Go back to the Mountain

“I’ll go back to the mountain. I should be able to get to that cabin pretty easily by following that road.” Grey looked back at the mountain. It’s huge red spires made it look like a giant kid’s sand castle. Grey gulped nervously.

“Well… at least I have my supplies…” Which meant three important things to Grey: Food, drink, and porn. Grey wouldn’t leave his beloved porn collection behind him. It had taken him years to assemble such a magnificent group of slightly-ill-gotten goods. And he wasn’t about to abandon it inside a heap of scrap metal in the wilderness for some very luck Boy Scout. Though, he really didn’t think that people came down here often… or at all…

“Ooo, how comfy,” Grey said sarcastically as his back adjusted uncomfortably to the weight of his brand new abomination of a backpack. Then, Grey’s journey up the mountain began. At first, all was easy going; the road ahead was a little dusty by it was easier to travel than walking in the tall flowery grass. He was making great time. In just an hour and a half Grey was at the foot of he mountain slope. All was going great until…

A tiny drop of water plummeted from the dark clouds overhead. It’s small mass landed on Grey’s backpack, soaking into a particularly favorite magazine. It featured a young petite girl having quite a bit of fun with various ladies, who all seemed to like zucchini quite a bit. Maybe a bit too much…

“Oh, great… Rain. Just what I need right now.” Disgruntled, and now soaking wet, Grey trudged up the now muddying trail, slipping every so often. After ten minutes, Grey’s pants became caked in mud, making him look like a kid who just found a vat of brown pudding unguarded. The moisture was soaking in, making some places on him quite cold and uncomfortable. Needless to say, Grey didn’t appreciate all the muck slowly creeping up him to certain sensitive areas…

“The hell with this! I’m going up over there!” ‘There’ was a large rocky area off the side of the beaten path. It was the site of a very old avalanche; the rocks were now covered in green moss and didn’t look too stable. Grey somehow thought this was a better way to go as he disregarded the safe path of mud for the slick rocky face of the mountain.

“Hehehe, I’m like a cat! I can’t fall off!” Grey exclaimed as his veins were pumped full of adrenalin yet again from risking **** with every slip of his feet. He had now climbed for ten minutes. Slowly, he crawled up the rocky side of the mountain like a large fly, his hands grabbed for every solid rock they could find in the approaching darkness of night.

“Hah, this… isn’t so… bad!” Grey gasped. Ironically, after this statement, disaster struck Grey. His hastily crafted carrying device had finally had enough of hauling Grey’s precious porn. The extensive weight of the water combined with the materials caused the bag to burst, making the innocent porns eject out over the side of the mountain, along with all his other valuable supplies.

“Son of a bitch!! No!” Grey bellowed as he attempted to grab is favorite porno from the side of the mountain. At this point, Grey’s sense of safety was masked by the urgent need to recapture his porn. He failed to catch it, and it flittered down the mountain into the darkness. He was twisted around, staring as the last of his sodas rolled down the side of the mountain into the oblivion below.

“Damnit!!” Grey cursed his bad luck. He stamped his foot and the rock below gave way. “W-Whoa! Nearly slipped there…” Grey suddenly figured out that he was holding onto the mountain with only one hand and foot. His intense fear of falling to his **** had finally returned and he clung to the cliff’s edge for dear life.

‘What can I do?’ Grey thought as he dared to look down. He quickly averted his eyes from the deep crevice below. He considered his options. He could continue on his way, without porn and food and hope that he could find some sort of shelter from the rain. This didn’t seem too promising, as the nearest ledge seems miles above him. Grey could also go down and retrieve his lost food supplies from the ledge below. No problem, just risk limb and life for some chips and porn; nothing too drastic for a college boy, right? Neither option seems too positive to Grey, but he will have to choose one.