree with wrynn for once. Rose is clearly the worst girl.”

“Let’s just do the transformations, Marcie.”

“I suppose, but really what can we possible add to this complete atrocity?”

“Oh, I can add something, alright. My foot to the audience’s balls!”

“Kim deservedly won the challenge, so she does not receive a transformation and Marley is counted as Carly’s transformation. So what are we left with? Mary receives bigger boobs, which is dreadfully dull, even though I am sure Gina will enjoy the lactation.”

“I won’t!”

“Our good girl Regina now will be aroused from doing good deeds, which she correctly states is the least interesting of the choices.”

“And Dani now gets turned on when she cooks! What the fuck even is this shit?”

“My tickle wrestling match with Nick grows ever more distant. Dawn’s scent focused one has potential, although I argue the competitive one would have been more interesting. But then the audience follows this up by not giving Rose the scent one too for the synergy.”

“That leaves Dakota. She got a good one, but don’t give the audience too much praise. Dakota had only good choices.”

“But, nothing and I mean absolutely nothing could prepare me for the figurative war crime that was done to our new girl Morgana. The audience decided to turn a genuinely unique and interesting character into...a goth girl with big breasts. In fact the audience would have gone even further with their heathen ways if it were not for Sylvia using her veto to ensure this character remains at least somewhat salvageable. In my long career of reviewing I never encountered such an utter display of incompetence from the readership. Your taste is so revoltingly bad that I feel compelled to expel my bodily waste but I will not give you the satisfaction. I did not feel that repulsed since wrynn dared to disobey my order to change his profile picture. I do not use these words lightly so please appreciate the full gravity behind it when I say to the collective audience: Fuck you.”

“You really have a thing for bratty flat chested girls, huh Marcie?”

“That is besides the point, Gina. The point being that the collective will brought manifest by these mammaries magnifying morons makes me...”

“Yeah sure whatever. Next up...”

“Actually, Gina. We are done.”

“...what? That wasn’t 50 chapters.”

“Yes, we are a tad below our maximum, but I would hate for this review to drag on any longer then it already has.”

“But..w-wait! We didn’t even get to the fucking Sylvia spoiler!”

“I thought you said this story was dead to you.”

“Uh...don’t get me wrong, Marcie. I fucking hate this! This fucking sucks! This dipshit ruined Mimi and there were still no sharks in it! I only want to keep reading so that I can keep insulting Selfie for sucking so much!”

“You want to know what happens to Marley, do you, Gina?”

“N-No...I totally don’t!”

“Hmm...I had my fair share of grievances but this follow up does keep consistent in quality with our first read. In fact, I’d argue the overall pacing even has improved while Sechrima is still excellent when it comes to banter and juggling a large cast. On top of that they managed to emotionally break Gina. I suppose I can give them a passing grade.”

“R-Right? We were way too nice this time around! We got to keep reading until the story inevitably turns to shit!”

“No, Gina.”

“But…”

“No, Gina.”

“Grrrrr…”

“Maybe if you ask nicely, Sechrima will request a follow up?”

“Fuck you! There are too many nice girls in this story already thanks to the dipshit audience. This story needs me!”

“But right now I need you to calm down so I can close this follow up up.”

“Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!”

“Good…”

“FUCK YOOOOUUUUU!”

“night.”