Fright At The Museum

"We have to get out of here." Steven whispered as he and Mary watched the taller Jersey man fumble about as he tried to take the armor off.

"But we can't let them rob the place either." Mary replied in a hushed voice, "Is there a way we could trip up an alarm or something before we leave?"

"That guy is a moron." Steven muttered as Ash fell over onto his back, a loud clanging noise echoing through the halls. "But if that Australian chick was anywhere near as competent as she was aggressive, then there's a good reason that the cops haven't shown up by now. Which is more than enough of a reason for us to get the hell outta dodge!"

"And there!"

Steven and Mary turned to see that Ash had finally removed the last of the armor from himself, setting it on the ground as the boxer clad man then walked out of the wing to look for his clothes.

"Hold on..." Steven said suddenly, looking at the suit of armor as he scratched his chin in thought. "I think I have an idea."

"Ah, bloody 'ell!" Caitlyn snapped as she saw that, while his pants remained, Gus was nowhere to be seen. "That stickybeak already buggered off! We gotta get those jewels before the coppas arrive!"

"Sorry, Officer." A security guard who's name tag read 'Barbara' apologized as she stood next to a statue posing in a seductive way. "Haven't seen anything out of the ordinary tonight so far."

"Well, thank you, Ma'am." Sam said with a nod as he turned and left.

"I do hope you find whatever it -" Barbara called after the officer as walked out the door, leaning against the podium... And causing the statue to fall over and shatter on the ground with a loud crash.

"Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!" Barbara squeaked.

"What is going on in - MY STATUE!"

"Another dead end?" Dana asked as Sam climbed back into the car.

"Pretty much." Sam said as he started the car and began to drive off. "Fortunately, that just leaves the natura-AAAAH!"

Sam swerved to avoid another car from hitting him, slamming on his breaks as the other car stopped. The doors opened and out stepped a man and woman around the same age as Steven and Mary, respectively.

"What the hell is your guys problem?!" Dana snapped as she stepped out of the car, covering herself as she glared down the two in front of her. "What? You get your license from a crackerjack box?!"

"Hey, Bitch!" Jessica snapped, "At least he doesn't get his soap from the sewer! Good Lord, you stink!"

"I'll handle this, Dana." Sam said before clearing his throat. "Where's the fire, Sir?"

"Hey, sorry, Officer." Tyrone apologized, "My girlfriend and I need to get to The Royal Grand Gardens Hotel to give some clothes to a couple of friends of ours."

Dana raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Would your friends happen to be named Mary and Steven?"

Now Jessica and Tyrone looked worried, looking at each other briefly before turning to Sam. "Officer, what happened?!" Jessica asked.

"Get in, we'll explain everything." Sam replied as he gestured to his car.

"Dagnabit! Where are they now?!" Gus snapped as he walked through the halls of the museum, looking for Steven and Mary as he walked through a wing dedicated to dinosaurs.

"Gotta hurry! Gotta hurry!"

"Ah, hell! Not another one." Gus groaned as he saw the open skull of a tyrannosaurus, jumping into it and ducking down as he saw Ash run past, the New Jersey man fumbling with his pants as he raced towards the Egyptian exhibit.

"Maybe Ah should just wait outside 'til those yahoos come out and these yahoos finish whatever stupid game they're doing." Gus muttered as he watched Ash leave, standing back up...

**RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP**

"Dagnabit!" Gus cursed silently, seeing the torn remains of his boxers lodged between the dinosaurs' teeth.

"There they are..." Caitlyn said in awe at the display case containing several multicolored gems. "The Jewels of The Lost Pharaoh. Just one of these babies can turn a 'omeless man into a king! Now to just..."

Caitlyn trailed off as the sound of metallic footsteps entered the room, coming to a stop behind her. The Australian let out a groan as she turned around in annoyance to see the suit of armor in front of her. "Crikey, Ash! I told ya to take that stupid suit off, ya drongo!"

"Leave thy sanctum at once, foul wench!"

"Okay, props to ya for getting better with the acting and disguising your voice." Caitlyn admitted, only to growl as she snapped, "Now stop mucking around before I get really spewin!"

"Sorry I'm late, Caitlyn. I - Uh, who's that?"

Caitlyn looked behind the suit to see Ash standing in the doorway of the Egypt wing, staring at the suit in a mixture of fear and confusion.

"I demand thee once more!" The Knight shouted, "Leave thy sanctum!"

"Thankfully this thing had a set of controls that that guy was too stupid to notice." Steven chuckled as he held his hand over the remote's microphone.

"I just hope this works." Mary said.