Get dinner with mom and sister

Yeah i haven't talked to them that much since i started unpacking, maybe i should go downstairs and at least share dinner - i decided to go get some dinner even though i wasn't hungry.

I stepped in the kitchen/dining room and saw mom preparing some tacos with a lot of different ingredients - i'm sure is going to taste great because mom is an absolute cooking master - my sister was sitting next to mom without paying attention of what she was saying

When she finally noticed my presence, mom invited me to sit and served the tacos, she took a sit and said "Is great to finally be here, in peace and sharing a normal dinner" - it was kinda uncomfortable being in that situation, my sister wasn't paying attention and was stuck staring at her phone, i also felt indiferent and i really didn't want to be there so i said "Mom... i... i'm not really that hungry to be honest"

Mom made a sad frown which made me realize that i was being ungrateful - since i didn't want to act as a bitch like my sister and i didn't want to see my mom sad i cheered her up a little bit "The food looks really good though so i appreciate it"

I decided to eat a little bit of the food until mom interrupted me with a frustrated tone

"I know is tough, kids but i'm really trying here... we didn't have much of a choice, we have to move on and that's why i chose this city to start a new life" my sister and i were a bit emotional about the situation and mom noticed this and said "After losing your father... i couldn't keep going with my normal life and i know it affected you too as much as it did to me but we have to be strong and continue because that's what he would have wanted..."

A long silence filled the room while mom starting to tear up, she stood from her chair and excused herself to go to her room. After a while i decided to finish my food and asked my sister for help to wash the dishes but her, being the bitch that she is, just left to her room without saying a single word.

As i was making my way up to my room i heard sobbing coming from mom's room - i didn't want to bother her and decided to go upstairs, brush my teeth and put on my pajamas to go to sleep

But seeing my mother like that clearly affected me, i thought she is definitely going through a lot right now but i really shouldn't get in the way. I'm sure a lot of this is going to be ok and we only need a couple of weeks to adapt to this new place - i laid down in bed but i couldn' stop thinking - everything is going to be okay... right?

After a while of trying to sleep i thought that maybe sleeping was not the best thing right now, clearly i was thinking a lot about my situation but i had to clear my mind so i can get some rest

I looked at my phone and for a quick moment i thought maybe if i rub one out i will clear my head and is going to be easy to sleep but i didn't want to do that - mainly because i want to think more and more and also because i don't like fapping, it makea me feel guilty and it reinforces my porn addiction that i'm trying to quit - maybe is for the best to stop thinking and just peek a little bit, it doesn't affect you that much.